Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

To: JD86
As a lawyer myself, and having had to arrange for my parents' funerals and distribution, I have had a little experience in this sort of thing. The individual should, of course, have a will, up to date. ... and, very important, a number of trustworthy people should know where it is. I have a long story of an ugly family fight over an apparent intestate whose will was finally found - it had been done up ten years earlier, and was in the files of his retired (and deceased) lawyer, and finally found by the lawyer's widow ... after the estate had been frittered away in litigation and the remnant distributed by formula. I have recommended that people have multiple effective copies of their will - meaning making multiple copies before signing and then signing and witnessing each copy and then putting different copies in different safe places (the primary heir is usually a good choice) -- if he should change his mind, the dates on competing documents should be sufficiently dispositive.

If not in the will, or even additional to the will, there should be a clear specification of every bank account, stock portfolio, retirement/pension fund (including the govt ones, like military or veterans benefits), safe deposit box, storage locker, boat at the marina, cabin in the mountains, burial plot (including deeds in his possession of burial plots for ancestors and other relatives), insurance policies, and other important caches and documents (and keys). A list also of whatever in the house that he didn't own but leased or rented (e.g., my parents didn't own their clothes dryer ... it was leased from the gas company), so it's not sold or given away by mistake.

The will is frequently not read, or at least not read closely, until days after the death. So burial plans (including info on any prepaid funeral plans or burial plots), funeral plans, etc. should be a separate document ... readily available to the nearest family (presumably among the deceased's immediate possessions when he dies); this is a different situation than the will or financial data, as it is uncommon for funeral plans to be fudged by greedy relatives. Any directions for organ donations should be even more immediately available as the organs must be harvested (god how I hate that expression) immediately upon death. Also a list of people to be notified - this list should also be readily accessible, and should include full name, address, phone numbers, and maybe even a notation of how they are connected to the decedent (it might be a non-relative, even a total stranger, having to call family members and tell them about the death, funeral, or inheritance). I also recommend including the address and phone number in bequests in the will, to facilitate things even though those details might change over the years.

It's important to make sure that a number of trustworthy people, and not only relatives, but the lawyer, accountant, etc., know something ... at least where the will and the other documents are to be found. Unfortunately too many people either don't tell someone, or tell one person who turns out to be unavailable (or old/sick/senile) at the time of their death.

Although it might not be part of the legal work, it might be nice if a person contemplating his/her death wrote out or at least taped - while their handwriting was still legible and their minds still lucid - some family history, maybe some details about heirlooms and prized possessions, and some biographical data. Also mark up the photos in the photo album with all the info about who/when/where. When my mother died, I realized that I knew almost zero about her father, nor the birthdates/places of either of her parents or anything about their ancestors, nor whether there were any relatives on her father's side anywhere in the world; and, of course, it is now absolutely impossible to get those answers.

Good luck.

55 posted on 12/06/2001 6:48:33 PM PST by DonQ
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]


To: DonQ
Thanks for the professional perspective. We can all learn from each other.
77 posted on 12/06/2001 7:02:22 PM PST by JD86
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 55 | View Replies ]

To: DonQ
Very good advice. Too bad you're a government agent. Thanks again.
78 posted on 12/06/2001 7:02:38 PM PST by Fred Mertz
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 55 | View Replies ]

To: DonQ
Written down family history is invaluable. Recently we had a family reunion and there were just a couple of old timers (in another state) who knew who people were in the old photos our family has kept. I have started a memory book, writing down the old stories and relationships that I know of and can remember. My grandson is only 2 and he will eventually inherit my things an these photos, but without a written history, they would mean nothing to him. Excellent suggestion. Great thread!
101 posted on 12/06/2001 7:19:42 PM PST by ZDaphne
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 55 | View Replies ]

To: DonQ
Same here. I really wish I could have gotten my mom's full life story, what I do know is very interesting. We had talked about writing all the info on the old pictures, and videotaping some of her stories, but we thought we had all the time in the world.
192 posted on 12/06/2001 9:01:08 PM PST by Tony in Hawaii
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 55 | View Replies ]

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article


FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson