Posted on 12/10/2001 10:27:30 AM PST by Sir Gawain
And that's the opinion I have about Deborah Marie Pulaski after reading this article. In her own words, she laments: "I've done all I could. I tried, even though most of what I did turned out to be misguided and ineffective." How sad to see a 53 year old woman with only one year to live living in a fantasy world. She talks incessantly about freedom, yet seems intent on wasting her final days lamenting the possible loss of freedom at some unknowable future date, instead of appreciating and taking advantage of the freedom she has to do what she wants and to be what she wants to be. She has divided the world into THEY and US. THEY are the invisible monsters working to enslave people on a daily basis. THEY are the ones who make so many rules that prevent her and her immature daughter from having a better job, a better house or a better life. Life is so miserable because of THEM.
She talks about freedom, but fails to understand that the one freedom she doesn't have is the freedom from her neuroses. All of us hold the ultimate key to freedom that people like Deb Pulaski cannot achieve. That is to say, the freedom from emotions, such as bitterness, fear, greed, resentment, jealousy, envy, anger, selfishness and negativity. These emotions are the chains that bind us to the wheel of slavery; they are the prisons we choose to live inside, in the words of Doris Lessing.
Deb Pulaski's world is a world of shadowy conspiracies in which THEY -- the faceless, nameless enemies of freedom -- live solely for the pleasure of taking away freedom from Deb, her wannabe Martian daughter and the rest of us poor souls for whom life isn't worth living. After all, we are being groomed for slavery, as she says: "And what's all this about? Is it really to help "welfare moms" or to keep illegal immigrants from taking other people's jobs? Oh, c'mon! This is about one thing. It's about slavery."
She looks down on politicians and "powerful" people who enjoy making and enforcing rules " . . . for the power. For the control. For their other powerful, controlling friends. So they can all feel important and be in charge." She equates power with the ability and desire to rob others of freedom, yet she laments her own lack of power: "God, I wish I were a writer like you or a great orator or a wizard about the law or something like that. I wish I could have done something big during my life. But you know me, I was never anything but a little precinct worker, a drone, a little deputy voter registrar, doorbeller, meeting attender, envelope licker."
Passages like these are quite revealing. She despises those who "feel important and in charge," yet thinks of herself as "little" because she didn't feel important and in charge. She congratulates herself for her altruistic and modest ambitions: "Just wanting to make the world freer - or at least keep a little bit of the world away from the people who want to make it less free." But she feels cheated because she didn't have the power to achieve even her small goals.
As I read her mournful account of her unfulfilled life in which she craves not for love but for freedom, I was struck by her superficial understanding of what it means to be truly free. "I wanted her to have the chance to try anything her wild little imagination could dream up. Maybe she'd fail. But maybe she'd succeed." For Deb and her daughter Edyie, freedom means the ability to do anything they want to do, including the ability to live on Mars. Last time I checked, the illusive THEY and THEIR rules weren't stopping them from going to Mars, unless she expects THEY are obligated to build the rocket ships and transform the Martian environment into a livable habitat . . . just because Edyie wants to live there. THEY "hate freedom"
For Deb, getting married, having children and a good job are shallow, mundane things that are not even worth talking about. Her daughter Pat wants these things and Deb has nothing but contempt for her and her dreams. She respects her daughter Edyie's dreams of going to Mars and presumably shares her resentment towards THEM who did nothing to make her dreams a reality. She is proud that "she [Edyie] won't bring a child into a country like this one is becoming." But Pat will have children… and oh my God! Let's hope they are at least like their aunt Edyie please Lord, don't let them be like their mother. ". . . I hope they'll be as stubborn and freethinking as their Aunt Edyie. Let their lives be worth something deep and true, not just the 'worth' of good livestock or laborers."
Yes, working for a living amounts to slavery. Such shallow life, how sad indeed!
"When I converse with the freest of my neighbors, I perceive that, whatever they may say about the magnitude and seriousness of the question, and their regard for the public tranquillity, the long and the short of the matter is, that they cannot spare the protection of the existing government, and they dread the consequences to their property and families of disobedience to it. For my own part, I should not like to think that I ever rely on the protection of the State. But, if I deny the authority of the State when it presents its tax bill, it will soon take and waste all my property, and so harass me and my children without end. This is hard. This makes it impossible for a man to live honestly, and at the same time comfortably, in outward respects. It will not be worth the while to accumulate property; that would be sure to go again. You must hire or squat somewhere, and raise but a small crop, and eat that soon. You must live within yourself, and depend upon yourself always tucked up and ready for a start, and not have many affairs. A man may grow rich in Turkey even, if he will be in all respects a good subject of the Turkish government. Confucius said: "If a state is governed by the principles of reason, poverty and misery are subjects of shame; if a state is not governed by the principles of reason, riches and honors are subjects of shame." No: until I want the protection of Massachusetts to be extended to me in some distant Southern port, where my liberty is endangered, or until I am bent solely on building up an estate at home by peaceful enterprise, I can afford to refuse allegiance to Massachusetts, and her right to my property and life. It costs me less in every sense to incur the penalty of disobedience to the State than it would to obey. I should feel as if I were worth less in that case.
"Some years ago, the State met me in behalf of the Church, and commanded me to pay a certain sum toward the support of a clergyman whose preaching my father attended, but never I myself. "Pay," it said, "or be locked up in the jail." I declined to pay. But, unfortunately, another man saw fit to pay it. I did not see why the schoolmaster should be taxed to support the priest, and not the priest the schoolmaster; for I was not the State's schoolmaster, but I supported myself by voluntary subscription. I did not see why the lyceum should not present its tax bill, and have the State to back its demand, as well as the Church. However, as the request of the selectmen, I condescended to make some such statement as this in writing: "Know all men by these presents, that I, Henry Thoreau, do not wish to be regarded as a member of any society which I have not joined." This I gave to the town clerk; and he has it. The State, having thus learned that I did not wish to be regarded as a member of that church, has never made a like demand on me since; though it said that it must adhere to its original presumption that time. If I had known how to name them, I should then have signed off in detail from all the societies which I never signed on to; but I did not know where to find such a complete list.
"I have paid no poll tax for six years. I was put into a jail once on this account, for one night; and, as I stood considering the walls of solid stone, two or three feet thick, the door of wood and iron, a foot thick, and the iron grating which strained the light, I could not help being struck with the foolishness of that institution which treated my as if I were mere flesh and blood and bones, to be locked up. I wondered that it should have concluded at length that this was the best use it could put me to, and had never thought to avail itself of my services in some way. I saw that, if there was a wall of stone between me and my townsmen, there was a still more difficult one to climb or break through before they could get to be as free as I was. I did nor for a moment feel confined, and the walls seemed a great waste of stone and mortar. I felt as if I alone of all my townsmen had paid my tax. They plainly did not know how to treat me, but behaved like persons who are underbred. In every threat and in every compliment there was a blunder; for they thought that my chief desire was to stand the other side of that stone wall. I could not but smile to see how industriously they locked the door on my meditations, which followed them out again without let or hindrance, and they were really all that was dangerous. As they could not reach me, they had resolved to punish my body; just as boys, if they cannot come at some person against whom they have a spite, will abuse his dog. I saw that the State was half-witted, that it was timid as a lone woman with her silver spoons, and that it did not know its friends from its foes, and I lost all my remaining respect for it, and pitied it.
"Thus the state never intentionally confronts a man's sense, intellectual or moral, but only his body, his senses. It is not armed with superior with or honesty, but with superior physical strength. I was not born to be forced. I will breathe after my own fashion. Let us see who is the strongest. What force has a multitude? They only can force me who obey a higher law than I. They force me to become like themselves. I do not hear of men being forced to live this way or that by masses of men. What sort of life were that to live? When I meet a government which says to me, "Your money our your life," why should I be in haste to give it my money? It may be in a great strait, and not know what to do: I cannot help that. It must help itself; do as I do. It is not worth the while to snivel about it. I am not responsible for the successful working of the machinery of society. I am not the son of the engineer. I perceive that, when an acorn and a chestnut fall side by side, the one does not remain inert to make way for the other, but both obey their own laws, and spring and grow and flourish as best they can, till one, perchance, overshadows and destroys the other. If a plant cannot live according to nature, it dies; and so a man.
"The night in prison was novel and interesting enough. The prisoners in their shirtsleeves were enjoying a chat and the evening air in the doorway, when I entered. But the jailer said, "Come, boys, it is time to lock up"; and so they dispersed, and I heard the sound of their steps returning into the hollow apartments. My room-mate was introduced to me by the jailer as "a first-rate fellow and clever man." When the door was locked, he showed me where to hang my hat, and how he managed matters there. The rooms were whitewashed once a month; and this one, at least, was the whitest, most simply furnished, and probably neatest apartment in town. He naturally wanted to know where I came from, and what brought me there; and, when I had told him, I asked him in my turn how he came there, presuming him to be an honest an, of course; and as the world goes, I believe he was. "Why," said he, "they accuse me of burning a barn; but I never did it." As near as I could discover, he had probably gone to bed in a barn when drunk, and smoked his pipe there; and so a barn was burnt. He had the reputation of being a clever man, had been there some three months waiting for his trial to come on, and would have to wait as much longer; but he was quite domesticated and contented, since he got his board for nothing, and thought that he was well treated.
"He occupied one window, and I the other; and I saw that if one stayed there long, his principal business would be to look out the window. I had soon read all the tracts that were left there, and examined where former prisoners had broken out, and where a grate had been sawed off, and heard the history of the various occupants of that room; for I found that even there there was a history and a gossip which never circulated beyond the walls of the jail. Probably this is the only house in the town where verses are composed, which are afterward printed in a circular form, but not published. I was shown quite a long list of young men who had been detected in an attempt to escape, who avenged themselves by singing them.
"I pumped my fellow-prisoner as dry as I could, for fear I should never see him again; but at length he showed me which was my bed, and left me to blow out the lamp.
"It was like travelling into a far country, such as I had never expected to behold, to lie there for one night. It seemed to me that I never had heard the town clock strike before, not the evening sounds of the village; for we slept with the windows open, which were inside the grating. It was to see my native village in the light of the Middle Ages, and our Concord was turned into a Rhine stream, and visions of knights and castles passed before me. They were the voices of old burghers that I heard in the streets. I was an involuntary spectator and auditor of whatever was done and said in the kitchen of the adjacent village inn--a wholly new and rare experience to me. It was a closer view of my native town. I was fairly inside of it. I never had seen its institutions before. This is one of its peculiar institutions; for it is a shire town. I began to comprehend what its inhabitants were about.
"In the morning, our breakfasts were put through the hole in the door, in small oblong-square tin pans, made to fit, and holding a pint of chocolate, with brown bread, and an iron spoon. When they called for the vessels again, I was green enough to return what bread I had left, but my comrade seized it, and said that I should lay that up for lunch or dinner. Soon after he was let out to work at haying in a neighboring field, whither he went every day, and would not be back till noon; so he bade me good day, saying that he doubted if he should see me again.
"When I came out of prison--for some one interfered, and paid that tax--I did not perceive that great changes had taken place on the common, such as he observed who went in a youth and emerged a gray-headed man; and yet a change had come to my eyes come over the scene--the town, and State, and country, greater than any that mere time could effect. I saw yet more distinctly the State in which I lived. I saw to what extent the people among whom I lived could be trusted as good neighbors and friends; that their friendship was for summer weather only; that they did not greatly propose to do right; that they were a distinct race from me by their prejudices and superstitions, as the Chinamen and Malays are that in their sacrifices to humanity they ran no risks, not even to their property; that after all they were not so noble but they treated the thief as he had treated them, and hoped, by a certain outward observance and a few prayers, and by walking in a particular straight through useless path from time to time, to save their souls. This may be to judge my neighbors harshly; for I believe that many of them are not aware that they have such an institution as the jail in their village.
"It was formerly the custom in our village, when a poor debtor came out of jail, for his acquaintances to salute him, looking through their fingers, which were crossed to represent the jail window, "How do ye do?" My neighbors did not this salute me, but first looked at me, and then at one another, as if I had returned from a long journey. I was put into jail as I was going to the shoemaker's to get a shoe which was mender. When I was let out the next morning, I proceeded to finish my errand, and, having put on my mended show, joined a huckleberry party, who were impatient to put themselves under my conduct; and in half an hour--for the horse was soon tackled--was in the midst of a huckleberry field, on one of our highest hills, two miles off, and then the State was nowhere to be seen.
--Thoreau
Some days the only thing that makes me want to continue the fight is my Grandaughter.
Last time I checked, the illusive THEY and THEIR rules weren't stopping them from going to Mars
Actually, in this case, I believe it's true that "they" really are doing their best to prevent any private concern from leaving the planet. Some UN treaty that no one is allowed to go into space without their approval (similar to Antartica). Sorry my details are fuzzy...
"How sad to see a 53 year old woman with only one year to live living in a fantasy world....THEY are the invisible monsters working to enslave people on a daily basis. THEY are the ones who make so many rules that prevent her and her immature daughter from having a better job, a better house or a better life. Life is so miserable because of THEM."THEY are not invisible. THEY are on TV all the time. (Ever heard of C-Span?) THEY are working to grow government. Tell me, in your "fantasy world" does bigger, more intrusive government mean more freedom?
"She equates power with the ability and desire to rob others of freedom..."The "powerful" are the ones with the "power" to rob others of their freedom. No one can take our freedom except those in power. Besides Ron Paul, name one politician who hasn't sought to take freedom away.
"Yes, working for a living amounts to slavery."So where would you draw the line? If the government can confiscate 33% of everything I earn (before I even see a dime, no less), is that fair? Where does slavery begin? When the feds confiscate 50%? 75%? 98%?
The woman in this article reminds me of a selfish and spoiled hippie from the 60s who never grew up. She has nothing to show for her wasted life except a vast collection of grievances, resentments and regrets. Instead of using the time she has left to do something worthwhile, she feels sorry for herself and angry at those she thinks are plotting to steal freedom from her unborn grandchildren.
She cannot hide her contempt for her sensible daughter who simply wants to get married, raise a family and have a decent job. Or her adulation for her irresponsible daughter who wants to live on Mars, whom she considers a "deep thinker" -- like herself, naturally. A "deep thinker" who never gave a moment's thought to how her "practical" daughter would be insulted and hurt by her dying mother's condescending and cutting final words.
What a jerk!
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