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To: andysandmikesmom;In Chief's honor;Cob1
"My own advice to those who want to help those who are grieving is this...listen to them, without judging them...sometimes those of us who have lost a child, want to badly to talk about our child to others...but sometimes others feel uncomfortable with that, and then they draw away, fearful they may say or do the wrong thing...please know and understand, that talking about our deceased children can be theraputic...it allows us to share our child with others, it allows us to in some small way keep them alive...

In spite of all I tried, to get over my sons death, I eventually wound up in the hospital, diagnosed with severe clinical depression....but meds and much therapy have restored me...I also have amnesia for about the first 18 months after my sons death...this is not tremendously unusual...I have read of many other mothers who lost a child, and some have had amnesia for years after the death...its almost as if the mind will not allow us to relive the sharp pain we felt so soon after our childs death..."

Wow, your story is so moving, and I always admire the grace you have to reach out to others and help when they are hurting.

it's so good to see you here! Not surprised you would post such beautiful words in your post #27 ...

I think your thoughts may bring some comfort to many here who have lost someone, even if it's not their beloved child...but still - people need to understand when others are grieving - you can't just turn it on or turn it off.

Hope your adventurer son is doing well, and hubby too! Good to see you, and I hope the CHief's Wife gets to read what you wrote...

68 posted on 02/10/2002 4:48:51 PM PST by SunnyUsa
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To: SunnyUsa
Thanks so much for your kind words...this thread is indeed a comfort to me, and I hope in some small way, I can reach out to others...my hubby and adventurer son are well...

I would add here, that the adventurer son was the younger boy who watched his older brother suffer and die...Andy was only barely 11 when his brother died, and he was inconsolable for so long...he sobbed and sobbed the entire night his brother died, and he would not let us comfort him...he just cried himself to sleep....

In some ways, I think, Andy has become an adventurer, because he saw all too clearly how short life can be...he saw that his older brother would never have the chance to live his life fully...I sometimes believe that Andy lives his life double, once for himself, and once for his brother..

74 posted on 02/10/2002 5:04:32 PM PST by andysandmikesmom
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