TEST YOUR SOUTHERNISM

01/17/01

[SAMWolf]

This test really can't be cheated on... either you know the answers or you don't.

One Yankee only mustered a 2 or 3, whereas the natives typically score around 20+. If you score over 50, you should be living in a trailer park with the Trans Am up on blocks!

Score three points per correct answer. You're given one point to start. Answers follow below, so don't peek.....

1) How many Vienna Sausages are in a can?

2) What was the number and color of Richard Petty's cars?

3) Bill Dance is good at what?

4) What university does Bill Dance root for?

5) Where did Herschel Walker play (college) football?

6) Afterboiling peanuts for an hour you have what?

7) In cubic inches, how big is the smallest 1966 GM small-block V8?

8) A Cajun is likely to speak what furrin' language?

9) What is a chigger?

10) What is scrapple?

11) Where is "The Redneck Riviera"?

12) What's that fuzzy stuff hanging off the oak trees?

13) What follows logically? Johnson, Mercury, ________.

14) What's the common name for a bowfin?

15) If you mated a heifer and a steer, what would you get?

16) Who sang "Your Cheatin' Heart"?

17) What are grits made out of?

18) Who was nicknamed "The Bear"

19) Why is the Blue Ridge blue?

20) What did The Baldwin Sisters make?

21) Who was Andy Taylor's love interest?

22) What are the radio station call letters that carries "The Grand Ol' Opry"?

23) Where would you find Vidalia County?

24) What sport requires 3 legs and a rope?

25) What instrument did Bill Monroe play?(typically)

26) How many strings on a banjo? (two possible answers)

27) When you argue with a fool, what is he doing?

28) What is a scuppernong?

29) Do you want the goats to get into the kudzu?

30) Why do you want to eat "high on the hog"?

31) What color is a John Deere?

32) What do you call the offspring of a mule?

33) What will you harvest when you plant "shade"?

[Lizavetta]

15) If you mated a heifer and a steer, what would you get?

Chelsea Clinton. (If the mumps story on Bubba were true)

[Robert A Cook PE]

"8) A Cajun is likely to speak what furrin' language?(Acadian French)"

Some would argue that English IS a furrin' language west of Baton Rouge ... others (more cruel than I) would point out that a cajun can't even speak their first furrin' language yet.

[SAMWolf]

"Hard peanuts are roasted. One boils peanuts to soften them in brine."

Maybe someone can conform this but I think "Hard Peanuts" may be a localized term for "boiled peanuts".
I've always heard them called them "boiled peanuts".

[nina0113]

8 out of 33. This is embarrasing -- I need to move farther south.

My poor Yankee sweetie - I got 20. You'll do better in time.

[2Trievers]

I think your own SGisms are the BEST!

You don't need no stickin' test!

GTO .... Baaaaaawwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! Meet you on the line with my "C" anyday SG!

[Prodigal Son]

20) What did The Baldwin Sisters make? 20) "The Recipe"

I said moonshine- does that count?

[arly]

Hey Sam that is pretty amusing... maybe you can come up with a quiz to let you know if your a Yankee... here are few sample questions you may use :

1. What state does your father live in ? (if father known)?

2. which is your favorite Ellen Degenres Epsiode?

3. What time of the day does The Rosie O'donnell show come on ?

4 what year did your city pass an ordinance outlawing Christmas Music?

5.which year or decade was the last time you got off the couch and went outdoors for any recreational purposes?

[Uglywhiteguy]

84 for me, no lie.....so that is what a steer is? they all taste the same to me.... Left out: What is a road apple?

[Steve0113]

A few more come to mind:

How many hours has it been since you snarled at a total stranger?

How many of your neighbors are American citizens?

How many of your neighbors are employed?

[twigs]

27) When you argue with a fool, what is he doing? Winning!

[TommyDale]

Careful! Some Yankees are know to get hemorrhoids from squeezing too many brain cells...

[TommyDale]

Are you calling Webb Hubbell a "steer"?

[koba]

Other questions: Who is Muddy Waters? How did the lead singer for the group Mountain die? What kind of cancer did Richard Petty get? Who was the Governer of Georgia before Jimmy Carter? Ross Barnett was the Governer of what state? Name a grocery chain found almost exclusively in the south? What is Southern slang for marijuana? Who was Curtis Loew? What is the Southern name for Bull Run? How did "rednecks" get their name? Name at least two cover versions of the song "Crossroads" by Robert Johnson? Who was considered the greatesr slide guitar player ever? What was considered the best Confederate military unit in the Civil War?

[LiberteeBell]

I got only 58 points despite being a southerner all my life. However, I must admit, I gave myself credit anyway for my answer to this question:

27) When you argue with a fool, what is he doing?

My answer: Askin' for an a$$ kickin'(of course).

[SAMWolf]

What is the Southern name for Bull Run?

First or Second? (Manassas)

[EllaMinnow]

I only got 20, and I'm a Southerner enough to know we don't eat scrapple! Can I get bonus points for knowin' how to make cheese grits so good they'll make your hair stand up?

Forget Alabama - Panama City is the capital of the Redneck Riviera!

[koba]

More questions: Name a former Chancellor/President of Duke that has the same name of a town in North Carolina? Before Jesse Helms became a senator what was his job? Who did Jesse Helms defeat to become a Senator? Who was the only man in history to be able to, from a standing position, touch the top of a basketball backboard and come down the with a quarter that was placed on top of the backboard? What is considered the greatest ACC basketball game ever? What do Alabama football fans chant when their defense is on the field? Why did Joe Namath retire relatively early from football? Which famous professional defensive front line was comprised solely of Southerners? Which music star was once tied up while he was asleep and almost beaten to death with a baseball bat by his wife?

[Lizavetta]

Are you calling Webb Hubbell a "steer"?

No. I'm calling the Toon a steer.

[Ward Smythe]

I got a 43 (jus' like King Richard) and I ain't tellin' the ones I missed...

[Taxman]

Well, we Southren Gennlemen sorta pride ourselves on our Southrenisms! LOL!

I sed I cud blow the doors offn onna them TransAms, not a porch. Iffn I blow the doors offn a porch, the dang washing machine & couch will fall inna dirt! LOL!