Berserkley Bans Fireplaces

NewsMax ^ | December 28, 2001 | Carl Limbacher and NewsMax.com Staff

[MeekOneGOP]

NewsMax.com

 

Friday, Dec. 28, 2001

Berserkley Bans Fireplaces

The communist outpost of Berserkley, Calif., infamous for its anti-choice stances on flag displays, freedom of the press, capital punishment, the fight against terrorism, ad nauseum, has now declared war on fireplaces.

The city council has banned log-burning fireplaces in new buildings and - the most tragic news of the year for the crackpot college town's snooty sybarites - even attacked those trendy wood-fired pizza ovens spewing the foul fumes of vegan arugula foccaccio.

Jami Caseber, a self-described environmental activist who pushed the ordinance, calls it merely "the first step to controlling or curtailing residential wood burning."

He wanted to crack down on fireplaces already built, but the new law was a compromise with "conservatives," an epithet used in Berserkely to describe non-leftists.

Michael Gersick, a lobbyist for fireplace makers, said his industry clients would support emission limits for fireplaces. "All we really want is a standard to meet," he told the Los Angeles Times.

The fireplace ban, rather than raising "awareness," is a lesson in foolish policy, said Gersick, who lives in the area. "I love the tempest and tumult of Berkeley. But God help you if you want to act responsibly and expect Berkeley to confront a public policy issue using facts."

[Sloth]

Michael Gersick, a lobbyist for fireplace makers, said his industry clients would support emission limits for fireplaces.

What a moron.

"...said Gersick, who lives in the area.

Ahh, that explains it.

[Howie66]

In all seriousness, I'd suspect that the denizens of that intellectually challenged burg probably "get off" to flatulence. Afterall, it is "natural".

[cschroe]

What will they ban next? Indoor flatulence?

Of ocurse not, that's a valuable natural resource. However, look for the Berkeley City Council to outlaw setting your own flatulence on fire with a lighter. Not that I or anyone I know has ever done that.

[bimmer]

Actually, the hippies in Amherst have fun saving the lizards; they built tunnels so that salamanders could cross a busy street.

[doctor noe]

I can envision the Berkeley city council approving an expenditure for Beano...to be distributed monthly to every household within the city limits.

[Focault's Pendulum]

What will they ban next? Indoor flatulence?

How will they record the minutes of the next Town Council meeting if no one is allowed to speak?

[tomakaze]

RE:What will they ban next? Indoor flatulence?

Jeeze, that's one of my hobbies!

[EggsAckley]

You must have a really good gas fireplace, my friends is just for show. Ambiance. You can barely feel any heat from it. It's pathetic. With all the wood carrying and mess, there are times that I think about a gas insert, but then, what if there is no gas? (it would have to be propane for me) Trees, I have!

[Howie66]

Here's a suggestion for the Berkley City Council to consider: A total BAN on procreation in the city limits. The reasoning, of course would be that any birth is a contribution to the already staggering population of Mother Earth. I think that those people should set an example for zero population growth.

[tomakaze]

pellet stoves are cool. and there's the added bonus of not having to deal with any ressurected by indoor heat black and yellow stinging hitchhikers.

[TheErnFormerlyKnownAsBig]

Jersey shore, Monmouth.

Did you know some wonderfull people have come from there? And I was born there also, Ft. Monmouth 1968.

Berkely should just secede and make it on their own. Which begs the question, can we make them secede?

[Robert_Paulson2]

No more "wood fired" pizzas in Berkeley... they are part of an environmental crisis... I guess that means no more vegan pizzas for americas illiterati elites... ROFL... Absolutely priceless.

Rush was right... lefties really do go berserko when they are out of power...

[INSENSITIVE GUY]

Boy are these people crazy or what!It really gripes me when a handful of people tell the majority what to do.Gripes me even more when the majority let them do it.

[Focault's Pendulum]

Did you know some wonderfull people have come from there?

Yep...I'm not one of them.

[Focault's Pendulum]

Here's a suggestion for the Berkley City Council to consider: A total BAN on procreation in the city limits.

Good idea but I would rather have them declared a renewable resource, and use them in my wood burner.

[Boxsford]

"..the smell, feel,and beauty of burning wood occupies a holy place in the human psyche...."

The smoke from our wood burning fireplace used to whiff it's way across the street to our early rising dairy farmer. He'd remark on how much he enjoyed it. The problem with those Berkley folks is they've robbed themselves of those things that bless the soul.

[DWSUWF]

"...This is funny. Back in the 70s and 80s, I heated my house with wood for a number of years. All the greenies at the time were heavily promoting wood-burning as an alternative to electricity, gas and oil, since wood is a renewable resource..."

Good Mother Earth News point!

Don't expect consistency from this crowd though, they are at heart perverse contrarions, determined to destroy every tradition, every established and settled truth, that they can.

The only thing that works, quickly and every time, to show a leftist stooge the error of its ways is -ironically- a piece of firewood.

I'll leave you to imagine the details regarding precisely how the firewood is employed...

[brewcrew]

I do have a "fake" fireplace, gas. Nice thing about it, flip a switch to turn it on and off! Plus no log pile, no spliting wood, and no clean up!

Ah, but you're missing the point. Ben Franklin once said that a man who splits his own firewood is twice warmed. Splitting and stacking your own firewood is almost Zen-like. In the 8 plus years I've had a fireplace, I've never paid a penny for firewood. I'm a scavenger.

Wood fires touch something primal in all of us. We call it "caveman TV."

[Helms]

I'm on my second 1/2 cord of oak and hickory. Makes for a beautiful and restful atmosphere, not to mention the crackling.

[Psycho_Bunny]

Yes, the most peace I've found in my life is sitting on the beach in Humboldt county (where, frequently, you're the only person within eye-shot) next to a fire made of driftwood, watching the fog roll in over the waves.

The scene is perfect but, it's that fire that clinches it. You can just sit there for hours and hours. And if you're there with a friend...ya.