Recovering From Britney
Listen Here! What the hell is this Russia! I still aint recovered from that Britney Spears commercial from the Superbowl where she was acting like an old style singer wearing them butt forming britches. Damn, I done waked up in a cold sweat the last few nights! If that girl gets any hotter she's gonna melt the polar ice caps and drown us all. Good Lord, Jesus, and the shepards. I can't believe she dates that goofy looking pickle sniffer from the Backstreet Boys. Tell me that Lil' skinny sumbitch aint thanking the Lord Jesus every time he wakes up. This is the first Superbowl I was ever at where they had more napkins on the toilet floor they did on the BBQ tray! All the woman was yelling, "What a whore!" and all the fellers was saying, "Git-R-Done!" Then my buddy Dewayne's wife who weighs about a buck eighty looks at him and says, "You think she's pretty?" And of course he buckled and said, "You kidding me? The way your ass jiggles when you walk toward the hot dog platter, why the hell would I want some 19 year old with perky tits and a little ass when I got 7 of em with you all in one clump! Of course that gal's good looking. And if you're a feller and your married and don't think she is than your just trying to keep from sleeping on the couch at the house! I'd drink her bath water! I need to get over this Pepsi commercial cause I aint getting no sleep cause my sheets is looking like a pup tent! God help me! Like a feller said eating BBQ and has sauce on his hands, "Hey, where'd all the paper towels go?"
You Da Man!