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We're More Nuts Than You
Free Republic | 9/21/01 | Orion Ramsey

Posted on 09/27/2001 12:20:43 PM PDT by geaux

Were More Nuts Than You
Orion Ramsey - Friday,
09/21/01, 2:35:00pm
(#58980 of 58989)

To those extremists that perpetrated this crime against our nation, I have a warning for you. There are those of us who look at your actions as irrational, twisted, and completely inhuman. By all measures, what you have done can only be seen as insane.

I have news for you. We're more nuts than you, and it should scare you s***less.

You may think that when you die for your cause, you go to Paradise with 72 virgins, can leave reservations for 70 members of your family, all your sins are forgiven, and you sit at the side of Allah. Big deal. We had 39 guys who rented a Beverly Hills mansion, cut off their nuts, built a web site, and proceeded to poison themselves to death to hitch a ride with aliens out on the Hale-Bopp comet.

You shoot guns into the sky to celebrate victories over enemies, and people are killed by the bullets raining down on them. We not only do this for New Year's Eve in some cities, but we burn houses down, tear up streets, loot and sack our stores, and beat our selves senseless when our sports teams win championships. Sports teams!

We made a sequel to Police Academy 5. We gave an award for singing to two guys who never even sang. We put little sweaters on dogs. We shot John Lennon six times and didn't even aim for Yoko Ono. We think Elvis is still alive. We put Braille on drive-up automatic teller machines.

We think that a simple button on a web site that says "Do not click if you're under 21" will do anything but cause a person under 21 to click on it.

We take a large chunk of the island on which those buildings you destroyed sat and pretend that it isn't a part of our country after all, let people fly in to our airports that we want to kill, drive them in limousines to speak against us on this "pretend territory" land, let them drive back to our airport, and let them fly them back home without a scratch.

We sell hot dogs in packages of ten and the buns in packages of eight. We can't even decide if pitchers should have to bat for themselves or not. All those baseball fields we've got. none of them are even remotely the same size.

We gave millions of dollars to a guy that told us that God was going to kill him if he didn't raise enough money. When he didn't get enough money, he didn't die. So we gave him more money in celebration of the fact that God didn't make him die.

We've managed to keep the formulas for Coca-Cola and Kentucky Fried Chicken secret for decades, we encrypt the most banal communications on our Information Superhighway, and yet we given away our most important nuclear secrets to the Chinese and Russians at the drop of a hat.

And yet, with all this on the A-1 Psycho balance sheet, you still think you're more nuts than us that this won't result in your complete and utter annihilation? One way or another, your way of life will be over, period.

Freedom's kind of a crazy, kooky, nutty thing when you look really close at it and all the bizarre and loony things that can result from it, but it's better than any other ideas anybody else has come up with. It's been that way since 1776, and built to last no matter how insanely we try to screw it up on a daily basis. We are even so nuts and ruthless enough as a nation to start insanely tearing at those of ourselves that even remotely resemble you in such rancorous, deplorable, and angry ways that will make you wonder if Allah has enough glue to piece enough of you back together for a flesh paperweight in Paradise.

We may not know where you are now, but when we do I guarantee you that the majority of our high school children will still have no idea where on the globe where you are or where you will end up being buried. But we will send them anyway, and we will allow those of them that went into the armed services because they didn't manage to get into college still rain down Hell and fire on your worthless hides. It will all come down on you, because we're nuts enough to give all four of our branches of military services extremely powerful and deadly aircraft even though only one of them is actually called the Air Force.

Picking a fight with the most insane nation on Earth with the hope that your message and influence will spread throughout the world, well, that's just downright stupid.


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To: Free State Four
We [even] made a sequel to Police Academy 5

Priceless.

81 posted on 09/29/2001 6:31:43 PM PDT by Pharmboy
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To: Pharmboy
We [even] made a sequel to Police Academy 5 Priceless.

Who could possibly destroy such a culture? We are INVINCIBLE!!!! :o) fsf

82 posted on 09/29/2001 6:49:59 PM PDT by Free State Four
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To: Free State Four, TroutStalker
I dragged my sorry, sad a$$ around for two weeks

Same here. Something they showed on tv a few days after the terrorist attacks struck me as funny and I started laughing. Would never have imagined before I would feel guilty for laughing.

Troutstalker, I went to a Depression Glass show at the Sermon Center in Indep. yesterday. Asked the girl at the information desk if it had been fumigated since Gore's visit. She laughed and said she had asked the same thing.

83 posted on 09/30/2001 6:23:33 AM PDT by barker
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Bttt.
84 posted on 10/29/2001 10:56:43 PM PST by Ouachita
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To: Ouachita
Oh yeah, were so crazy that we listen to talking heads like Dan Rather, Peter Jennings and Tom Brokaw and think they are really telling us the truth!

Were so crazy that we let idiots re-define the Constitution to mean things that it never was supposed to (e.g. Abortion, Separation of Church and State....etc.).

Were even so crazy that we believe that the CIA, NSA and FBI had no clue that your Islamic Jihad Warriors were planning to fly our own commericial airliners into buildings.

Oh yeah, Americans are crazy as hell

85 posted on 10/29/2001 11:22:31 PM PST by TaZ
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To: Alberta's Child
Shero would definitely be the one to recognize "nuts".
86 posted on 10/29/2001 11:31:43 PM PST by Lancey Howard
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To: geaux
As a Corporal in the United States Marine Corps I am extremely offended by your assumption that as a military member I was unable to attend college. As a matter of fact, I recieved a scholarship to go to numerous universities. However, I decided not to attend any school or university immediately. Eventually, I did go to college but not being satisfied with the supposed challenges I joined the Corps. Myself and many other fellow Devil Dogs couldn't disagree more with your statement. If that is truly your opinion of us and our intellect why would you trust your freedom, life and liberties to us?
87 posted on 11/08/2001 10:35:45 AM PST by Proud Marines
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To: geaux
Haha! That's great stuff! I'm sending it to everyone I know... Michael Jackson would've been a nice touch though. And don't forget Dennis Rodman.
88 posted on 11/08/2001 10:41:01 AM PST by maxwell
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To: Proud Marines
I'm hoping that you're being sarcastic and I'm too stupid to pick up on it. But if you're not, and you actually think this piece was written with one iota of seriousness, I feel really sorry for whoever has to live with you.
89 posted on 11/08/2001 10:57:17 AM PST by geaux
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To: mykdsmom
*
90 posted on 11/08/2001 11:04:53 AM PST by Constitution Day
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To: bootyist-monk
bootyist,

Is your real name Orion Ramsey?

Whether it is or not, this one has the potential to be e-mailed, modified, e-mailed some more, and posted 1,000,000,000,000,000 times on Free Republic,
just like your "I am a Bad Republican" that got twisted around, misappropriated, & reposted.

FRegards!
CD

91 posted on 11/08/2001 11:10:23 AM PST by Constitution Day
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To: gridlock
Sorry, gridlock, wasn't Frank.

Frank kicked those MOVE idiots out of a house about 8 years before the "bomb". By the next morning, the house was not only gone, but the basement was filled and the property was PAVED! Frank Rizzo wanted a tank for the city. I would have personally bet that he would have ridden the thing down Broad Street, with a chrome plated helmet and a pair of pearl handled .45 Colt SAA's like Patton. The people would have loved the show. Frank always did things with panache, and with a personal intensity that left no doubt about who was in charge. He is sorely missed by all, even if he was part of the Democratic machine.

The mayor who "bombed" the city was Wilson Goode, and the police commissioner Gregore Sambor, who, bullhorn in hand, walked into the center of the street and said "Attention MOVE, this is America". What followed was inevitable. One could almost hear the road runner going "beep beep" during the proceedings. I was standing on my roof (I live right outside the city) watching this thing go down. It was an amazing, tragic circus of city officials running in ever decreasing circles until they imploded.

Look at it this way, the people who lived there, and had their houses burned, had brand new homes built for them, including the person who started this thing in the first place. That particular house is staffed 24/7 by Philadelphia Police. The rest began suing the contractors and city soon after they moved back in, and are still doing so. Only in Philadelphia! What a city! ;-)

Keep the Faith for Freedom

MAY GOD BLESS AND PROTECT THIS HONORABLE REPUBLIC

Greg

92 posted on 11/08/2001 11:14:54 AM PST by gwmoore
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To: geaux
We (Americans) were nuts to think we could spit an atom.

Then, we were nuts enough to use it on Japan.

Believe me we are insane enough to use it again...

What was that line in Red Dawn, to paraphrasing: There were a billion Muslims 30 minutes ago.

5.56mm

93 posted on 11/08/2001 11:27:00 AM PST by M Kehoe
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To: Centurion2000
"(Except them Russkies have managed to get lower taxes than us .... what's up with that?)"

they don't have anything left to tax....
they're "to each according to their needs"... was in rubles.....not dollars

94 posted on 11/08/2001 11:28:30 AM PST by hoot2
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To: TexRef
"...pretend that it isn't a part of our country after all..."
==============================================

I see that you posted a "???" to the above statement...

Unless I miss my guess, that reference is to the U.N. Building - the land on which it stands isn't United States' soil.

I'm not exactly positive as to whom it belongs, as the un isn't a world power.

It's a conglomeration of Terrorist States that are bent on the destruction of the very nation that funds each and every one of it's (the un) Peacekeeping (Read: Terrorist) activities.

The United States should charge them rent, for everything from parking spaces to the air that building displaces. Something in the neighborhood of, say, 10 Billion Dollars per year should be a good start.

95 posted on 11/08/2001 11:43:49 AM PST by Alabama_Wild_Man
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To: geaux
Bump
96 posted on 11/08/2001 11:44:07 AM PST by Fiddlstix
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To: Alabama_Wild_Man
Unless I miss my guess, that reference is to the U.N. Building - the land on which it stands isn't United States' soil.

You're absolutely right of course... Something that I wasn't aware of until this thread! It's totally absurd!!!

97 posted on 11/08/2001 5:08:38 PM PST by TexRef
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To: TexRef
It's totally absurd!!!
=======================

Kinda makes one proud to be an Amurriken - don't it???{/tongue in cheek}

98 posted on 11/08/2001 7:11:45 PM PST by Alabama_Wild_Man
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To: geaux
I understand that the article written was supposed to be humorous. But frankly I and many others don't see the humor in being put down, regardless of how sarcastic it was supposed to be. Besides the situation many of us face daily especially after September 11th is quite serious considering some of us will not come home. I don't really think that anyone prepared to die for those that were taken on September 11th should be part of any sarcastic remarks.
99 posted on 11/09/2001 5:04:58 AM PST by Proud Marines
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To: Proud Marines
I don't know which "many others" you're to which you are referring. You've provided the only negative response on this thread.
100 posted on 11/09/2001 7:12:46 AM PST by geaux
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