If you die tomorrow, what does your family need to know today? (Lawyer Needs Freeper Help)

I'm an attorney who helps clients with estate planning and other money matters, but I won't claim that I "know it all". I need Freeper advice.

I once had an elderly client who always told his family "When I die, everything you need is in the manila folder". When he died, we searched high and low but we never did find that folder. As a result, it took years to settle his estate.

That shouldn't happen. I am putting together a booklet for my clients - a checklist of sorts - to help them keep track of important family information.

First - the practical. Doctor's name, where's the will, your desires regarding any minor children ... what else?

Second - the emotional. Would you tell your children you are proud of them? To stop smoking? Dump their lousy mate? What else?

Is there anything you would change about what your parents did? Have you made a checklist yet? If so, what's on it?

I have a client who has all her medications listed and taped to the inside of her kitchen cabinet and all her family knows where to find it. Do you have any other ideas like that?

Thanks to all in advance for your suggestions. Please post or send me FreeperMail.

I am repeating your suggestions because they are excellent. Without getting into the specifics of the changes in tax law and some very sophisticated issues of financial planning, it is obvious that you know what you are talking about. Thank you for sharing your expertise.
If there is any doubt that the person signing a power of attorney is not of sound mind or if there is even the slightest hint that someone in the future might challenge the person's capacity to sign a power of attorney, then make sure you have at least one disinterested person witness the execution of the document, preferably a nurse, social worker, or other health care professional who has elder care experience.
Make sure the power of attorney gives the attorney-in-fact the power to make gifts.
Make sure you obtain duplicate originals of important estate documents. Your attorney should have one set, but attorneys have been known to move, die, or simply lose documents that they're not supposed to lose. So keep an extra duplicate original in a safe deposit box at a bank, and perhaps a set in a strong box in the basement.
Keep an entire set of all important papers in the same location. Death or incapacity is not the time for a scavanger hunt. And don't forget to tell several people where those papers are located.
Make sure someone else has joint access to your safe deposit box.
Don't mix apples and oranges. When you hire a lawyer, that lawyer has a duty to provide you with independent legal advice. If the lawyer tries to sell you life insurance, elder care insurance, annuities, mutual funds etc, then run for the hills. And if the lawyer aggressively pushes the name of a person who peddles those kinds of products then ask yourself why: Attorneys have been known to have recipical relationships with accountants, insurance sales people, and so-called finacial planners -- a relationship which is often based upon factors other than that person's qualifications.
For 99% of the population, life insurance should be used for one and only one purpose: To provide a finacial cushion for those who survive your death. Life insurance should generally not be used as an investment. Indeed, in my experience the only people who recommend life insurance as an investment are those people who sell life insurance.
Buy low cost term life insurance and not expensive whole life insurance.
Don't call your attorney every day with a single question. Many attorneys work for an hourly fee, billed in 6ths, 10ths, or quarter hour increments. If you call your attorney every day with one question, then the attorney is probably going to charge you at least the minimum billing increment each time you call. If you save all of your questions for a single telephone call, then in many cases the attorney can answer all of your questions within the same minimum billing increment.

Pay your attorney what you have agreed to pay her, rather than trying to haggle the price down after the work is done. Most people don't negotiate doctor's fees or the price of a loaf of bread at the grocery store, and lawyers' fees should not be treated any differently. And before you b*tch about the legal fees, please remember that you went to see the lawyer in the first place because he or she has specialized knowledge that you don't have.

Brian Cody Prosser was one of the Green Berets killed in Afghanistan this week. Below is a statement from his brother that is very appropriate to our discussion here.

Jarudd Prosser said the family knew the risks involved, adding that as soon he learned his brother was shipping out, he made it a point to tell him how he felt about him. “In a war, people die,” he said. “It puts a lot of things in perspective. It really makes me think, when you care about someone, you have to tell them that. When I heard he was going overseas, I left nothing unsaid.”

Of course, not all of us have loved ones serving in the military....but things like the WTC terrorist attack or random shootings or automobile accidents can and do happen. I would encourage all of us to "leave nothing unsaid."

Perhaps this subject has been touched on and I'm repeating it, but I wonder how many people in second or multiple marriages understand what happens if they or their mate dies without a will.

I heard of a widow who had to sell her own house because her mates children wanted their share of equity in the house. I would imagine the laws are different from state to state. Also, If a husband receives heirlooms from his family, and he dies in old age, does his new wife and her children get the heirlooms automatically, without a will?

I suppose these situations can cause many heartaches for the parties involved. In addition, I would think that some of these subjects are not easy and open for discussion between members of multiple marriages without shared biological children.

My brother received most of the antiques from my parents (I live far away). He will die before his wife, unless there's an unforseen accident. Do my brother's children have a right to any of their grandparents furniture if it's not stipulated in a will?

I was hoping someone else would jump in on this one. It really is a sticky wicket. You are right that it depends on which state you are in and community property states are especially difficult to plan for this kind of distribution. I do not practice in a community property state. One thing I suggest to everyone getting married for a second, or third.. time is that they have a pre-nuptial agreement, especially if they have children. Everyone getting married expects to be married forever, but it doesn't always work out that way. The best thing about a pre-nuptial agreement is it sets out who has what at the beginning. It is a great way to document inherited property. So even if you stayed married until your spouse died, the pre-nupt could document what you owned before you got married and that would be considered non-marital property in most states. For those who are married and didn't write a pre-nupt....it is best to have a candid discussion with your spouse and write wills that will protect your children, especially if you are in a sitution of his, hers and ours. As with all other complicated questions, please consult an attorney in your state for specific questions.

Since Larry didn't come back to tell another joke, here is a True Story as my thank you.

A TRUE STORY Great true lawyer story! (Can you say "too smart for one's own good"?)

A Charlotte, NC, man having purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having smoked his entire stock-pile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company.

In his claim, the man stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued....and won! In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated nevertheless, that the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be "unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the man for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."

NOW FOR THE BEST PART

After the man cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

-This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Darwin Award Contest

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