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This was supposedly posted on a CNN news board. It was posted last night on Free Republic; I ran a search for it but couldn't find it again. At any rate, I thought it was worthy of re-posting...even though he left out Michael Jackson
1 posted on 09/27/2001 12:20:43 PM PDT by geaux
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To: geaux
This needed a section to cover that we:

'Drive on a Parkway - and Park on a Driveway'.

Call items sent by car a "Shipment"

then call items sent by boat..."Cargo"

We make Coyboys wear Two Spurs, when everyone knows that when one side of a horse goes, the other side goes, too.

We don't require Real Estate Agents to sell houses near an Airport specifically to deaf people.

All of our children tell us, their parents, that they want to 'Live their own life' and to let them 'think for themselves'...then watch as they dress and talk just like every other child in the neighborhood.....

Yep..Those Afghans are much more crazy that we silly Americans.....NOT!!!!!!!!

57 posted on 09/27/2001 8:57:32 PM PDT by Alabama_Wild_Man
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To: geaux
What I want to know is who gave those terrorists the idea that Americans ever back down from going to war?

I mean, we invaded Granada, for Pete's sake! We took the 4th largest army in the world and turned it into the 2nd largest army in Iraq in 36 hours. We dropped nukes on Japan and killed more Germans in ONE RAID on Dresden than all Americans COMBINED were lost to the Japanese and Germans in WW2. We took Cuba from Spain and New Mexico from old Mexico just because we felt like it. We won so many Indian wars that we stopped giving them individual names. We hadn't even heard of Korea or French Indochina/Vietnam, but we went to war for a few friends of ours over there just because that's the kind of guys we are.

Serbia, Somalia, Bosnia, Sudan, even Barbary pirates.

So then these jokers come along and kill over 6,000 Americans with our own planes while taking down two of our prestigious buildings?! Heck, we weren't even mad at poor Serbia and look at what we did to their undeserving butts.

Let's face it, other nations just DO NOT understand that Americans won't back down. We stand our ground. Tom Petty even wrote a song about it, and how's THAT for just how crazy we are?!

59 posted on 09/27/2001 10:34:47 PM PDT by Southack
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To: geaux,snow Bunny
We put little sweaters on dogs.

Hey! they get cold! What's so crazy about that? OOPS! Never mind, don't answer that,LOL.

67 posted on 09/28/2001 9:00:16 AM PDT by Teacup
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To: geaux
"That's what you were going to say, wasn't it? We think war is a John Wayne movie, -- with good guys and bad guys, as simple as that. Well, you know something, Mr. Limey Poofter? You're right. And let me tell you who the bad guys are. They're us. WE BE BAD.

"We're the baddest-assed sons of bitches that ever jogged in Reeboks. We're three-quarters grizzly bear and two-thirds car wreck and descended from a stock market crash on our mother's side. You take your Germany, France and Spain, roll them all together and it wouldn't give us room to park our cars. We're the big boys, Jack, the original, giant economy size new and improved butt kickers of all time. When we snort coke in Houston, people lose their hats in Cap d'Antibes. And we've got an American Express card credit limit higher than your piss-ant metric numbers go.

"You say our country's never been invaded? You're right, little buddy. Because I'd like to see the needle-dicked foreigners who'd have the guts to try. We drink napalm to get our hearts started in the morning. A rape and a mugging is our way of saying 'Cheerio.' Hell can't hold our sock hops. We walk taller, spit farther, f**k longer and buy more things than you know the names of. I'd rather be a junkie in a New York City jail than king, queen and jack of all you Europeans. We eat little countries like this for breakfast and s**t them out before lunch."

(From Holidays In Hell, "Life Among The Euro-Weenies," by P. J. O'Rourke.)

70 posted on 09/28/2001 10:18:43 AM PDT by BlueLancer
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To: geaux
...Beverly Hills mansion... I thought the Heaven's Gate loons were near San Diego.
73 posted on 09/28/2001 2:19:04 PM PDT by ValerieUSA
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To: geaux
Oh, and don't forget our crazy leader, who said that your interpretation of your religion will be buried in the unmarked grave of all the other totalitarian systemic lies, like Communism and Facism, etc.

He's wilder and crazier than yer Ayatollas and yo mamma bin lobbins an what have yew, cause he's a Texican an ya don't mess with them crazy Texicans!!!

77 posted on 09/28/2001 7:06:53 PM PDT by SierraWasp
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To: geaux
Mrs. Pharmboy yelled into the 'puter room: "What are you laughing about?" I printed it out so she could enjoy this also...brilliant! (as our friends the Brits say).
80 posted on 09/29/2001 6:28:01 PM PDT by Pharmboy
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To: geaux
As a Corporal in the United States Marine Corps I am extremely offended by your assumption that as a military member I was unable to attend college. As a matter of fact, I recieved a scholarship to go to numerous universities. However, I decided not to attend any school or university immediately. Eventually, I did go to college but not being satisfied with the supposed challenges I joined the Corps. Myself and many other fellow Devil Dogs couldn't disagree more with your statement. If that is truly your opinion of us and our intellect why would you trust your freedom, life and liberties to us?
87 posted on 11/08/2001 10:35:45 AM PST by Proud Marines
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To: geaux
Haha! That's great stuff! I'm sending it to everyone I know... Michael Jackson would've been a nice touch though. And don't forget Dennis Rodman.
88 posted on 11/08/2001 10:41:01 AM PST by maxwell
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To: geaux
We (Americans) were nuts to think we could spit an atom.

Then, we were nuts enough to use it on Japan.

Believe me we are insane enough to use it again...

What was that line in Red Dawn, to paraphrasing: There were a billion Muslims 30 minutes ago.

5.56mm

93 posted on 11/08/2001 11:27:00 AM PST by M Kehoe
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To: geaux
Bump
96 posted on 11/08/2001 11:44:07 AM PST by Fiddlstix
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