Posted on 03/18/2002 11:00:38 AM PST by PetroniDE
1. "DON'T SQUAT WITH YER SPURS ON!"
2. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
3. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
4. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
5. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
6. Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.
7. Always drink upstream from the herd.
8. If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
9. When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
10. The best way to have a quiche for dinner is to make it up and put it in the oven to bake at 325 degrees. Meanwhile, get out a large T-bone, grill it, and when it's done, eat it. As for the quiche, continue to let it bake, but otherwise ignore it.
11. Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.
12. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
13. There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
14. If a someone says there ain't no God, tell'em to go tell the cow, she'll understand better.
Say it in Oklahoma or Mexico and they probably will agree with you. Not necessarily for the same reason though.
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