"…if I had serious doubts about where I stood before God or were worried about losing my salvation if I sinned, it would absolutely destroy me. Having gone through that experience (of doubt) about 20 years ago, I remember all too well what it was like, and I do *not* know how I could deal with that again. It was horrible. I had no joy, I was depressed, I lost faith, I was afraid, I questioned the love of God, and I was totally focused on myself-----NOT a happy nor productive existence! I hope this answers your question."What strikes me here is that when you were focused on the fear of losing it, you were totally focused on yourself -- "not a happy or productive existence!" as you put it.
I appreciate that answer because it infers that when you felt assurance again, you no longer totally focused on yourself. This, in my own experience is a good guide of spiritual condition: how much of our focus is on our well-being vs. that of others?
Do you see a bit of paradox there? Your experience was one I didn't expect or consider in asking the question.
For me, when I think or observe someone consumed, or focused, on their own personal assurance of eternal salvation, I observe one wrapped up in self and selfish reward – a near certain way to diminish in our conscious relationship with the divine. That is what has often turned me away from "believe and receive" preaching.
However, you've given an example of a flip side, and for that I'm very grateful - for your experience and for your relating it to me.
Thank you very much and best wishes…
I remember all too well what it was like, and I do *not* know how I could deal with that again. It was horrible. I had no joy, I was depressed, I lost faith, I was afraid, I questioned the love of God, and I was totally focused on myself-----NOT a happy nor productive existence! I hope this answers your question."
From D-fendr
What strikes me here is that when you were focused on the fear of losing it, you were totally focused on yourself -- "not a happy or productive existence!" as you put it.
I appreciate that answer because it infers that when you felt assurance again, you no longer totally focused on yourself. This, in my own experience is a good guide of spiritual condition: how much of our focus is on our well-being vs. that of others?
D-fendr,I believe you are saying that one can not find security in ones own salvation until he forgets his own and becomes more concerned in others, is that what you are saying?
If so, I disagree, because there in no stronger motivating force then saving our own butt, and once you have that secured, then you are ready to help others.
How can a man inspire someone to win a race when he has never finished one in his life?
You're welcome, D-fendr. BUT, I don't think I understand what you are saying about assurance of salvation. Would you reword that first paragraph above? I'm interested in what you're saying, especially how it relates to "believe and receive" preaching. Thanks.