I agree, but you're taking the rare (as in the truly miserable, i.e. abusive) and assigning it the norm.
If people make their choices to marry poorly in the first place, chances are, the majority of them will make a poor choice in the second, third, ....place, too. Maybe if they were held more seriously accountable by society for their choices, the trend to wisely consider before committing oneself to such a challenging and daunting relationship as marriage, would increase.
There is actually a large societal pressure to marry and stay married.
Sorry, I totally don't see that. Where do you? On television? No. In Music? No. Movies? No. The local clubs or bars? Nope. Even (in many) churches? Nope. I'm not meaning to be flippant, but if you see this I would appreciate being directed to the source.
"Everyone has to make that call for themselves." Of course they do. But that doesn't deny that there IS a right and a wrong, or a good and an evil choice.
Well, it makes the discovery of "right and wrong" pretty darn subjective, then.
No, a solid right and wrong always exists, accepted or not. It makes whether or not the person will be subjective TO the right or wrong, the discovery that is made.
At the end of their lives, should I feel happy for them that they stuck it out in an unhappy relationship, rather than broke free and found something better? I find it hard to get excited about the former.
So do I. But I also find it hard to get excited about those that go from one failed marriage to another and another, leaving a collection of unhappy lives (especially children, who are learning well these patterns) in their wake, as they follow their quest to discover the "better" that may be available to them. Better they just decide not to get involved with anyone until they can figure themselves out first. It's true, that has to be and can only be, decided by the individual. But because the results of their choices do not stop with the effects on them alone, society should take a more serious stand on the value of this basic and foundationally important commitment.
On a lighter note: Hope you have very happy holidays!
That's pretty pessimistic. :-) Actually I don't think it is true on average. On the other hand, you seem to be saying, no matter how unhappy you are, stay there, because we can't guarantee you happiness elsewhere. Perhaps you shouldn't be asking me this. Perhaps you should seek out friends and relatives who've been divorced and see if they now view their first divorce and second marriage as a mistake. It is not my impression that very many want to go back to spouse #1.
"There is actually a large societal pressure to marry and stay married."
Sorry, I totally don't see that. Where do you? On television? No. In Music? No. Movies? No. The local clubs or bars? Nope. Even (in many) churches? Nope. I'm not meaning to be flippant, but if you see this I would appreciate being directed to the source.
I can't believe you don't feel (haven't felt) the pressure from relatives to get married, have kids, etc. Obviously friends and family have the most influence on us.
society should take a more serious stand on the value of this basic and foundationally important commitment.
Just what sort of enforcement or regulation are you referring to?