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Parents drug use, sex lives steal focus: (Van Dam's reveal intimate details, more questions arise!)
Court TV ^ | March 16, 2002 | Court TV

Posted on 03/16/2002 12:09:40 PM PST by FresnoDA

Parents drug use, sex lives steal focus

 
photo

Brenda van Dam cries as she testifies Thursday about her daughter's disappearance.

SAN DIEGO (Court TV) — The parents of Danielle van Dam took the stand Thursday at a preliminary hearing for their daughter's accused killer and tearfully recalled the circumstances of the 7-year-old's abduction from her bedroom.

Asked what she found when she went to wake her daughter on the morning of Feb. 2, a red-eyed Brenda van Dam replied, "an empty bed."

But the girl's disappearance and murder quickly took a back seat to questions about her parents' drug use, drinking habits and sex life.

Brenda and Damon van Dam acknowledged smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol the night their daughter vanished from her bedroom. A lawyer for murder suspect David Westerfield also repeatedly quizzed the pair about rumors they were "swingers," sexually involved with others.

 

Danielle's father, Damon van Dam

Judge H. Ronald Domnitz precluded many of the questions as irrelevant, but Brenda van Dam admitted a female friend tried to grope her breasts in a bar that night. And her husband said he had a relationship with the same woman and had kissed and massaged her in his bed the night his daughter went missing.

Westerfield, a 50-year-old engineer who lived two doors down from the van Dams, is accused of kidnapping the second-grader from her bedroom the night of Feb. 1 and killing her. Her body, too decomposed to determine a cause of death, was discovered in a trash-strewn lot Feb. 27. Spots of Danielle's blood were found in Westerfield's recreational vehicle and on his jacket, according to police. They said they also recovered child pornography from his home and suspect a sexual motive.

At the close of the three-day hearing Thursday afternoon, Domnitz ruled there was sufficient evidence to try Westerfield for kidnapping and murder. He will be arraigned March 28. Prosecutors have not decided whether they will seek the death penalty.

Brenda van Dam, who like her husband wore a picture of her daughter on her lapel, testified that almost all of her contact with Westerfield came in the week preceding her daughter's abduction. On Jan. 25, she said, she saw him at Dad's, a neighborhood bar where she had gone with two female friends. He bought her a cranberry and vodka cocktail, but she said she could not remember what they talked about and still did not know his name.

 

Suspect David Westerfield

Several days later, she said, she, her son Dylan and Danielle went to Westerfield's home while selling Girl Scout cookies. Westerfield formally introduced himself and bought four boxes of cookies. While the children ran around his pool, she and Westerfield talked, she testified.

He wanted to get to know her female friends, she said.

"He said to tell them I had a rich neighbor to introduce them to," she testified.

She said she told Westerfield that she and her friends might return to Dad's the next Friday if she could get a baby sitter. Her husband, she recalled telling him, would be out of town.

As she left his house, Westerfield took her phone number and told her he "had adult parties and also barbecues" and planned to invite her and her husband to them, she testified.

She said she found the comment so strange that she called her husband at work when she got home.

"It struck me as odd that he mentioned adult parties. I didn't know what he meant by that," she said. On cross-examination, she denied Feldman's charge that she was tickled because "there were others in your neighborhood allegedly engaged in the swinging lifestyle."

The van Dam's testified that on Feb. 1, Brenda and her two female friends planned to go to Dad's bar and Damon, his trip postponed, to stay home with the three children. Damon van Dam said he drank two beers with dinner and a third later.

When the friends, identified as Denise Kamal and Barbara Easton, arrived, the adults went into the garage, locked the door and shared half a marijuana joint. The boys played video games while Danielle sat at the kitchen table writing in her journal.

Brenda van Dam said she had smoked marijuana about 30 times before, and both testified they had the garage lock specially set to keep the children from happening upon them. Damon van Dam said he had one or two hits and Brenda said she had "three or four puffs."

"Did it get you high?" asked defense lawyer Steven Feldman.

"I did," she said.

The women left for the bar, and Damon van Dam said he played video games with his sons and then put all three children to bed at about 10 p.m. Danielle, he said, was already in her four-poster bed when he entered the room to tuck her in.

"I gave her a kiss goodnight," he said. He left her door and those of her brothers open about eight inches, he said.

After watching television and walking the dog, he went to bed, he said. He testified that the dog, Leila, was raised with dogs who had their larynx removed and almost never barked.

Brenda van Dam said that when she arrived at the bar, Westerfield was there with two friends and offered to buy her and her friends drinks.

"He said, Ladies don't buy their own drinks and threw some money on the counter," she testified.

She said that over the course of the evening, she had three cranberry and vodka cocktails and a shot of tequila. She said she did not know how many Westerfield bought because her friends just kept passing them to her. She also said she went to the parking lot with Easton, Kamal and two male friends and smoked the rest of the joint.

"How clearheaded were you," Dusek asked.

"I think I was very clearheaded," she said.

At one point, she and her friends played pool with Westerfield's friends. She said she noticed him watching them.

She said she danced with her male friends and a male stranger and then with Kamal and Easton. Under cross-examination, she admitted that Easton and Kamal were dancing provocatively with each other, and that she told investigators Easton tried to grab her breasts. Brenda van Dam denied ever dancing with Westerfield, but before the hearing ended, the defense listed several bystanders who said they had seen the pair on the dance floor together.

At 1:50 a.m., the bar closed and she drove Kamal and Easton back to her house. The two male friends also joined them.

Damon van Dam said he had just returned to bed from taking the dog out again when his wife and friends arrived home. Brenda van Dam said as she walked into the house, the security alarm indicated a door in the garage was ajar. The alarm was not hooked up to a security company and did not sound continuously when a door or window opened. She said she closed it and then she and Easton went to the master bedroom.

Easton, he said, got on the bed.

"I put my arm around her and kissed her and rubbed her back," said Damon van Dam, adding that he could not remember whether his wife was in the room at the time, but she later left.

On cross-examination, Feldman asked if he and Easton had a relationship with her and he said "Yes."

Eventually, he and Easton joined the two men and Brenda van Dam in the living room. After eating pizza, the guests left and the van Dams went to bed about 2:30 without looking in on their children.

Damon van Dam said that sometime during the night, he woke to use the restroom and noticed a flashing light on the alarm panel. He went downstairs and found the sliding back door slightly ajar. He closed it, thinking one of his guests had opened it, and returned to bed.

At 9 the next morning, Brenda found Danielle's bed empty.

"We started looking everywhere," she said.

"What was your state of mind?" Dusek asked.

"Frantic," she said.



TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Extended News; US: California
KEYWORDS: vandams; westerfield
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To: RnMomof7
They will never get to the truth of the night because the parents have alot ot hide..

That may be, but there are other sorts of evidence that can be gathered: namely, physical evidence. Some sort of smoking gun would be very helpful.

Additionally, I want to make sure people understand that I am *not* advocating that the police restrict any part of their investigation that is pertenant to the murder. I despise the murder as much as anyone, and think that whomever did it should be executed. All I am saying on this thread is that, in the course of the investigation, the police should avoid infringing the parent's privacy where they can. I am also saying that focusing on the parent's activities, in and of themselves and not insofar as it helps the investigation, is mere titilation and something I am opposed to.

Tuor

321 posted on 03/17/2002 8:23:44 PM PST by Tuor
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To: FresnoDA
BTW, what is California using in the way of execution equipment these days? Gas Chamber, Electric Chair, or Lethal Injection? I have been gone from there for so long, I am no longer aware....
322 posted on 03/17/2002 8:32:25 PM PST by RangeRatt
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To: skipjackcity
Thank you for the reply. It was well-written and thoughtful.

If the private actions of the VDs made it easier for the murderer to get into their house, then they are merely guilty of leaving the henhouse door unlocked, and for that they have already paid very dearly.

Someone murdered that girl, and I don't think any of us believe it was the parents. That someone broke into their house, whether through an open window or a closed one, he still broke in. He then either abducted or straightaway killed the girl, maybe he thumped her while she was sleeping. It doesn't surprise me that a person trying to be quiet makes less noise than a dog scratching to get out of the house.

I don't care why the murderer did what he did. The reasons only matter, slightly, when it comes to punishment: it matters not at all when it comes to guilt. Whatever twisted motivation the murderer had, it was not sufficient to justify murdering a child. Period.

Tuor

323 posted on 03/17/2002 8:44:23 PM PST by Tuor
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To: Hillary's Lovely Legs
most loving and responsible couples and parents What a sneaky extension: how is that if you are a loving couple you are also a good parent? You have not seen enough people who are in love with a man or, respectively a woman, marry that person, adore that person, yet never become good parents? Being a good son does not make one a good husband.

The swingers --- whether those on FR or elsewhere --- have this propaganda that they are very loving and it is all about "just having sex with other people." Makes me really sick to hear it from people who fancy themselves conservatives: even the leftist psychologist will tell you about "not being there," but the conservatives, I would think, should know and promulgate the idea that marriage is commitment.

And that's how our culture went down the drain: free love became "just sex," then sex without marriage at all, then raising the offspring in multiple homes. Because family is where commitment is toughty and leanred first. When it disappears from the family, it eventually disappears from other areas of life. So much abut swigning being "just about sex." Yeh, right. With conservatives like these, I should call Clinton a neo-conservative.

324 posted on 03/17/2002 9:01:45 PM PST by TopQuark
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To: RangeRatt

San Quentin State Prison (SQ)

 

INSTITUTION MISSION SUMMARY

San Quentin is California's oldest and best known correctional institution. The prison today includes a reception center for new commitments, a parole violator unit, general population units, and a minimum security work crew unit. The state's only gas chamber and death row for all male condemned inmates are located at San Quentin.

In 1992, the district court granted plaintiffs' motion for a temporary restraining order ("TRO") enjoining defendants from executing any California death row inmate by means of lethal gas. Fierro I, 790 F.Supp. at 7. The court found that there existed serious questions going to the merits and that an evidentiary hearing was necessary. Id. at 970-71.

Robert Alton Harris was executed in San Quentin's gas chamber shortly after 6:00 a.m. on April 21, 1992. Plaintiffs Fierro and Ruiz remain on California's death row. When California executed Harris, the state's sole method of execution was the "administration of a lethal gas." Cal. Penal Code section 3604 (West 1982). Soon after Harris's execution, in response to this case, the California Legislature amended section 3604 by adding lethal injection as an alternative means of execution. Cal. Stats. 1992, c.558. The amended statute provides for execution by lethal gas unless an inmate affirmatively chooses lethal injection and "if either manner of execution . . . is held invalid, the punishment of death shall be imposed by the alternative means." Cal. Penal Code section 3604 (West Supp. 1995).

Since then, the Gas Chamber has been "standing by" and LI is the means of execution in California.

 

325 posted on 03/17/2002 9:46:05 PM PST by FresnoDA
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To: Tuor
Since their little girl was more than likely molested before being murdered, I think their so-called private sex life is relevant to this case. They should be willing to reveal any, and everything to find and punish the killer.
326 posted on 03/17/2002 9:56:11 PM PST by tetelestai
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To: Tuor;golitely;spectre;Amore;Travis McGee;BunnySlippers;Doughtyone;Hillary's Lovely Legs...

A Freeper's Guide to Basic Swinging

    Swinging can be an emotionally charged lifestyle. Freeper Section In Red

    First of all, we "are" talking about having sex with someone other than your own spouse. (Now, I don't know about you, but my wife would pull a Lorenna Bobbit, the first time I tried it!) That by itself can be a daunting prospect, especially for couples who haven’t talked a lot about their sexual fantasies.

    Second, every event you attend is a test of your people skills: you must make a conscious effort to behave diplomatically (manipulate those around you), and that’s not always easy when you’re used to dealing with your spouse who knows and understands your moods and various tones of voice (knows when your being phony!).

    Finally, finding couples whom you are attracted to and who are attracted to you is a lot like dating (LOL), you try to make a good impression, you send what you hope are appropriate signals, you ask the big question, and you might get rejected. Here are some "basic rules" to remember.

    Basic Rules

     1)   Never attempt to break up a couple. (That's right, my Grandpa taught us about that on his farm when we were young.  You try and pull two dogs apart, you can van dam well get bitten!)
     2)   Set your limits and stick to them. If the other party cannot accept them, leave! (Losers walk)
     3)   Move at your own pace, don’t let someone rush you into something you may regret later. (This means, anyone with high blood pressure, stay home)
     4)   Always keep the first meeting on a no strings attached basis, but be prepared to swing if it is mutually agreeable or to give an honest answer if something doesn’t click. (Keep your throttle poised to strike, and stand by for full power if requested)
     5)   Don’t lie and cheat on your soul mate. If you do you're in the lifestyle for the wrong reason. (This is the hard part, since swinging is cheating, and your spouse is there, you got to make your mate THINK you are only doing it to keep them happy....SEE MANIPULATION ABOVE)
     6)   Always keep dates unless you give ample notice of changing circumstances. (Yeah, swingers are not selling Amway you know!)
     7)   Don’t cross other people’s limits. (Always make sure you don't wear the same shirt as another guy)
     8)   Never, under any circumstances exert pressure on a partner to swing. (Use a "soft touch"!!)
     9)   Protect the anonymity of other swingers by refraining from name dropping. (Tape recorders are frowned upon....however their is a universal exception for Linda Tripp)
    10)   Always maintain the highest standards of personal cleanliness and appearance. (Yeah, dang man, take a bath, we are not swinging in the mud)
    11)   Do not engage in any unlawful activity that would discredit swingers as a group. (Things like, drugs, drinking and driving, murder, now known as don't Van Dam the group)
    12)   Communicate and be honest with your soul mate and other swingers. (Kumbaya, sing it loud, sing it often)
    13)   No, thanks, means NO! No explanation needed. (Know what I mean?)


327 posted on 03/17/2002 10:00:16 PM PST by FresnoDA
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To: FresnoDA
11) Do not engage in any unlawful activity that would discredit swingers as a group. (Things like, drugs, drinking and driving, murder, now known as don't Van Dam the group) ROFL
328 posted on 03/17/2002 10:03:20 PM PST by tetelestai
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To: FresnoDA
thanks for the info- it is refreshing to have information at hand. BTW, did you find out if Mt. VanDam is named for Damon's dad? Or a new swing position?
329 posted on 03/17/2002 10:16:28 PM PST by RangeRatt
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To: Jaded
Oh, I don't know. It all depends on what happened after THAT!

I just do not think we have any proof before us that Danielle was MURDERED in the technical sense of the law.

For that to be, someone at some time has to have WILLED AND INTENDED FOR HER TO DIE, and that just is not shown. Look at the Van Dams, in court, under oath, treating David as if he was just a neighbor and pal, and never looking crosseyed at him! They are either totally non-human, or do not think he did anything awful to their daughter.

He in return, seems to think of them as rather poor quality double crossing neighbors, but only got really irritated when Brenda tried to deny she danced with him.

It still just looks like a combination of a lot of socially unapproved behavior to conceal, combined with a dead body on their hands, and MAYBE even some convenient neighbor, friend, or distant relative silly enough to try to help them get rid of it.

330 posted on 03/17/2002 10:38:14 PM PST by crystalk
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To: Tuor
Every one of the parent's "partners" is a potential suspect -- just like checking out the neighborhood, but even more so if one assumes this was a sex related crime.
331 posted on 03/18/2002 4:17:05 AM PST by bvw
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To: FresnoDA
He used her first name, eh? Just as she used his first name while on the stand. Westerfield, supposedly the man who killed her daughter, and she refers to him by "Dave." Odd.
332 posted on 03/18/2002 5:09:44 AM PST by MizSterious
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To: Jaded; FresnoDA
Some of these people seemed to qualify for "sex addicts." I've read (somewhere) that for a sex addict, almost anyone (or anything) will do, so long as they receive some sort of gratification. It's another line of inquiry, perhaps.
333 posted on 03/18/2002 5:15:24 AM PST by MizSterious
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To: Tuor
"I don't think any of us believe it was the parents"...

You couldn't be more wrong. Why do you think we are focused on the deviant sexual liasons that were going on in that house the evening Danielle disappeard?

Why do you think we are focused on the drinking, drugs, pot-smoking and swinging?

Because no one seemed to be level-headed and any scenerio is possible, including the parents or someone in that house being so out of control with their sexual urges, that the poor child suffered the consequences.

Do you think it's impossible the parents or their friends didn't cross the line and go after Danielle?

I don't.

sw

334 posted on 03/18/2002 5:21:20 AM PST by spectre
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To: skipjackcity
"...and those who are libertarian and don't want to admit that someone's lifestyle may have caused their child to be abducted and killed (because they might have to ask themselves some serious questions)..."

You've said a mouthful there, and I think, concisely explained the reason for some of the flame wars on these threads. I quoted that one phrase, but there was a lot of good commentary in your post.

335 posted on 03/18/2002 5:23:12 AM PST by MizSterious
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To: Jaded;FresnoDA
"If they're gonna execute someone, make sure it's the right person beyond a reasonable doubt. "

As FresnoDA said, there's a lot more to this than a "pound of flesh." Lots. We could, of course, execute Westerfield without benefit of a fair trial, but if we did, would children be any safer? If he's not the guy who did this, someone else did. That "someone else" will still be walking the streets preying on children unless we find him. Executing the wrong man accomplishes nothing, except another notch on the belt of the DA, who wants and needs good conviction records. (Although, as Oklahoma City has learned, sometimes those false convictions will eventually catch up to you.)

336 posted on 03/18/2002 5:28:07 AM PST by MizSterious
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To: Tuor
I am going to disagree about police not investigating the parents behavior. There are still two young boys in that household that could be directly affected by what these parents have been doing and might continue to do in the future. One of the tapes from the garage video system was of male homosexual sex--there are other reasons to remove the children, but that's a strong one in and of itself. Their other sexual behavior can only be described as "deviant" and not conducive to a healthy household--physically, mentally or spiritually.

But let's not forget the drugs (do you really think it was only marijuana? earlier reports also mentioned cocaine). Stoned people are often careless people, and leave things lying about the house--such as pills or other things that could harm, if not kill, small children. Hanging out with drug dealers is yet another danger that I really hope the courts investigate. Your "live and let live" stance puts children in danger.

337 posted on 03/18/2002 5:36:50 AM PST by MizSterious
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To: Tuor
"...then they are merely guilty of leaving the henhouse door unlocked, and for that they have already paid very dearly."

Leaving the doors unlocked and unchecked is negligence. Using and keeping drugs is criminal--and when children are involved, all the more so. The two boys should be removed immediately. Children overdose easily; their little bodies are so small. And unfortunately, children can get in the way of drug dealer disputes, too--as has been documented often on the nightly news. Yes, the van Dams' lifestyle is a real danger to those children.

I have also been on record on other threads as saying that unless we find that the VDs are directly involved in the killing of their daughter, I prefer for their custody case to be tried in a different court--but it's inevitable that Westerfield's attorney will get into this. Really, he'll have to, if he's to put on a good defense.

338 posted on 03/18/2002 5:45:03 AM PST by MizSterious
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To: FresnoDA
"...now known as don't Van Dam the group..."

Coulda used a coffee-spew warning on this one! Wouldn't be surprised if "swingers clubs" everywhere are using that term!

339 posted on 03/18/2002 5:51:20 AM PST by MizSterious
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To: golitely
WARNING...BASIC SWINGING SWEEPER RULES may cause excessive Coffee Spewing.....sorry I was late posting....FDA
340 posted on 03/18/2002 6:07:27 AM PST by FresnoDA
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