She's more than my Mom--she's my best friend. She's the one I can tell anything to and we always have giggle fits when we're together. Unfortunately, she's across the country from me, and I have my own medical crisis going on and three kids & a spouse besides. I wanted to go, but I wouldn't be much use--can't lift anything--and I have to deal with my own mess. My Dad is between jobs now so she will have not only the best care 24/7 once she gets home, but also the best food. (Dad is an awesome cook.) She has been trying to get this knee replacement done for a long time and I know she won't slack off on the PT or anything else she's supposed to do. I didn't know they'd have to strap her into a machine postop though. I could have thought of a lot of ways to tease her about that if I'd known. ;-)
Thanks for the jokes! I know the one about "preparing you for labor" will really make her groan!
A man who suspected his wife of cheating came home from work early one day. Sure enough, his wife was naked and the bed was unkempt. "Where is he!" The man shouted, "I know he's still here." The man looked around the apartment then checked the balcony, where he found Colin Powell hanging from the railing.
In a rage the man pushed Colin Powell off the 15th floor balcony. When he peered over the edge and saw that Colin Powell had survived the fall, he went into the kitchen, pushed the refrigerator onto the balcony and over the edge. The refrigerator landed on Colin Powell and killed him.
At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter asked Mr. Powell how he got there. Mr. Powell said, "I was lifting weights on the balcony of my 16th floor apartment. I slipped and fell over the edge but was fortunate enough to grab onto the balcony railing of the apartment below me. Then this crazy guy pushed me off. I barely survived the fall, then the maniac threw a refrigerator on me, and here I am." St. Peter said, "OK, then you can come in." A moment later Bill Clinton arrived at the Pearly Gates, and St. Peter asked him how he got there. Bill Clinton said, "OK, picture this. I'm naked in a refrigerator...."
A woman asks the pharmacist, "Do you have Viagra?"
"Yes," he says.
She says, "Does it work?"
"Yes."
"Can you get it over the counter?"
And he says, "I can if I take two!"
God bless your mom. Tell her I said shake a leg and get well!