Sorry Marine -- You're Too Old

Smoke Signal (Vanity) Times | 10-3-01 | CHIEF negotiator

[CHIEF negotiator]

The nerve of that Marine Corps recruiter telling me I'll too old to re-up!

I said,

"But I'm a 2nd Force Recon Scout Sniper that can still pic-a-tic off a gnat's ass @ 1K meters, in a snow storm! We lay-in-wait, and over the last 30 years I've had a lot of experience. Snipers only need to be able to "snoop & poop" and carry a 50 caliber. We don't have to do 50 squat thrusts before lights out, or hump 20 miles in full pack before sunrise! Put me up against your best 20 year old. It takes a lot to get a snipers heartrate up, 'cause we've been trained to "relax" if you want "one shot -- one kill", and I invented "relax".

I'll die my hair to cover the gray, get lippo-suction and a face-lift, if you can push this paperwork through, Sergeant."

He didn't go for it. Should I lie about my age?

MARINES

THE PRESIDENT'S OWN

[COB1]

I'm a little early for our birthday, Gyrene, but check out my link to get in the spirit!

[RaceBannon]

We ARE part of the Navy...the MEN'S DEPARTMENT!!!

[KneelBeforeZod]

[clamper1797]

Gentlemen there are battles to be fought right here at home against our "domestic enemy". I have absolutely no objection to jumping into a crowd full of hippies to save our stars and stripes from burning.

[CHIEF negotiator]

Thanks for the lead in Pappy...

You ain't too old. You're too mean. You'll scare the recruits.

Who is Force Recon?

Force Recon is romping, stomping, hell, death and destruction. The
finest fighting machine the world has ever seen. We were born in a
bomb crater, our mother was a grenade launcher, and our father was the
devil. Each moment that I live is an additional threat upon your life.

I am a rough looking, roving soldier of the sea. I am cocky,
self-centered, overbearing, and I do not know the meaning of fear. For I
am fear itself. I am a green, amphibious monster made of blood and guts
who rose from the sea, festering on anti-Americans throughout the
globe. Whenever it may arise, and when my time comes, I will die a
glorious death on the battle field, giving my life to mom, the team and
the American flag.

We stole the eagle from the Air Force, the anchor from the Navy, and
the rope from the Army. On the 7th day, while God rested, we over-ran
his perimeter and stole the globe, and we've been running the show ever
since. We live like soldiers and talk like sailors and slap the hell outta
them both. Soldier by day, lover by night, drunkard by choice,

RECON BY GOD!!!

USMC 2nd Force Recon (Scout Sniper ’67 – ’73)

The recruiter wasn't impressed with my resume.

[clamper1797]

I know they probably would out number me 100 to 1 but to be fair I would let them call in reinforcements

[LadyX]

Tell me where to address your 'I CARE' packages!!

God bless, dear friend...

[COB1]

Hey, Tonkin, what's the age cut-off on the Auxilliary?
I'll bet they have one in Texas, too!
Will they take old grunts?
I'm jealous as hell, you know!!

[LadyX]

"but check out my link to get in the spirit!"

Of course I already had found it!...:)))
Older Marines never sleep - they stay vigilant and wait for new opportunities!

[razorback-bert]

Okay, try one of my custom made fruitcakes.

Matter of fact, let's bomb 'em with my fruitcakes, pork chops and Playboy.

[AppyPappy]

I used to live with one. Strange guy. Slept with the front door wide open but kept a machete under the mattress.

"My momma got kicked out of the Marines for fighting"....Dusty Rhodes.

[COB1]

"I have absolutely no objection to jumping into a crowd full of hippies to save our stars and stripes from burning."

PLEASE, CALL ME FIRST !!

Don't hog the fun !!

[timydnuc]

Ranger, 101 Airbourne, VietNam. Called twice, ready to go. It's my birthday today. I was born in 1947. Decorated, good Ranger. At 54 I ain't goin' to the war, they told me NO. I could train the troops that are going, so could you! I think that they are wasting good resources. We have much to give to those that are ready to serve.

[CHIEF negotiator]

Thanks COB1, saved, bookmarked, highlighted, printed, folded up, put in wallet . . . so everytime I buy sumpthin', I hear the Marine Corps Hymn.

[beowolf]

Yada, yada, CHIEF...I was USRA at the same time you were playing marine! Best of times, worst of times, etc.....;)

[MissAmericanPie]

Sorry CHIEF but I feel better with guys like you in country, just in case.

[COB1]

Heck, bert, you don't want to leave anything for our troops to do!!

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

"Your going back in"

Well again, it's not exacltly like being in the military,
BUT it gives me a chance to help the Coast Guard, thru the Coast Guard Auxiliary.
And I will take an oath to defend the Constitution and will be reqiured to
wear a uniform while performing Coast Guard Auxiliary duties.
Since I live on the Oregon Coast it gives me a chance
to help do things that will free up the Coast Guard for more urgent matters.
For example the Coast Guard Auxiliary can assist in military and/or boarding parties but not actually participate.
So a Coast Guard Auxiliary boat could take Coast Guard crews to board a ship,
but would not be allowed to actually board the ship with them.
The time I spend is whatever I "pledge", more if I want.
But just like the military, you have to train
and pass tests before you can actually perform duties.
Oh and yeah, I still have my medals, somewhere,lol and I will wear them proudly.

[LadyX]

I always thought the best use of your fruitcakes, r-b, was to convert 'em to mines!
Just the right size!

(((hugs to you and beowolf)))