[Hillary's Lovely Legs]

Dude, I would have sex on the brain if I remembered what sex was. And personally, I remember having sex on a bed, not on a brain.

[COB1]

From an e-mail by a lady friend:

"Subject: What I want in a man:

What I Want in a Man - Original List

• 1. Handsome
• 2. Charming
• 3. Financially successful
• 4. A caring listener
• 5. Witty
• 6. In good shape
• 7. Dresses with style
• 8. Appreciates finer things
• 9. Full of thoughtful surprises
• 10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)

• 1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
• 2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
• 3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
• 4. Listens more than talks
• 5. Laughs at my jokes
• 6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
• 7. Owns at least one tie
• 8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
• 9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
• 10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)

• 1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
• 2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
• 3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
• 4. Nods head when I'm talking
• 5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
• 6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
• 7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
• 8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
• 9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
• 10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)

• 1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
• 2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
• 3. Doesn't borrow money too often
• 4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
• 5. Doesn't retell the same joke too many times
• 6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
• 7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
• 8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
• 9. Remembers your name on occasion
• 10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)

• 1. Doesn't scare small children
• 2. Remembers where bathroom is
• 3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
• 4. Only snores lightly when asleep
• 5. Remembers why he's laughing
• 6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
• 7. Usually wears some clothes
• 8. Likes soft foods
• 9. Remembers where he left his teeth
• 10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)

• 1. Breathing
• 2. Doesn't miss the toilet"

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