Posted on 12/05/2001 7:22:16 AM PST by Starmaker
A feminine woman has the effect of a sunrise on a man's soul.
In the words of novelist Alex Waugh, she draws a man "into a magic circle where everything is fresher, cleaner; where there is peace, warmth, comfort. She produces in him the desire to be his best."
Nothing on earth is so fine. On this continent, increasingly nothing is so rare.
The Official State Gender Ideology, feminism, has decreed that femininity is a "stereotype" invented by men to oppress women.
Feminism is no longer about equal opportunity for women. It is a thuggish, devious synthesis of Marxism and lesbianism used by ruling elites to undermine individuals and weaken society. It is to society what AIDS is to the body.
But men are also to blame. We have accepted the feminist lie that women should be independent and pursue careers. We have abandoned the many gentle and loving women who instinctively want to build their lives around a man. We have pursued the busy, neurotic, overachievers who guarantee us heartbreak, divorce and broken family.
By pursuing these women, we are really seeking our own lost masculinity. Many of us are happy to evade the responsibility of earning a living, and taking charge of a family. In either case we are condemning ourselves to frustration and arrested development.
For heterosexuals to find fulfillment, each sex must assume its instinctive part. The sex act is a metaphor: The man's spirit pervades the female and they become one. The male spirit must be active and the female receptive.
Many men ignore willing, feminine women who can provide Wholeness. These women cannot thrive, we cannot thrive, unless we recognize, defend and love them.
What is a feminine woman?
1) A feminine woman is motivated by love of husband and children. She is the heart of the family, devoted to her husband and children's wellbeing. This is her career. A woman who is preoccupied with another demanding career cannot pay attention to her family. Love is mainly paying attention. There is a New Yorker cartoon where a child is wearing a welder's mask and using a blowtorch to write, "I need love" on the living room wall. His mother says to her friend: "He's just doing that to get attention."
A feminine woman may have another career but it is her second priority. She is not driven by personal ambition. I liked the movie Legally Blonde because the heroine showed that she could excel in the work world but why bother? She had a more important goal: a husband and family.
Career is a feminist lie. Since when are careers the source of human fulfillment? What is so great about being an Assistant Loan Manager at a bank? Is society expected to provide successive legions of eager feminists with "fulfilling" careers to compensate for their loveless lives?
2) Feminists are teaching women to be "strong and independent." This is not feminine. Men respond to a woman's need. We want to rescue the damsel in distress and to win her favors. This archetype is also innate in women. She wants to be enlisted by a man.
A feminine woman DEPENDS on a man. This doesn't mean she is an emotional waif. She is competent but she doesn't pretend to be independent. Men and women need each other to be whole. As long as I have my wife, I am self-sufficient. So is she.
3) Just as the woman is the heart of the family, the man is the head and shoulders. A feminine woman is her husband's partner. They make decisions together but he has the last word. Men must be the visionaries, the navigators, and the captains. A woman's most important decision is the man she chooses to love.
4) A feminine woman is reserved. She wants a man to pay attention to "her" so she doesn't flaunt her sexuality. A woman wants to be loved more than anything in the world. She wants to be "known" in all her divinity. This happens when she is truly loved. Is it a coincidence the Bible uses the word "know" as in Abraham "knew" Sarah, to speak of sexual intercourse? All women are beautiful when they are loved.
Women's liberation has taught women to pursue sex for its own sake, as though they were men. This is not feminine. If a man prefers a new car, why would he marry a "used" woman? He doesn't want a car that's been driven by a lot of men. He doesn't know where it's been, what damage has been done. He will choose a brand new car. In my wife's words: "A man wants to be a woman's first lover; a woman wants to be his last."
I'm not saying all women should save their virginity until marriage but certainly sex should be reserved for honest, loving relationships. Men need to stop looking for sex and start looking for the right woman. That's the only guarantee of sex anyway.
If men chose wives with the same attention as cars, more marriages would succeed. Women are the vehicles to the future, in terms of emotional fulfillment and family. If men knew where they wanted to go, they would choose women who would get them there. They would not be blinded by sex.
5) A feminine woman tries to please the man she loves. No, this has not been outlawed, it just seems that way. A feminine woman generates love by giving love. She empowers her man by believing in him. Love is expressed in actions and effort. Baking a pie is an act of love. So is making the home beautiful. Are we so blind, impoverished and demoralized that we cannot appreciate this? Why have we allowed feminists to stigmatize homemaking? Women would be more than happy to be homemakers if it received the recognition and appreciation that it deserves.
A feminine woman has grace, beauty and wisdom. These all come from staying in touch with her spirit and not pursuing an exhausting career that requires masculine qualities.
On the "Oprah" Show, I saw three young women interviewed about the "quarter-life" crisis. They were having trouble getting their careers on track and because of their families' expectations they were falling apart.
Oprah urged these girls to "follow their instincts." No one mentioned that for women in their early twenties, "following their instincts" might entail having a baby. No one is following their instincts any more. They are doing what feminists tell them to do.
It's time men started listening to their instincts too. We want to be the masters of our domain. We want to love and possess ("pay attention," "know") our wives. We want to create families that are loving, lively and happy. It's time we embraced the quiet, unassuming beautiful women who want to be our soul mates.
Some pretty wierd stuff and obviously women who either have no morals or their self-esteem is non-existent.
"Sheathe thy eager sword as thou seeketh the maiden of virtue. :)"
You may have a point. Some of these maidens are pretty tough.
We still need more knights and ladies.
You said you do not call an electrician to deliver a baby. That's because that's not what he is trained to do. They may by innately good at it but they still need training to do it correctly. Just as a woman may be better at it than her man but it should not be her burden alone if he is capable of doing things like cleaning the house or fixing the meals.
I do think it is wrong to think negatively of women who feel that they should take the traditional role as long as they are doing it because they want to not because they think they have to.
If it were a "try before you buy" program, one would not be obligated to make the purchase.
Whether or not it used to be "acceptable" for a couple to have sex before their formal wedding night, it was nonetheless accepted that a bride could do in seven or eight months what would take a normal woman nine. Children of such circumstances were almost always regarded as being fully legitimate.
Marriage after the sin is just one way to recompense the consequences of sin. In many situations marriage after fornication is just as foolish as the sin, since one or both partners do not reverence the magnitude of sacrifice and convenant associated with marriage.
In many if not most cases today, that is true. Oftentimes the male will have sex with no intention of marrying the female in any event, and yet get pressured into it after she gets pregnant--not a recipe for a good relationship.
But when it comes to Biblical concepts I am often reminded of the fine print disclaimer 'your mileage may vary'.
I think we're more in agreement than not, really. We both agree that the widespread acceptability of non-marital sex has contributed to a breakdown of the family structure. We also agree that intercourse before marriage, even among those intending to marry, is inadvisable. Where we differ, I think, is that you regard it as necessarily sinful while I do not.
FYI, I did not have intercourse with my late wife until after our wedding ceremony, and I am glad of that. I am also, however, truth be told, glad that I did share a bedroom with her before we were married. She had, as I discovered, formerly-undiagnosed sleep apnea, and had she not gotten treatment I would not have gotten much sleep on the honeymoon.
If you think this man is making sense I feel really bad for you, but hell, it's your prerogative. But your second sentence is dead wrong: he's not telling us how he failed, he's telling us how he's right and the rest of the world is wrong. I'm sure you've read some of his other stuff by now, and I'm amazed you can't see the pattern in his writing. If you don't believe me, search for his article on Playboy magazine---it was posted here on FR.
What she is NOT is a slave to a job or in some cases a career, not knowing where her children are much of the time or even who's raising them. She is not a woman who comes home at the end of a long day too tired to attend to her husband and children or to be involved in her church or community.
I spent a lot of time on the farm when I was growing up. I used to get teased because I preferred to slop the hogs and milk the cows rather than hang out with the women in the kitchen baking cookies. I would follow my grandpa around behind the plow for hours and a highlight of my young life was getting to take the reins. Now don't misunderstand. I loved to cook and was a good cook even as a child, but I just loved the farm...I could cook anytime.
I'm not sure where the idea of a double standard of morality came from, although there is little doubt it has existed to a degree. It did not come from the Bible though, which is the source of the majority of our core values in this country. The scriptures, both Old and New covenant, hold men to the same standard of morality as women, and even in the rare situations where a man was allowed more than one wife, it was never looked at by God as being ideal. Personally I'm inclined to think that the double standard grew by default out of men looking the other way when other men were caught fooling around, since it was the men who were responsible for upholding Levitical law. Consider the example of the incident where the woman was brought to Jesus because she was taken in the act of adultery. To be taken in the act, seems to me there had to be somebody else there! The punishment outlined in the Law was the same for the man as for the woman. Did you ever ask youself the question, "where was the man?"
As to being true to our natures, I wasn't suggesting that that meant we were to have certain preferences or opinions or tastes as you seem to imply. I was making the simple point that every creature is in its glory when doing what it was created to do. God's design is flawless, and within that design is great variety. Women under the liberal banner today fly in the face of God's design, whether by promoting promiscuity, avoiding accountability, or teaching the abominable as acceptable, or any number of other attitudes and behaviors. It is an evil mentality, one that promotes cheapening what is priceless and profaning what is sacred and we are paying dearly for it, as a society and as individuals. The price: broken homes, out of control children who respect nothing and love less, lives and hearts fragmented with little hope to be found because God's presence is considered "offensive." I could go on but there is really no need. I think you get the picture. I, for one, think God had a much better plan for us.
I've heard an analogy made that people in Japan eat rice and we eat bread, but we both end up healthy. As far as that goes, I agree with what you say--but people in Russia eating rubber are still ill. You dig?
Do you take financial advice from your brother-in-law who's always hitting you up for loans, or health advice from a junk-injecting, 3-packs-a-day cigarette smoker whose waist size is greater than the number of weeks in the year?
Live and learn from fools and from sages, as the song goes.
when i first introduced my angel to my family, my 1st cousin said: "PRETTY GIRL, too bad she's BLIND!"
ha HA !!!
We must be kin.......That sounds just like something a few members of my family might say.....
R NEVER said anything like that again! LOL for the memory.
Starmaker, I really like what you are saying. One little problem. I am a women who is a visionary. My heart soars and I want to fly. I haven't but dream about climbing the highest mountains. I think great and wonderful thoughts. I like adventure. Many of my deepest and fondest dreams involve loving and serving God. Do you think this is wrong?
Sorry, I mean the article you are posting. Do you basically agree with it?
He follows the statement about virginity with this one; I don't think he was implying selectivity in who can be promiscuous or not. But I do believe he likes docile women.
Mines a real firebrand, can't tell her to do squat, but we suck hind tit in the "Keeping up with the Jones'" department because she stays at home with the four kids; I'll always consider myself lucky (and pretty insightful with wife hunting) that she doesn't need a career to be whole, even if we don't have the newest SUV. She is quite good at her profession, phlebotomy, and I know she sometimes wishes she could work again, so I honor her amongst my peers for her decision when they say "Your wife doesn't work? What up wid dat?" and I explain how she has a more important job than I, ensuring we turn model, freedom loving American out into the world. Hopefully, she can get back to work after the littlest one starts school, but she still wants to go just part time to avoid "latch key Kleboeld" syndrome. We gotta lotta problems (like most couples, I tell myself), but she always has my respect for this.
"Docile" could be an approach to these callings, but I am with you such women would not get my attention. I am the type that likes the women that can eat like a pig on the first date and not be ashamed of it. My wife makes the distinction between career and job. Both her and my careers are mother and father, our jobs just support the career.
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