Wrapping Christmas Presents (With a Cat)

Cornell ^

[Sir Gawain]

DOORS: Do not allow any closed doors in any room.

LOL! So true! Once you open it, they don't want in. My cat can open doors on its own, that are not completely closed. I almost taught him to turn the lights out a few years ago.

[BlueLancer]

No, I had trained my møøse to stay out of the cheese.

It was the polar bears that I had trouble with ... big Polish polar bears carrying nasty Russian cheese.

Now, armadillos and aardvarks in the cheese were the worst ... not because of what they did to it but because cheese gives armadillos and aardvarks gas and you don't want to be in an enclosed room with gasey armadillos and aardvarks.

[Sir Gawain]

ping

[Sir Gawain]

ping

[SAMWolf]

I hate it when I open my fridge and find moose tracks in my cheesecake!
I keep telling the kids to make sure the fridge door is closed when they are done. Kids!!

[Lizavetta]

Remember this classic?

[Sir Gawain]

Oops.

[fearNlothin]

Hey,how'd you get a picture of my cat? But,thats not my X-mas tree?

[Lady Jag]

One thing missing from that cat wrapping list is claw holes. I have to admit that cats have been so wacky while I’m wrapping that I give up and finish wrapping the present with paper that the cat has made claw holey.

[Silly]

Here's a way to avoid all this nonsense:

Step 1. Place cat in airtight container.
Step 2. Proceed with the gift wrapping.

[Victoria Delsoul]

LOL.

[FLAMING DEATH]

Fun cat games highly recommended by my irritating calico named Marshmallow

Always play in the bathtub at three in the morning. Bonus points are added if there is water in the tub.

When possible, always play on hardwood floor or linoleum instead of on the carpet. Not only does this amplify any sound you make, the decresed traction also makes it more likely that you will destroy something valuable. Bonus points are added when you destroy something valuable at three in the morning.

Owner's expensive carpeted guitar amplifier cabinets make better scratching posts than the real thing. Try to get that carpet off there. Especially at three in the morning.

If there's a dog in the house, run up to it as if attacking it, then scamper away in order to get the dog to chase you. Repeat 152 times at around three in the morning, or until owner shoots randomly toward any noises he hears.

When using the litter box, be sure to scrape litter around for at least fifteen minutes after covering up your business, especially at three in the morning. Bonus points for digging without actually using the bathroom.

At three in the morning, wake up and begin crying to be let out. When you're let out, stand outside the door on the porch and whine to be let back in. Winner is the cat who gets let out/in most times before four in the morning without being killed by the owner.

[Capt. Tom]

Sit in one room while your cat's in an adjacent room and cast through the doorway into the room. Work the lure slightly and you will soon be trying to land that most elusive of catches: the 10-pound land cat.

I have an indoors only siamese cat . Ocassionally it gets outdoors.

My garage is attached to the house. To get the cat back inside I put up the garage door and take a spinning rod, with a feathered lure that looks like a badminton shuttle cock.

When I see the cat near the house I cast he lure near the cat and start the retrieve. I end up insided the garage and when the cat follows the retrieved lure into the garage I shut the door. -Tom

[Tennessee_Bob]

I've found that the easiest way to wrap presents when there is a møøse present is to distract the møøse, either with a large wheel of cheese, or with a sister, dressed as a large wheel of cheese.

[sneakypete]

I'll never forget building my knucklehead Harley with a litter of kittens trying to help me. They especially loved stuff like the little check valve balls that goes in the oil pump,and thoroughly enjoyed batting them across the floor.

Their mother used to get really steamed when I would spend what she thought was too much time reading,and not enough time petting the cat. She'd lay down across the pages of the book.

[NewHampshireDuo]

There should be a section on scaring humans half to death - such as, waiting in the dark, in the middle of a dark,dark night, under the bed - until your human stumbles up from said bed, still half asleep, to go to the bathroom, etc. Then, very silently, LEAP at their legs and run like h*ll when they yell from fright...(my mother had a cat that loved to do that...)

[11th Earl of Mar]

Teather Cat...hehehehe