ACLU Sues to Eliminate Senior Discounts

BOGUS News Network ^

[SAMWolf]

BALTIMORE, MD — If you are a senior citizen and you've grown accustomed to getting a small discount when you shop at Walmart or eat at Denny's, then you'd better be prepared to start paying full price if the ACLU has its way. Attorneys for the ACLU have filed a Federal Discrimination Lawsuit that seeks to bar U.S. businesses from giving senior discounts.

Karl Lennin, an ACLU attorney told BNN, "The senior discount is one of the worst examples of discrimination in America. It unfairly punishes younger Americans and gives preferential treatment to seniors for no other reason than their age. This is immoral and illegal. That is why we are calling on the courts to uphold current anti-discrimination laws and put an end to this discriminatory practice."

Patrick Henry, a spokesman for the U.S. Chamber of Retailers opposes the ACLU's lawsuit. Said Henry, "If there is something good happening in America, wait five minutes and the ACLU will file a lawsuit to stop it. Their lawsuit is not only frivolous, but shows just how mentally bent this organization has become." Henry defended the practice of giving seniors a discount by saying, "If a company wants to give a little perk to seniors by giving them a small discount, then that is showing respect to a group of people who deserve it. Hasn’t the ACLU heard the saying ‘Respect Your Elders’?"

The ACLU’s Karl Lennin disagrees. Asked Lennin, "Why should a person whose lived a few more miserable years than another person be allowed to pay $5.00 for a meal that everyone else has to pay $6.00? That is nothing more than arbitrary preferential treatment. We don’t let retailers give preferential treatment to people because of their skin color, why should we let them do it because of a person’s age? That’s called discrimination and its against the law."

[pt17]

Ready? Fire! Aim.

[stlrocket]

This poor old lady heard about the ACLU once again making life even more miserable, and, was finally forced to make a decision:

POP OR PILLS

Sad!

[nocommies]

bogus, BUT all too believable! hope no one from the aclu sees this thread, theyll file suit next week.

[Timesink]

Total crap. To file a lawsuit, one must have an underlying legal protection upon which to base the case.

Um, we know it's crap because it was posted under "humor." But anyway, you need no underlying basis on which to file a lawsuit. You need one to WIN, but like the old saying goes, you can indict a ham sandwich.

[TimSkalaBim]

I love the "Gotcha's"

I hate you.

[Catie]

Never mind. Dumb joke though, IMHO.

[TXBubba]

But the ACLU would never do anything like this, why? Because the seniors of this country vote - unlike my co-stayathome moms who told me on Tuesday that "I just never made it to vote." or "My husband said we needed to vote but I just haven't been too political lately". Thankfully there are a lot of us moms who did show up - kids in tow!

[SAMWolf]

"Vienna" brand corned beef????

[d14truth]

The 'Senior Discount' is 'age discrimination'. I'm all FOR an educated and DISCRIMINATING electorate. Bring discrimination back, it great when discriminantly used. {;~)

'vindictive' discrimination, i.e., hate or subjective intolerance has to be guarded against.

We also must do away with this 'internet' thing. It discriminates against those who don't have access to FreeRepublic, and are thus confined to Blather, Lemmings, Brokenjaw, and other 'lamestreamers'.

[Oldeconomybuyer]

[SoDak]

I think you need to put "joke" in big flashing letters next time. It is a good joke by the way. Like all good jokes, there's a hint or indication of truth hidden inside.

[jtgaff]

I am retired military living in Republic of Panama. They give me 25% discount on electricity, phone, airplane tickets...50% on hotel rooms....20% in restaurants... drug stores...dentist and doctor bills...They know how to treat the seniors real well here...Also they would not tolerate an organization like the ACLU. Come on down!!!!!

[d14truth]

Nothing better than a 'gotcha' that 'getsya'. {;~)

Next year I start becoming eligible for the 'time served' benefits.

I'm more interested in getting those 'short discounts' applied to those of us who are 'vertically endowed'. {;~)

[wwjdn]

Let's sue to ACLU for being Brain Dead!!!!

Oops, that would require admiting that they had a brain to start with....my mistake.

Why don't those lawyers go someplace where they can fight real crimes and get a life!!!

[Sir Gawain]

This is ooooolllld.

[SAMWolf]

The best parodies, satire and jokes always sound believable. That's what makes them so good.

Who wouldn't believe that the ACLU would do this??

[FreePaul]

I thought it was Karl Marx and Vladimir Lenin. Did he get named by parents with a sense of humor?

[uncbob]

Heh, I wish this WERE true. There's nothing goofier than giving out senior discounts. "Congratulations! You made it to 65 without dying! Here's 10% off!" Seniors tend to be the most affluent people, not the least.

Well if that's how you view your parents or grandparents I would have to say you came from a very unhappy family or a broken home

[Vinnie]

I am retired military living in Republic of Panama. They give me 25% discount on electricity........

Those Chinese really know how to treat seniors. (g)