[st.smith]

They can quote it and interpret it all they want but unless they're in a position to give practicle advice, relate their experiences and what did and did not work for them the advice is all theory. It's not at all like only women can provide therapy for women or blacks represent blacks, those things are physiological not experiental. It's more like how only cops really understand cops, only people that have served in the military understand what it means to be a soldier. Someone that has never been married cannot understand marriage.

The problem with your theory is that most people do not understand cops as other cops do because they are not familiar with them. However, take for example someone who works closely with police, and yet is not a policeman- say someone who trains them. Are you saying that such a person could not have great insight into what it is to be a cop- better than even many who actually are cops?

[discostu]

People that train cops are cops, but I see what you're getting at. Yes people that know cops well, have gotten into the heads of cops can have an understanding of them well enough to give them cop related advice. But it takes time. People that have known cops for a year or two won't have developed the understanding. People that have known them for a decade or more, they've got the connection. Which is what leaves priests out in the cold. They just aren't getting the exposure to how marriages work. Part of the problem is they never get to hear about the functional marriages, only the ones on the rocks. Most of it though is time. Priests don't spend all day for 10 years hearing about people's marriage problems and how they've dealth with them. They've got other things to do, things other than marriage to advise their parishioner about.