If that's the case, does that apply to us too? According to you, are our civilians supposed to be legitimate targets? If not, what is the logical difference between our civilians and theirs?
The point is simple. War is hell.
Take your worst assumptions about war and multiply them 100 times. You have still not approximated the horrors of modern mano-e-mano combat.
That said, the cruel hoax is that everything you do to "humanize" war or make it less horrible only serves to prolong the conflict. That prolonged conflict only results in more deaths on all sides.
In 3 wars, we have tried to pare down the conflict so the other side will "understand" our position.
We have found that the only enemy soldier who learns the wisdom and and longevity of our position is a dead ememy soldier!!!
Tough, but true. It's called reality!