Afghanistan Not to Participate 2002 Winter Olympic Games

XINHUA NEWS | 12/11/01

[kattracks]

LAUSANNE, Switzerland, Dec 11, 2001 (Xinhua via COMTEX) -- Afghanistan will not send athletes to the 2002 Olympic Winter Games in Salt Lake City, said F. Carrad, Director-General of the International Olympic Committee (IOC) at a press briefing here on Tuesday.

He said that since the National Olympic Committee in Afghan has been suspended and the situation in the country has been changed greatly, IOC is not planning to send people to Kabul.

But he added that IOC will follow the situation there closely and are waiting for the right time to help Afghanistan to come back to Olympic Games.

The Executive Board of IOC are meeting here from Tuesday to Thursday and they will receive the last report of the Organizing Committee for the Olympic Winter Games in Salt Lake City and will hear the progress made by the Organizing committee for the 2004 Olympic Games in Athens.

Copyright 2001 XINHUA NEWS AGENCY

[anniegetyourgun]

This is a joke, right?

[Semper Paratus]

I guess the Olympic Commitee decided that Gun Running is not a sport.

[hellinahandcart]

Damn. And I was really looking forward to the performance of their Ladies Figure Skating team...

[TontoKowalski]

It just won't be the same without the Afghan ice dancers' classic performance, "Another One Bites the Dust."

[Dog Gone]

Thanks for this shocking report.

[TontoKowalski]

Haha! Same wavelength!

[billorites]

Too bad.

They were favored to win both freestyle fleeing as well as die-athalon.

[kattracks]

I will miss their cross country skiers, who I hear have taken to cross country running.

[anniegetyourgun]

It takes great skill to do a triple lutz in a burqua. One false move and you're a gonner.

[cibco]

I thought they had already started their "Winter Games". Seems to be more entertaining than the other ones.

[smith288]

What about their sport request of headless goat soccer all the kids are talking about over there? Arent they considering on adding that to the Olympics?

[eleni121]

Well, maybe they could come as participants in the opium dealers convention and distribute some souvenirs.

[CholeraJoe]

Just wait till the Summer games in '04. They're gonna have a kickass landmine dodging relay team!

[AUgrad]

The only team they could field would be the three legged minefield , no, two legged, no one legged minefield race, wait, I see now. Afghanistan will not participate in the games.

[xzins]

Maybe the new event...darn, what's it called...oh yeah -- Civilian Shoot. Maybe they'll enter that. I understand that, with the rest of the Islamic world, they have plenty of young warriors with courage enough to shoot unsuspecting, innocent civilians. Extra points for small children and women.

Arabs sure to take the gold in this new event.

[Sir Clancelot]

The Afghani Pentathalon.

1. Race your team in a Toyota pickup two kilometers.

2. Jump out of the truck, fire a shoulder mounted rocket at a mock up of the Statue of Liberty one kilometer away.

(Sounds easy, but loudspeakers blare God Bless America to try to throw you off)

3. Bow down to Mecca, say a prayer, and jump back in the truck.

4. Drive another two kilometers in the truck. Overhead, several B52s drop Daisy Cutter bombs, while A-10 Warthogs fire 4000 rounds a minute at you.

5. To win, you must get into the caves, but 1000 green berets await your arrival 100 yards from the entrance. Above them is the American Flag which flew over ground zero. Nothing in their expression reveals the "lazy American look" Osama has told you about.

6. Get into the cave, you win the gold medal, get stopped by these green berets, you get to give your life for your cause.

[hellinahandcart]

Yes, but that final spin, which transforms the burqa into a perfect cylinder, is worth the price of admission.

[hellinahandcart]

Those ladies would break Midori Ito's record for skating into walls.

[hobblemaster]

Afganistan has athletes? I bet their Ice Running team was great.