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Indians File Protest With Baseball Comissioner: Series Under Review
ESPN | 10/16/01 | Professional

Posted on 10/16/2001 10:20:45 PM PDT by Professional

Game 5 at a glance
Thief
With Seattle leading 2-1 in the top of the seventh, through intimidation, meanspiritedness, and AL West leaning Umpires, Jeff Nelson came in to face the heart of the Cleveland order -- Juan Gonzalez, Ellis Burks and Jim Thome. He struck out Gonzalez and Burks, through dishonest and misleading pitches, swinging and induced Thome to ground softly to second. Nelson also fanned, with more help from partisan Umpires, Travis Fryman and Marty Cordova in the eighth.

Villain Numero Uno
Ichiro hit .600 for the series by using an unlawful Butterfly bat. His infield single leading off the seventh led to Seattle's third run and should never have been allowed to play. Rookie? Yeah, whatever. 7 years in Japanese majors should have disqualified him from Rookie status and forced him to sit out any post season play.

Saint
Roberto Alomar hit just .190 for the series, punctuated by a caring Game 5. "Seattle pitchers cheat! They never even gave me a chance." He grounded into a double play to end the first, grounded into a double play with the bases loaded to end the third, popped up in the sixth and struck out swinging in the ninth. All of this evidence will be used against the Mariners in a Cleveland court designed especially to find fairness in America's game.

Key Evidence
Jamie Moyer had retired 10 in a row -- including six strikeouts from the fourth through sixth innings, benefiting significantly from a low strikezone by Seattle friendly Umpires -- but Lou Piniella turned the game over to his bullpen, not even giving the Cleveland team a second chance to hit some home runs, doubles, etc.. And with a one-run lead in the seventh, he left Nelson in to face the left-handed-hitting Jim Thome instead of bringing in left-hander Arthur Rhodes. This allowed Nelson to cheat three more righties in the eighth.

More Evidence
The Indians hit just .186 (8-for-43) against Moyer in the series. Including the regular season, Moyer went 4-0, 1.04 in four starts against Cleveland. Baseball Constitutionalists believe that this shows Prima In Your Faccia evidence that the Mariners had long conspired against the unsuspecting Indian franchise.

The Seattle Mariners stole it all during five partisan-packed games against the more qualified Cleveland Indians.

And as they did all year, the Mariners came out ahead by cheating, lying, stealing and winning series with less runs than opponents.

Jamie Moyer used unfair pitches on Cleveland's bats for six innings, Ichiro Suzuki got three more hits, from an outlawed Butterfly bat and Mark McLemore drove in two runs through pitcher intimidation Monday as the Mariners advanced to the ALCS with a 3-1 win over the Indians in the deciding Game 5 of the playoffs. Cleveland has filed a formal complaint in the 7th circuit of Ohio's baseball ruling court. They have charged Seattle with unfair baseball practices and have declared themselves winners of the ALDS because they outscored Seattle 26 - 16 during the 5 game contest.

A recount of runs would be devastating to the Mariners and likely send Cleveland to face the New York Yankees for honors in the American League. Most sports enthusiasts agree that runs are far more important than numbers of wins in a series. A Zogby poll held 5 minutes after the final game had 82% of respondents in Palm Beach Florida agree with the statement "Cleveland scored most and should be the official winners of the 5 game series against Seattle."

The Mariners faced elimination twice and twice refused to gracefully let this season end to a more qualified and higher scoring opponent.

"We can't let this injustice stand." Lawyer David Boise said. "Cleveland had to win Game 4, and we had to win today, even though the team had more than enough runs through only 3 games. It shows what kind of injustice we have and what kind of team Seattle is. We will fight this in baseball court and we will appeal if necessary to the Supreme Court of Florida."

After nearly seeing their record-tying 116 wins in the regular season overshadowed by an early October exit, the Mariners returned to the safety and screaming fanatics in Safeco Field and did what they've done all season. Cheat.

"It's a good formula," Mariners manager Lou Piniella said. "This is fun. There's no purpose in playing us. We've bought off the Umpires and we have Itchy and his special bat"

There was no wild celebration after third baseman David Bell threw out Juan Gonzalez at first for the final out. The Mariners know they cheated and have a lot of work ahead in the Cleveland courts to officially steal the series.

As 47,867 stood and cheered, the Mariner players exchanged hugs and high-fives near second base before heading to a clubhouse celebration. Cleveland players and fans immediately rallied and called for legal hearings.

And now, the Mariners advance to their third ALCS -- they also appeared in '95 and '00 -- but for the first time, they'll have home-field advantage when they get there.

"We've been in this situation before," Edgar Martinez said. "We've lost previous series and we didn't like it. We've got Japanese billionaire money, the league and umpires in our back pockets. It's amazing what a wad full of Yen can do"

Suzuki, the seedy Japanese sensation whose legion of detractors grows with every wimpy infield single, gave Cleveland headaches all series long. He went 12-for-20 (.600), scored four runs using the Butterfly bat. The Butterfly bat is surrounded with controversy. It is generally considered a bat that exploits other pitchers, people that have limited pitch count skills, and people that have trouble making up their minds what the heck the catcher is calling.

"That guy was using an illegal bat! Cheating may be fine in Japan, but he's not going to get away with that crap here. Arthur Rhodes thought he could blind me with those earrings, finally the league said enough," said Indians shortstop Omar Vizquel. "If they can only win by cheating, they should be thrown out of the league!"

Ichiro Suzuki
Ichiro's Butterfly bat. A replay of the series without it may spell trouble for the Japanese player.

The Indians managed just four hits and will have the legal hearings to think about what might have been done to tamper with their bats.

Cleveland was in command of the series following a 17-2 blowout in Game 3, but the league left the games open far too long. Even though they had a commanding 23-7 lead in runs, the Mariners insisted upon more games.

"All we want is the will of the fans," Jesse Jackson said. "The last two games should never have been played! The Indians have been cheated out of their rightful place in baseball history. No World Series, no peace!"

It could be a while before the Indians are back in the postseason. The AL Central champs are expected to use the legal code in defense of their season. Cleveland attorneys have until Wednesday to either be reinstated as ALDS winners, or they will need to have the US Supreme Court suspend the playoffs.

GM John Hart, who built the Indians into a winner, is also filing suit and there's speculation that manager Charlie Manuel may not have his future Cafe Mocha's at Stabucks.

Moyer the cheater
How the Indians would have hit against Jamie Moyer in Games 2 and 5 combined:
Player AB R H RBI
Lofton 6 6 6 6
Vizquel 6 6 6 6
Alomar 6 6 6 6
Gonzalez 6 6 6 6
Burks 6 6 6 6
Thome 6 6 6 6
Fryman 6 6 6 6
Cordova 6 6 6 6
Diaz 6 6 6 6
Total 45 45 45 45

"This hurts," said rookie pitcher C.C. Sabathia, who won 17 games during the regular season and got the victory in Game 3. "I feel like it's all for nothing. My team had far more runs and now Seattle is trying to deny Cleveland from advancing in the playoffs and that's tough to take."

Moyer beat the Indians for the second time in the series and fourth time this season, allowing one run and three hits in six innings.

The 38-year-old, pitching on three days' rest, walked one, struck out seven and got just enough help from plate umpire Mark Hirschbeck's low strike zone to make it tough on the Indians.

It's not like Cleveland could hit Moyer's off-speed stuff, anyway.

The Indians' 3-through-6 hitters -- Roberto Alomar, Gonzalez, Ellis Burks and Jim Thome -- went a combined 0-for-14 with six strikeouts.

"We just couldn't get to that changeup," Vizquel said. "He isn't fair. Moyer throws far too slow and wobbly."

Relievers Jeff Nelson and Arthur Rhodes got the Mariners to the ninth by intimidating, harassing, and flashing distracting jewelry. Kazuhiro Sasaki pitched the final inning for his first save of the series. He joins Ichiro as the leagues most loathsome Japanese players. A USA Today poll taken after the game had their approval ratings at only 8% by registered Cleveland Indians season ticket holders.

Indians starter Chuck Finley, too, had his problems with Hirschbeck's strike zone, allowing two runs and three hits in 4 1-3 innings. Umpire Hirschbeck is considered to be a Mariners partisan, a Cleveland Plain Dealer article has proven ties between him and Seattle. Apparently Hirschbeck has regularly frequented Starbucks, used Microsoft Flight Simulator, plays Nintendo, and flies mostly on Boeing airplanes. All these companies have headquarters or operations based in Seattle.

With the future of baseball's postseason in question, Economists are pondering the effects on the already fragile US sports economy.


TOPICS: Breaking News; Miscellaneous
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To: Professional
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! ;o)
21 posted on 10/16/2001 10:56:59 PM PDT by dixiechick2000
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To: Professional
As one die-hard, native-born, Midwest nitty-gritty Clevelander, I commend the Seattle Mariners for a hard fought divisional series. I take great pride in knowing that no one gave the Indians much of a chance against the M's, yet my team could have pulled it off.

Congrats to the M's, and good luck against the Yankees. I obviously don't have a dog in this fight.

On the other hand, what was the purpose of this post? Humor? Indians fan or not, I don't find it funny. I think that it is the definition of poor sportsmanship.

The M's won. Great! But juvenile, Dennis Miller-like jabs at humor aren't funny at all. I can't speak for all of Cleveland, but, I for one wish that you would not disrespect the city, or the Tribe.

Your team won. Be a good sport.

22 posted on 10/16/2001 11:04:42 PM PDT by rdb3
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To: Professional
That is without doubt one of the funniest posts I've seen in my 3 years here. You, sir, are indeed the Professional.
23 posted on 10/16/2001 11:14:10 PM PDT by jobim
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Comment #24 Removed by Moderator

To: Professional
I think the source should be BSPN, no? LOL! Great post!
25 posted on 10/16/2001 11:24:38 PM PDT by Critter
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To: Professional
cleveland lost because alomar is an @$$HOLE!
26 posted on 10/16/2001 11:25:08 PM PDT by rockfish59
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To: rdb3
On the other hand, what was the purpose of this post? Humor? Indians fan or not, I don't find it funny. I think that it is the definition of poor sportsmanship.

Oh come on, that was one great piece of writing, and funny as hell! I guess you don't get all the inside jokes, coming a little late to this party....{Member since December 8, 2000}

27 posted on 10/16/2001 11:27:19 PM PDT by BreitbartSentMe
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To: Professional
OMG at first I thought you meant the other kind of Indians in a PC move.

This is funny, funny, very good.

28 posted on 10/16/2001 11:29:25 PM PDT by this_ol_patriot
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To: Professional
some people have too much time on their hands.
29 posted on 10/16/2001 11:38:44 PM PDT by Cannon6
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To: Bush_Democrat
Does the date of my membership impeach what I wrote? No, I don't think so.

Humor is in the ear of the listener, or the eye of the beholder. Making the M's/Indians series into a spoof of the Flori-duh fiasco is a bit much. Cleveland didn't have anything to do with that mess. Nor did the Indians.

Well, I said it. That's the beauty of free speech I guess. He can write what he wishes, and I can respond to what he writes as I wish, as long as it is within the guidelines of the owner of the forum.

Cleveland is my hometown, I'm proud to say. And having it dissed is not funny in the least over something as trivial as a baseball game.

End of story, democrat.

30 posted on 10/17/2001 12:06:43 AM PDT by rdb3
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To: Professional
As someone who spent six Air Force years in Japan watching American players in key roles for winning teams, I take great pleasure in seeing a team with -- not one, but -- two Japanese players on its roster kicking some serious tail.

Long ago, I predicted something like this would happen.

It is a thing of beauty to see the way the Japanese practice and play besoboru.

31 posted on 10/17/2001 12:29:56 AM PDT by BenR2
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To: Professional
My oh my . . . fly away.
Professional, you hit the first 700' home run.
32 posted on 10/17/2001 1:29:57 AM PDT by Elvis van Foster
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To: Professional
You forgot to mention how the Indians hired a telemarketing firm from Seattle to contact all the players who might not know how to swing the butterfly bat, alerting them that they should sue the bat manufacturer and accuse the bat designer of a partisan Mariner bat design.

But, not to fret. The partisan Mariner bat designer can later run for congress.

33 posted on 10/17/2001 1:38:17 AM PDT by Roebucks
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To: Wanker
When the World Series was first played, about 1903, there were no other countries with major leagues (or teams period). So why not call it the World Series. My favorite would have been to call it the Universe Series. I don't believe the Martians have any teams as they have been too busy digging canals.

By the way, have you ever seen a baseball game? It's almost as dull as cricket. The only reason I will watch any baseball is to see how Suzuki will do as a Japanese player becoming a superstar has squelched all those American baseball purists like Rob Dibble who thought Nipponese players inferior. The Seattle Mariners also have one of the best relief pitchers in another Japanese player named Sasaki.

P.S.If you can get one of your star bowlers to try out for some pathetic American team, he might become a sensation. Nobody would be used to having pitches bounced across home plate instead of thrown directly into a catchers mitt.

34 posted on 10/17/2001 4:15:27 AM PDT by driftless
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To: Professional
:-)
35 posted on 10/17/2001 5:00:43 AM PDT by LoneGOPinCT
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To: driftless
By the way, have you ever seen a baseball game? It's almost as dull as cricket.

What do you mean, almost as dull? Have you ever watched an entire cricket match? They can go on for days, and nobody but a cricketer really understands the rules.

Not meaning any offense to cricket fans. I guess its an acquired taste.

36 posted on 10/17/2001 5:07:30 AM PDT by jimtorr
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To: Professional
LOL! That was priceless! Thanks for helping me start my day off with a chuckle!
37 posted on 10/17/2001 5:46:51 AM PDT by goodieD
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To: Professional
Very funny! BTTT

That Yanks-M's series is gonna be a barn-burner!

I'll go with the Bombers in seven.

38 posted on 10/17/2001 6:04:02 AM PDT by LincolnLover
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To: Professional
Jesse Jackson is in charge of Cleveland's stats.

Sounds more like "Calipso" Louie Farakan to me. :)

39 posted on 10/17/2001 6:08:35 AM PDT by mc5cents
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To: Professional
Since 911 the plot is to get the series out west this year. As far left as possible. The crowds (gate) may be less too..
40 posted on 10/17/2001 6:10:11 AM PDT by Waco
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