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Something happened today!
My dementia | 02/08/2002 | Lazamataz

Posted on 02/08/2002 7:26:11 AM PST by Lazamataz

Washington D.C. (UPA) -- In a stunning report, something is going on, reports a government agency Thursday. This happened over three times in three weeks, someone in this agency was quoted as saying.

“You’d be surprised what happens,” said this employee, “sometimes, things happen and I am not even made aware of it.” The employee would neither confirm nor deny that something went on, despite a Congressional Inquiry into the sequence of events.

Something happens on a regular basis somewhere in the globe, confirmed the Center for Responsive Stuff. Rates of things occurring have been rising worldwide ever since the government began keeping track of things, with a sharp dip in things not happening in February, bringing the total of stuff going on to an all time high. The incidence of foreign activity has sharply increased, as well, bringing the activity deficit to a relative parity with some other place somewhere. >{? “Surprisingly, things happen in foreign countries too,” said the Chief Counsel of Affairs of the United Nations, “and it is very difficult to keep track of it all – even in this highly computerized information age we are in.”

The quantity of things going on elsewhere has greatly concerned the Pentagon, who tries to keep strict controls on the various things going on. Said General Ween: “If things are allowed to get out of hand, there is just no telling, I mean, who knows where it will go or how bad it can get.” The President has budgeted for a sharp increase in monitoring capability for the US military in response to the threat of various things happening.


TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: allyourbase; dementia; hugh; series
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Hey.

It could happen.

1 posted on 02/08/2002 7:26:11 AM PST by Lazamataz
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To: Lazamataz
Shit happens, then you die. Or is that, "Life's a bitch, then shit happens?"
2 posted on 02/08/2002 7:28:48 AM PST by VadeRetro
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To: Registered
I tried getting this into Breaking News.
3 posted on 02/08/2002 7:31:14 AM PST by Lazamataz
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To: Lazamataz; SirG a Wain; DoG
Shouldn't this be posted as "BREAKING NEWS?"
4 posted on 02/08/2002 7:32:44 AM PST by RonDog
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To: Lazamataz
"It can't happen here"

F.Z.

5 posted on 02/08/2002 7:32:57 AM PST by KeepUSfree
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To: Lazamataz
There was no Breaking News today, as the few things that did happen, didn't happen fast enough.
6 posted on 02/08/2002 7:35:50 AM PST by 1 FELLOW FREEPER
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To: Lazamataz
What happen?
7 posted on 02/08/2002 7:36:24 AM PST by Sir Gawain
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To: Lazamataz
LOL!
8 posted on 02/08/2002 7:36:26 AM PST by Registered
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To: Lazamataz
Wake me up when somethin' happens. Thanks

But, if nothin' happens, I think I should be informed.

9 posted on 02/08/2002 7:36:35 AM PST by JoeSixPack1
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To: Lazamataz
D@rn those Moderators!!! They're trying to squash this story!!!
10 posted on 02/08/2002 7:37:24 AM PST by RonDog
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To: Lazamataz
I'm glad it happened today and not next Tuesday!!!
11 posted on 02/08/2002 7:41:32 AM PST by sinclair
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To: Lazamataz
Usually when things happen in the mid-west, they are not happening on the East and West coasts and vice-versa. But sometimes this is reversed.
12 posted on 02/08/2002 7:42:15 AM PST by KC_for_Freedom
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To: Lazamataz
This just in ...

General Francisco Franco is still dead.

13 posted on 02/08/2002 7:43:01 AM PST by BlueLancer
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To: RonDog
""D@rn those Moderators!!! They're trying to squash this story!!!""

Yeah. Next the moderators are gonna want to know EXACTLY what happened, then, of course, all hell will break loose!!
14 posted on 02/08/2002 7:43:36 AM PST by 1 FELLOW FREEPER
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To: sinclair
I'm glad it happened today and not next Tuesday!!!

There's rumors it will be happening again soon, unless swift action is taken!

15 posted on 02/08/2002 7:46:40 AM PST by Lazamataz
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To: KC_for_Freedom; Registered; RedBloodedAmerican
My only complaint is, why is this not all over Fox News? I mean, I understand about CNN and ABC/CBS/NBC -- they always try to keep up in the dark -- but Fox?

Et tu, Fox???

16 posted on 02/08/2002 7:48:33 AM PST by Lazamataz
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To: Lazamataz
Schnitt Happens. We actually have billboards down here in Florida proclaiming that. The billboards are ads for Mike Schnitt, a local talk radio host. When you have a name like that, you either change it or make it work for you. Apparently Schnitt chose the latter course.

Schnitt Happens.

17 posted on 02/08/2002 7:49:25 AM PST by PJ-Comix
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To: Squantos; Poohbah; Travis McGee; harpseal
Keeping you in the loop...
18 posted on 02/08/2002 7:51:08 AM PST by Lazamataz
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To: PJ-Comix
Pure happenstance.
19 posted on 02/08/2002 7:51:20 AM PST by txhurl
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To: Jim Robinson; John Robinson;
Of all the people on this forum, you two should know about this.
20 posted on 02/08/2002 7:53:42 AM PST by Lazamataz
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