Posted on 09/13/2001 1:55:57 PM PDT by madprof98
DEAR ABBY: At our Halloween party last year, which included both parents and children, my brother and I somewhat jokingly debated the two presidential candidates. My brother was for Bush. I was for Gore.
Sometime during the evening, my then 11-year-old daughter asked me why her uncle was for Bush and I was for Gore. I explained why I was for Gore and gave her four or five reasons. She asked again why her uncle was for Bush. I told her to go ask him.
During the merriment of the evening, I forgot about the subject until we were on the way home and my daughter asked me how I could think that killing a little baby was OK. I was speechless! I asked her where she had gotten such an idea. She said her uncle had told her that Gore thought it was OK to kill babies, and if I was voting for him, so did I. I tried to explain about a woman's right to choose -- and that I DO think a woman should have that choice, but I was so shocked I hardly knew how to defend myself.
It has been nearly a year now. Ever since that night my daughter has been very distant toward me. I have tried to talk to her about it several times, but she refuses to discuss it.
I'm at my wit's end. My daughter is now 12 and our closeness has been destroyed. I found out her class made Mother's Day cards, but my daughter never gave hers to me. There are no more hugs and kisses at bedtime -- just "good night."
What can I do? I love my daughter with all my heart. I'd give anything to have her the way she was before.
-- DESTROYED MOTHER IN DALLAS
DEAR DESTROYED MOTHER: Sit your daughter down and tell her that the subject of a woman's right to choose is a controversial one, and that it is OK if she disagrees with you about it. It's a topic about which everyone has to make up her (or his) own mind. Her uncle thinks the way he does, and you love him in spite of it.
Explain that you are not in favor of killing babies, but that you feel it is important for a woman to have the right to choose. Some women's lives have been saved because they were legally empowered to make that choice. It wasn't always the case.
Tell her that as she grows older, you want her to examine her reasons for feeling the way she does about this subject -- but you also want her to be open to different points of view, because there are more than one, and people have a right to their own opinions. It may not heal the breach your brother has caused, but it's a beginning.
And finally, I urge you to talk to your daughter's uncle about this entire situation. He could help a great deal by reinforcing what you have said -- and he should. He was out of line from the beginning for having given your daughter his inflammatory answer to her question.
To choose what? The uncle got it right and the Mom's upset because she can't explain it away with slick political doubletalk. Kids can see right through to the real issues.
How generous of her......
Reality and truth hurt when some are faced with it.
Reality and truth hurt when some are faced with it.
And if Mom is pro-choice, will she allow her daughter to choose a different position?
That's because the murder of babies is indefensible.
Interesting how the innocent children understand that there is no such thing as a "fetus" -- it is a baby!
Hey, it was implied anyway. I guess twelve year olds can't rationalize as well as adults.
Out of the mouth of babes...
Stay strong kid.
Yeah, that will clear up the issue Abby!
The girl is 11 yr. old and as abhorrent as we find her mother's beliefs about "choice", it is not right (at that age) to undermine her relationship with her mother. IMO, it would have more appropriate for the uncle to state simply that he disagreed with Gore on the abortion issue. Anything beyond that should have been discussed with the mother beforehand.
I would be just as angry if the situation was reversed, and someone had told my 11 yr. old child that they voted against Bush because "he hates women and wants them to be oppressed by men."
Flame if you want, but I'm going off-line for a while.
With NOW's recently-announced support of post-partum abortions up to seven years after a child's birth, it's only a matter of time before it's politically correct to go after the 12 year olds. The kid has a right to worry.
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