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WHY DIVORCE IS SO PREVALENT: The #1 Answer To Society's #1 Problem
Toogood Reports ^ | Uncertain | Unknown

Posted on 12/14/2001 3:21:12 PM PST by Dr. Octagon

WASHINGTON, D.C — One of the messiest areas of the law is divorce and child custody cases.

"Legal Notebook" guest, Stephen Baskerville, says that fathers are more often than not treated no better than criminals. Baskerville is a professor of political science at Howard University in Washington DC, and a spokesman for Men, Fathers and Children International.

Host Tom Jipping said to Baskerville, "In some of your writing, I´ve seen a contrast between fatherhood and fathers, particularly in terms of things that the government does. We see a lot of public relations talk about supporting fatherhood, and then, of course, you do a lot of writing as to the way fathers are treated. Distinguish fatherhood versus fathers."

Baskerville said, "It´s an important distinction. Fatherhood has become a buzzword for the government. Increasingly there is awareness of the importance of fathers -- I think it´s reaching general knowledge that fathers are important to children, that many social pathologies – most social pathologies today – result from fatherless homes, fatherless children. And the fathers are very important not only for the upbringing of their children, but for our social order as well."

Jipping said, "To me, some of the most interesting newer work in that area, not just kind of divorce generally, or broken homes sort of generally, but specifically fatherless homes -- that to me is some of the most interesting social science research that´s been done -- and not just by what you might consider conservative activists or something. There are lots of folks at your prestigious universities that are coming to the same conclusion."

Baskerville noted, "That´s right. What´s not being realized, though, is what the cause of this problem is. The assumption that is often unstated is that the fathers have abandoned or deserted their children. This is almost never the case. There´s no solid evidence whatever that large numbers of fathers in this country are simply abandoning their children. There is very solid evidence that fathers are being thrown out of the family systematically by family court, primarily."

Jipping asked, "Do fatherless homes also result from marriages not taking place – is the family simply not forming, while the mothers have the kids and the kids just stay with the mom?

Baskerville answered, "That´s true. And those cases are much more difficult to document when there´s never been a marriage in the first place. But even in those cases, most of those fathers have court orders either regulating when they can see their children, or ordering them to stay away from their children altogether."

Jipping asked, "Is there specific research on what portion of the broken homes, or the fatherless homes, result from these different causes, whether it´s [that] simply no family forms in the first place, fathers abandon their children, or the category we´re talking about here, which is intervention by family courts and fathers being ordered out of the home."

Baskerville stated, "Well, if there´s a marriage, then there is documentation -- we know who files for the divorce. And in most cases, when children are involved, it´s almost always the mother, two-thirds to three-quarters of the time. So in those cases, we have solid documentation that fathers very seldom voluntarily divorce when their children are involved. For the non-married cases, it is difficult to document. But there´s no reason to assume these fathers love their children any less. If you talk to those fathers many of them will tell you -- almost all of them will tell you -- that they desperately want to be with their children and to be active parents, and they are forcibly kept away."

Jipping mentioned an article he read in the Washington Times, on September 19, of an author, Judith Wallerstein, PhD who has been studying the effects of divorce, and has a new book out, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, a 25 year study, documenting what divorce does to family and children.

Baskerville said, "I think we´ve been denying this for many years now, that divorce is, in fact, harmful for children. I don´t think there´s any question. In many ways, divorce is kind of a conspiracy of grown-ups against children. And this is especially the case when it´s only one of the parents who want the divorce."

Jipping asked Baskerville if he agrees with the author of the book that at the time of the divorce itself, it´s really about problems and the effects that that has on the mothers and the fathers. But, the effects on the children are much, much more long-term and occur decades later.

Baskerville agreed, "Absolutely. For a child, the most terrifying thing is to lose a parent; the fear of losing a parent is horrible for a child. And also by the institution of forced divorce, we´re sending a lot of very harmful and destructive messages to children. We´re showing children that the family and the state are in effect dictatorships, in which children can be ripped apart from their parents for no reason, or for any reason, and they don´t have to have done anything wrong, or their parents don´t have to [have done anything wrong]."

Jipping asked, "We hear the phrase ‘no-fault divorce´ is that what you mean by forced divorce – is that what that becomes?"

Baskerville replied, "Absolutely. This was this deception that was brought [with] no-fault divorce. The idea was that this would be for mutual agreement -- you could have a divorce without a contest. What, in fact, it has become is [what is known as] unilateral divorce. And 80% of the divorces in this country are unilateral. They are over the objections of one parent. And that becomes even more when children are involved."

Jipping questioned, "So, does no-fault divorce really mean, under the state laws that govern the stuff, a divorce by only one of the two spouses for whatever reason that spouse chooses, not specified reasons?"

Baskerville said, "Overwhelmingly that´s true. And what´s even more shocking is that the parent that divorces is almost always the parent who expects to get custody of the children. A study by the University of Iowa found that the expectation of getting the children was the single most important factor in deciding who files for divorce."


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Front Page News
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To: FITZ
My first wife died from complications of child birth. I raised our child by myself from 3 days old to a little over three years old. It gives one an interesting persepective.
301 posted on 12/16/2001 3:02:55 AM PST by pcl
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To: pcl
Did you face societal non-acceptance as a single father? I hope not.
302 posted on 12/16/2001 3:08:45 AM PST by Dr. Octagon
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To: RIGHT IN SEATTLE
I left, AND LEFT THEM WITH THE TAB.

With men like you, it is no surprise the divorce rate is so high.

303 posted on 12/16/2001 3:14:31 AM PST by pcl
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To: Dr. Octagon
LOL. NOt by a long shot. I'm in Seatown. A new addition, but I'm "rightist" to some extent.
304 posted on 12/16/2001 3:26:09 AM PST by Skywalk
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To: Skywalk
Last time I was in Seattle on a business trip, I could not help but note that the bookstores were very geared to certain interests usually not marketed to in most towns. I don't share those interests...
305 posted on 12/16/2001 3:34:34 AM PST by Dr. Octagon
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To: Dr. Octagon
Did you face societal non-acceptance as a single father?

The women in the baby care classes, the park groups, Gymsters, etc were generally accepting and helpful in the group settings. A few of their husbands were less than pleased about them socializing with a man. The hardest social issue for me was being in the middle of "girl talk." I would organize father/child events just keep my sanity. Even that was made difficult by my knowing more than I wanted to know about some of the Dads as a result of the "girl talk."

306 posted on 12/16/2001 3:38:14 AM PST by pcl
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To: Dr. Octagon
Question: "Why Divorce is so prevalent?"

Answer: European society has dis-integrated. Demos has been in control for the last 220 years. The other two essential elements in our society e.g. the warriors and the priest as effective forces have gone away. Demos philosophy is based upon eating, drinking, copulating and snoring. Since those who are able have gone away Demos has been on a 220 year romp. It has been busy fullfilling the aforementioned desires.Very destructive isn't it? When the inevitable chaos ensues the "Teacher" will come. Demos will be whipped back into its appropriate role-producing. Its betters will run things again. Rank will be restored and our social ills will be reduced.

307 posted on 12/16/2001 3:39:35 AM PST by HENRYADAMS
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To: itgirl
Wow, I am sorry you went thru all that.
308 posted on 12/16/2001 4:13:52 AM PST by RedBloodedAmerican
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To: HENRYADAMS
BUMP
309 posted on 12/16/2001 4:14:09 AM PST by Dr. Octagon
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To: Viva La Homeschool
Wrong reply. You missed it.
310 posted on 12/16/2001 4:14:42 AM PST by RedBloodedAmerican
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To: pcl
Yep.
311 posted on 12/16/2001 4:14:58 AM PST by Dr. Octagon
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To: Sueann
When husbands take their place in the relationship, the wife always responds in the most positive way.

Sorry Sueann. I have to flatly deny this claim. Been there...done that.

BTW I also have to disagree with your pastor. There is no textual evidence that Adam was physically present when Eve ate the fruit. It may or may not be inferred, but there is no positive textual proof of it.

312 posted on 12/16/2001 5:43:35 AM PST by Woahhs
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To: pcl
My friend whose ex-wife lost the house, went bankrupt and gave up custody, suddenly found himself raising a pre-teen daughter and faced with having to take her to find bras and the rest. He didn't have a mother or sisters to take on those "duties" but I think he's done pretty well.
313 posted on 12/16/2001 6:46:58 AM PST by FITZ
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To: Dr. Octagon
Lawyers are the #1 cause of divorce.

There's a .97 correlation coefficient between the number of lawyers in the U.S. and the number of divorces. There's now 1 lawyer for every 96 people in the U.S. There are more lawyer ads in the San Diego phone book yellow pages than any other category, even restaurants.

314 posted on 12/16/2001 6:55:43 AM PST by Z-28
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To: Dr. Octagon
What are you asking us/me specifically? I'm unsure of what to reply to.
315 posted on 12/16/2001 9:31:52 AM PST by wwjdn
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To: FITZ
raising a pre-teen daughter and faced with having to take her to find bras and the rest.

I am thankful that my daughter's stepmother accepted Becky as her own, homeschooled her when homeschooling was not a fad and helped her get through those difficult pre-teen and teen years when a girl very much needs a female role model.

316 posted on 12/16/2001 11:45:32 AM PST by pcl
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To: Woahhs
No evidence? It says "she gave to Adam and he did eat" - which means he was standing right there. One thing I have learned is that the Bible can be discerned as much by what is said, as by what is not said. It doesn't say, Eve went to Adam and he did eat - it says she gave - which has to indicate he was there.

Most people don't want to see this because they don't want the implication of being responsible for what happened; it's just so much easier to blame the woman!!

And ... my Pastor IS RIGHT ON!!!

317 posted on 12/16/2001 2:25:47 PM PST by Sueann
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To: Smokin' Joe
What a great reply. I have saved your message and will print it out everytime a friend says, "how do I know if the guy is right for me?"

My current interest did okay until we got to #10. I'm a Christian conservative, he's a Catholic liberal. I guess I need to face that reality real quick!

318 posted on 12/16/2001 2:36:59 PM PST by Sueann
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Comment #319 Removed by Moderator

To: Dr. Octagon
Marriage is not a contract between two people.

Marriage is more a contract between a couple and their society.

When you think about reasons for divorce, think about society as much as the couple.

320 posted on 12/16/2001 2:49:58 PM PST by Age of Reason
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