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Dying boy, 15, gets wish: losing virginity
Chicago Sun Times ^ | 12/23/01 | BY BENJAMIN ERRETT

Posted on 12/23/2001 6:26:24 AM PST by Mopp4

A terminally ill boy had his dying wish granted in Australia this month, but ethicists are still at odds over whether it was the right thing to do.
The wish was not for a trip to Disneyland or to meet a famous sports star. Instead, the 15-year-old wanted to lose his virginity before he died of cancer. The boy, who remains anonymous but was called Jack by the Australian media, did not want his parents to know about his request. Because of his many years spent in the hospital, he had no girlfriend or female friends.
Jack died last week, but not before having his last wish granted. Without the knowledge of his parents or hospital staff, friends arranged an encounter with a prostitute outside of hospital premises. All precautions were taken, and the organizers made sure the act was fully consensual. The issue has sparked fierce debate over the legal and ethical implications of granting the boy's request. By law, Jack was still a child, and the woman involved could in theory face charges for having sex with a minor. The debate was sparked by the hospital's child psychologist, who wrote a letter to "Life Matters," a radio show in which academics debate ethical and moral dilemmas. The scenario was presented in the abstract, with no details about the boy's identity.

"He had been sick for quite a long period, and his schooling was very disrupted, so he hadn't had many opportunities to acquire and retain friends, and his access to young women was pretty poor," the psychologist said recently in an interview with Australia's Daily Telegraph newspaper. "But he was very interested in young women and was experiencing that surge of testosterone that teenage boys have." Hospital staff initially wanted to pool donations to pay for a prostitute, but the ethical and legal implications prevented them from doing so. The psychologist presented members of the clergy with the dilemma and found no clear answer. "It really polarized them," he said. "About half said, 'What's your problem?' And the other half said [it] demeans women and reduces the sexual act to being just a physical one."

Dr. Stephen Leeder, dean of medicine at the University of Sydney and a "Life Matters" panelist, said the issue was a difficult one. "I pointed out that public hospitals operated under the expectation that they would abide by state law," he said. "While various things doubtless are done that are at the edge of that, it's important the public has confidence that the law will be followed." Jack's psychologist, who works with children in palliative care, said the desire was driven in part by a need for basic human contact. "In a child dying over a long period of time, there is often a condition we call 'skin hunger,'" he said. The terminally ill child yearns for non-clinical contact because "mostly when people touch them, it's to do something unpleasant, something that might hurt." Leeder called the diagnosis "improbable." Judy Lumby, the show's other panelist and the executive director of the New South Wales College of Nursing, argued that the details as presented made it abundantly clear the boy's wish ought to be granted. "I said that I would try my darndest as a nurse to do whatever I could to make sure his wish came true," she said. "I just think we are so archaic in the way we treat people in institutions. Certainly, if any of my three daughters were dying, I'd do whatever I could, and I'm sure that you would, too." National Post


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To: garbanzo
I should write only when fully awake - that should read - we have to set group limits because as a matter of law we can't set individual limits. That being said, it isn't necessarily wrong for an individual (purely on ethical rather than legal grounds) to behave in a particular way considering the totality of the circumstance.
641 posted on 12/25/2001 9:08:36 AM PST by garbanzo
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To: FITZ
We're talking about different things here - you're talking legalities - I'm talking ethics and practicalities. The issue is complicated because the caregivers have ethical responsibilities to the patient while the parents have legal and ethical obligations to their child and those two don't obligations don't always coincide. Ideally it should be always worked out - but that doesn't always work.

For example, courts have ordered medical treatment of children against the wishes of parents - even non-immediate life-threatening care. While it would be a stretch to consider getting a boy a hooker a medical treatment, it isn't clear-cut that the potential objections of parents need to be fully considered as final. As I keep pointing out - this isn't a business dispute between the owners of a car and a mechanic.

642 posted on 12/25/2001 9:17:52 AM PST by garbanzo
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To: Sungirl
I understand why teenagers have been getting pregnant. And it seems like there is no chance its every going to change with these attitudes.

The old glass is partly empty, huh?
You people would dry up and blow away if the world was full of perfect people.
I would rather celebrate the vast majority of girls who don't get pregnant.
I suppose we all dwell on what satisfies our obsessions.

643 posted on 12/25/2001 10:54:53 AM PST by Publius6961
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To: NAMMARINE
Reading the anti christian posts here we are further down the road to damnation than i thought

Even St Paul had a better understanding, and he had traveled all roads.

644 posted on 12/25/2001 10:58:31 AM PST by Publius6961
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To: Sungirl
DO you think casual sex is ok for everyone or just people who are on their deathbeds?

If this really intersts you you could start another thread and see how many responses you get.
I would guess not as many as this one.

If you are simply determined to avoid the specific subject of this thread, it's not working, is it.

645 posted on 12/25/2001 11:42:06 AM PST by Publius6961
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To: Sungirl
I am shocked because I know how important it is for the 'grown-ups' to set examples even if it is just words.

When a child faces death all that becomes academic.
There's a time and purpose for all things under heaven.

Even the best of rules have a purpose.
My God is not whimsical or arbitrary.

When the purpose of the rule disappears, of what use its the rule?
Of what use would the prohibition of murder be if the world has just one person in it?

What part of a purposeless restriction evades you?

646 posted on 12/25/2001 11:57:49 AM PST by Publius6961
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To: Sungirl
I didn't realize this poor kid on his deathbed was self-sufficient. My mistake.

Great view of life and of philosophy.
Children as pets...

647 posted on 12/25/2001 12:00:32 PM PST by Publius6961
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To: Doc On The Bay
"...It is a KINDNESS to grant him this "Experience!"..."

I don't believe that you don't realize that there are those who would regard such a thing as anything but 'a kindness'.

Granted, you would disagree with them...

As they disagree with you.

648 posted on 12/25/2001 1:26:33 PM PST by DWSUWF
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To: Publius6961
"Without the prospect of a future physical life, all of the reasons to instill restraint, discipline, knowledge and judgement become moot...." You don't understand the reason and purpose of life do you? "With the prospect of an ETERNAL future life, all of the reasons to instill restraint, discipline, knowledge and judgement become THE ONLY REASON FOR LIFE."
649 posted on 12/25/2001 3:28:20 PM PST by Robert A Cook PE
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To: Publius6961
Publius6961 member since December 17th, 1999

Location: Stockton, CA
E-mail: publius6961@hotmail.com
Professional experience in Civil Engineering.
Interests/hobbies: Art, Photography, Astronomy, Science, Philosophy, Art, Geography, History, Travel. Vices: Reading and (adult) girls.

Your vices include adult girls? This explains alot.

650 posted on 12/25/2001 4:04:19 PM PST by Sungirl
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Comment #651 Removed by Moderator

To: SeferKoheleth
Drink and post often??

Couldn't follow your full train of thought here... Repost sober please.

652 posted on 12/26/2001 7:37:21 AM PST by LowOiL
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To: The_Reader_David
"The Fathers warn us to attend to our own repentence. Christ warns us that we will be judged with the judgement with which we judge. "

Folk writing condemnations of the unfortunate young man from across the Pacific in an electronic forum do nothing to improve morals sexual or otherwise in New South Wales and do not offer the young man either correction, a route to repentence or consolation in his suffering. I fear they do little but heap condemnation on themselves.

A lie paralyzed the Church: "Judge Not"

To abhor evil, someone must first judge evil. God instructs men against "hypocrisy" commanding them to "abhor what is evil" (Rom. 12:9). Thus, unable to judge, and unaccustomed to abhorrence, Christians en masse become hypocrites when they obey the Hypocrites Golden Rule. For "judge not" (Mat. 7:1-5) is simply a hypocrites application of do unto others as you would have them do unto you (Mat. 7:12). "For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged" (Mat. 7:2). Judge others as you would have them do unto you inverted is Judge not if you do not want to be judged. Therefore the hypocrite does not judge. As Jesus said, "Judge not… you hypocrite" (Mat. 7:1, 5 KJV; Ezek. 16:52).

The Hypocrites Golden Rule : Judge not if you do not want to be judged.



Some people are ashamed of the Bible. Some people try to convert it so they can hide and not have to defend it. I am not ashamed that the Bible says Adultery IS SIN. I refuse to deny the Bible says this, I refuse to let so-called Christians get away with trying to hush me from saying the Truth. One will be judged for being ashamed of Bible too. "Judge Not" is one of the biggest lies around.

"Judge Rightly" is what Christians should practise, not hiding under a rock and scared to utter a word against sin because they are afraid of the backlash against themselves (not ten suggestions BTW).

Click "HERE" for more on the subject please

653 posted on 12/26/2001 8:29:22 AM PST by LowOiL
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To: SeferKoheleth
Read the above post please.
654 posted on 12/26/2001 8:30:21 AM PST by LowOiL
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To: youngjim
I 'dunno. Maybe things have changed. I know for a lot of 15- year-old boys, back then, the biggest thing was 'farts', not 'girls'! :-)
655 posted on 12/26/2001 8:36:23 AM PST by AmericanInTokyo
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To: SeferKoheleth
Shouldn't you have infinate mercy rather than cast the first stone? Does not your conception of G-d have infinite mercy and forgiveness (well, except for the billions of unconsecrated heathens he damns for all eternity- snicker)? Do you hold yourselves higher than G-d?

Well mister Snicker... Lets do some research, you are sure in need of it...

Click "HERE" : "Are Today's Christians nicer than God?" Yep...

656 posted on 12/26/2001 8:43:19 AM PST by LowOiL
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To: Lowelljr
I must confess as one who tries (with wretched sinful inefficiency) to conform his mind to the mind of the Fathers of the Church, which is the mind of Christ, I am underwhelmed by the contents of the link you provide to some neo-protestant "Bible-scholar" 's website.

How does your condemnation of the young man improve morals in New South Wales, correct him, call him to repentence or console him in his suffering, which in the context of today's lax morals lead him to fall into sin? Any of these might be worthwhile endeavours, but vicarious condemnation in an electronic forum unread by either the young man or any close to him seems to be simply a sign of spiritual pride.

Let us each attend to our own repentence, and pray for him and for his family.

657 posted on 12/26/2001 7:38:59 PM PST by The_Reader_David
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To: The_Reader_David
Let us each attend to our own repentence, and pray for him and for his family.

I'm all for the above, just I wish to call something that is a sin, a sin.

Peace...to you, and Happy New Year.

658 posted on 12/26/2001 8:49:25 PM PST by LowOiL
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To: dennisw
That's probably what the liberals were concerned about most..
659 posted on 05/05/2002 7:50:12 PM PDT by codebreaker
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To: Dan from Michigan
If it was the young man's dying wish and choice, I would approve. Me too. It seems awfully odd to judge this teenager's choice. He knew he was dying. He knew he'd never have the chance to grow older, have a girlfriend or get married. Ever. It's only human to wish to experience this. Of COURSE he didn't want his parents to know. Who wants their parents to know they even THINK about sex at that age? I'm 38 and married and I certainly don't chat with my mother about my sex life. :)
660 posted on 08/28/2009 8:59:22 PM PDT by TheFilter
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