Posted on 11/16/2001 1:17:06 PM PST by lds23
Maybe I'm being petty, but I think it's the little details that inform how we look at the world. The decline of courtesy and manners is a well-worn adage.
But why do otherwise intelligent, well-dressed, and financially secure people treat service personnel like servants. At the Starbucks, the businesswoman says "I need a Large Capuccino". At the burger joint "Gimme a doublecheeseburger". Do they have so little self-esteem and respect that it would pain them to ask nicely?
Think of political discourse - it seems to run to "demands" for what is basically a handout from the government.
I'm no wilting flower, but wouldn't it make the day more pleasant? After all that's happened recently, you'd think we'd want to enjoy each day to the fullest.
They got replaced by Hannity and Colmes.
Thank you.
I regard "no problem" as improper.
Buy every single one of her books (even if they are out of print) and devour them over and over. And make a point to read her Post column religiously.
Start with "Miss Manners' guide to excruciatingly correct behavior," out of print but widely available used. Do an Amazon search and you'll find quite a few good choices.
A thorough and careful reading, and continuous rereading, of Miss Manners writings will change your life and your approach to manners. She helps with not only the little details, but the broad picture, or what she calls "Heavy Etiquette Theory." She is thoroughly researched, practical, and always -- always -- correct.
Many people do not realize that good manners can be used as a weapon, both offensively and defensively. When reading her material, you will find she equips you with countless ways to "defend" yourself against other people's bad manners, by providing a glossary of responses that save you from becoming an unwitting victim of rude people, and giving you comebacks perfect for many occasions.
Although she can well-equip you to know when and how to use the most obscure items of silverware (like the chocolate muddler, the grape scissors, and the terrapin fork), what she really excels at is helping you really and truly understand what manners are, what they mean, and how to master their use in all circumstances. Yes, she gets a kick out of knowing (and telling you) that sable is the proper fur to wear in mourning, but she also tells you when funereal thank-you notes are required (for flowers, which are for the living) and when they are not (for mere visitations, which are for the dead, who cannot be expected to reciprocate).
Fortunately, she is also fun to read, extremely witty and entertaining, and always useful. And if she doesn't answer your questions in her books and columns, you can always write her (on white writing paper, in black or blue-black ink) care of the Washington Post.
Not being,
Don't tell ME what kind of a day to have! I"ll have any kind of damn day I want! :-))
Just like GWB said at the Crawford High School today when a student asked what advice he had for them: "Listen to your Mother!"
Even worse ... try working for $300/hour attorneys.
With regard to service people, they are certainly lacking in manners themselves these days, BUT, very few people treat service workers with respect. I worked in retail longer than I care to admit, and as a result I always say please and thank you to everyone from drive-thru clerks to gas station attendants. It's a two-fold problem - most managers need to work on their workers' customer service and most customers need to work on their worker courtesy.
I'm still trying to get my husband to be consistently courteous to service people. Not that he is rude, but I keep telling him how much simple please and thank yous are to someone working menially.
Thank you. Oh please folks, what inefficient way to conduct one's business than saying this instead the above:
"Please, Gimme a doublecheeseburger, thank you!".
The father of efficiency, whatsis name, must be turning over in his grave reading this thread!
Some smart ass lowlife once said something ignorant after he heard me saying the dreaded "please" and "thank you".
I courteously told him that just beause I had manners did not mean that I did not have the ability or the desire to ruin his day. I said, "Since I'M the one with manners here, I think I should ask whether you would like me to kick your ass now; or would it be more convenient for you if I scheduled it for tomorrow?
He ran out the door.
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