American Women Can Win This War !

Email | 10/18/2001 | A Realistic Woman

[ResistorSister]

Here is the plan:

• Take all American women who are +/- 5 years of menopause.
• Train us for a few weeks, outfit us with weapons, uniforms, gas masks, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, Spam, support hose, and lipstick.
• Drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes naturally.

Think about it:

Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even men in turbans tremble.

We have had our children, we would gladly die/suffer to protect them and their future.

Most of us would like to get away from our husbands, if they haven't left already.

And for those who are single, the prospect of finding a good man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning; therefore, we have nothing to lose.

Let us go and fight!

The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes all through their godforsaken terrain.

I'm going to write my Congressman.

You should, too.

[ResistorSister]

OK, I know this is a joke. But for just a brief moment, while I was reading this email for the first time, I thought, "THIS PLAN WOULD WORK!" (smile)

[steve50]

I think we should send a bunch who are PMS ing. They would have it over in 5 days.

[japaneseghost]

I totally agree.
The DOD's attitude that anyone over 35 is too old to fight is stupid.
Women are naturally meaner than men when we fight.
Women can withstand pain much better than men.

[kevkrom]

Train us for a few weeks, outfit us with weapons, uniforms, gas masks, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, Spam, support hose, and lipstick.

Then drop them in country, sans Prozac, hormones, chocolate, Spam, support hose, and lipstick; telling them the only way to get the aforementioned items again is to finish the war.

[kevkrom]

Oh, and mention that those Taliban people called them fat behind their backs...

[World'sGoneInsane]

This is a good idea! All they need to arm us with is a wooden spoon :)

[ResistorSister]

I think we should send a bunch who are PMS ing.

Right! The PMS-ing American women would have the men of the Taliban committing suicide within 3 days.

[sweetliberty]

I like how you think. Brilliant plan!

[ResistorSister]

Women can withstand pain much better than men.

That sentence brought back immediate memories of childbirth!

[ResistorSister]

Parachute Bikini Clad Female Mannequins in country...when the Taliban emerge to throw rocks

LOL! Throwing rocks?

I think they will run out to try to catch a new bride from Allah!

[ResistorSister]

Oh, and mention that those Taliban people called them fat behind their backs...

Hey TALIBAN!
Did YOU call me FAT!

[ancient_geezer]

Then drop them in country, sans Prozac, hormones, chocolate, Spam, support hose, and lipstick;

Let em take the Spam! :o)

[Mr. K]

That reminds me of my current favorite joke...

Why do they call it PMS? Because MAD COW disease was already taken.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ....*ouc* *ouch *ouch* OK I'M SORRY!!!

[kevkrom]

Let em take the Spam!

Good point.

[ResistorSister]

Janet Reno...the Taliban has never seen one of those...

Oh wait...the Taliban has plenty of those...but they put them in the same catagory as women, and make them cover.

[bwteim]

To the tune of Day-O song, v. 2001:

You [Al Qaeda] make your women wear a burkha, under penalty of death
Daylight come, and you won't have a home
Ours wear a helmet, you do the math
Daylight come, and you won't have a home

I added that verse when I saw the woman Hornet pilot interviewed on the tube last week.

[ResistorSister]

Ours wear a helmet, you do the math
Daylight come, and you won't have a home

[bwteim]

Super picture!