American Women Can Win This War !

Email | 10/18/2001 | A Realistic Woman

[ResistorSister]

Here is the plan:

• Take all American women who are +/- 5 years of menopause.
• Train us for a few weeks, outfit us with weapons, uniforms, gas masks, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, Spam, support hose, and lipstick.
• Drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes naturally.

Think about it:

Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even men in turbans tremble.

We have had our children, we would gladly die/suffer to protect them and their future.

Most of us would like to get away from our husbands, if they haven't left already.

And for those who are single, the prospect of finding a good man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning; therefore, we have nothing to lose.

Let us go and fight!

The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes all through their godforsaken terrain.

I'm going to write my Congressman.

You should, too.

[KentuckyWoman]

Oh my goodness. I CANNOT remember laughing so hard in a L-O-N-G time.

Seriously though, I was thinking along these line just the other day - I'd rather go fight than have my children do it. I more fully realize the effects of a war and I'm a heck of lot better shot than either one them!! LOL

[MadIvan]

I think bin Laden also said something about American women having a problem with cellulite too. I wasn't paying attention really, I was still gobsmacked he dared to suggest that most American women could really stand to lose some weight.

Diving into a bomb shelter

Best Regards, Ivan

[ResistorSister]

Bee-keeping outfits are so passe'

I cannot imagine how flat their hair must be after wearing that bee-keepers hood all day.

those poor souls

[rockchalkjayhawk]

Hehehehe. I think bin Laden's the one who needs to be diving into a bomb shelter ;-)

[Temple Drake]

I like this so much that I will make an exception to the rule to civilized countries do not send women to war -- my daughters must stay home, but I will GLADLY go! And you haven't seen ANYTHING until you've seen me pissed off ... just ask my husband. Osama has NO IDEA ...

[TrueBeliever9]

LOL Wait till they see Texas hair! Right MissAmericanPie! It must be the water there because TX women have the thickest hair in all the USA!

[MadIvan]

Hehehehe. I think bin Laden's the one who needs to be diving into a bomb shelter ;-)

I'm merely concerned about the blast radius, dear lady. ;) I've never seen anyone vapourised by a thermonuclear female temper explosion. ;)

Best Regards, Ivan

[KentuckyWoman]

My family can tell you that the closest thing that they can equate to mom being PO'd is the Tazmanian Devil (with a .357)....NOT a pretty sight....

[ResistorSister]

Western Women's buttocks look big when they try to wear pedal pushers!

MadIvan...which generation are you from? Pedal Pushers? ;-)

[MadIvan]

MadIvan...which generation are you from? Pedal Pushers? ;-)

All right, at the grand old age of 29, I admit, I am over the hill. ;)

Regards, Ivan

[Stopspin]

Tell the ladies they will have to wear the islamic tent if they lose--that will get'em motivated .

I donot think the taliban wants try to put pms'n American women in one of those tents with a peep hole .

I am surprised that Islamic women donot murder the men while they sleep .

[ResistorSister]

I'd rather go fight than have my children do it.

You're a good mom - KentuckyWoman

[ResistorSister]

29?

Then you must have heard your mother call "capri pants" by the old name of "pedal pushers."

:-)

[MadIvan]

Actually, I'm completely clueless about women's fashion (and proud of it) - I just heard of pedal pushers somewhere. I don't remember where either, but my mother isn't the type to wear them, I assure you.

Regards, Ivan

[grellis]

This is a good idea! All they need to arm us with is a wooden spoon :)

Egad! Not the wooden spoon!

Mom, is that you???

[ResistorSister]

I am surprised that Islamic women donot murder the men while they sleep .

I have heard of one Islamic woman who hit her husband with a hammer until he was dead...go to the link to see what happened to her.

Graphic Content...Public Execution in Afghanistan

[MadIvan]

Perhaps we ought to arm some nuns with some metal rulers.

Osama, meet Mother Superior. Mother Superior, meet Osama. He's been a very naughty boy.

Regards, Ivan

[KentuckyWoman]

Thank you kindly. I don't always succeed but I try desperately. I've been telling my husband that moms would do better over there for the last three weeks. Show me ANY mom worth her salt that wouldn't kill and kill quickly and messily if she thought her children were threatened and as far as I'm concerned, mine ARE!

Gun control is being able to hit what (who) you aim at!!

[ResistorSister]

Gun control is being able to hit what (who) you aim at!!

I will give you a big, AMEN, on that statement!

[ResistorSister]

Here is my collection of wooden spoons

Purchased at Lehman's Hardware
In Amish Country Ohio
All Hardwood spoon...Watch out Taliban!
;-)