[Forward the Light Brigade]

Mr. Z. Peace plan.
1. All Russians, and people who speak Russian are to leave Ukrainian soil and never return.
2. Crimea to be granted bases for US Navy and UK/ NATO Navy.
3. Putin is to surrender himself for trial for war crimes.
4. Russia is to pay Ukraine 400 Billion dollars to help rebuild Ukraine.
5. Russia must accept Gay people and become woke to Western Values.
6. Russia must give Ukraine free natural gas and oil for twenty years.
7. Russia must pay 100 million to Hunter Biden.
8. Russia must disband her military and junk her Nuke forces so she will never be a danger to world peace.

[BroJoeK]

Forward the Light Brigade: "Mr. Z. Peace plan." [supposedly]

1. "1. All Russians, and people who speak Russian are to leave Ukrainian soil and never return."

   So, first of all, my understanding is that pretty much every Ukrainian also speaks Russian, including Volodymyr Zelenskyy, so that part is pure nonsense.

   But as for Ukrainians who served in the Russian military, that could be a different story.
   You might remember -- after the US Civil War ended, there was a period of years during which former Confederate officials (Democrats!) were not permitted to vote or run for office, since they had fought for "another country" against the USA.
   Iirc, many had to sign loyalty oaths -- as rumor has it that Pres. Trump may require from our own corrupted (Democrats!) "Deep State".
   In due time, all former Confederates were effectively pardoned and all restrictions removed.

   I would not be surprised at similar actions with pretty much any restive ethnic Russian living in Russia's "Russkiy Mir" neighborhood.

2. "2. Crimea to be granted bases for US Navy and UK/ NATO Navy."

   Since Russia has no more Black Sea Fleet, Russia will not need bases for it in Crimea.
   So, NATO bases could be a good idea, perhaps even as a useful bargaining chip -- NATO will forget about putting NATO bases in Crimea if Russians submit their entire leadership for war-crimes trials in The Hague.
   That could be a fair deal...

   Sign in Vilnius, Lithuania:

   

3. "3. Putin is to surrender himself for trial for war crimes."

   Not just Putin, his entire war-criminal leadership, including the general officers who ordered war crimes.
   Of course, Russian's themselves could save everyone the costs and troubles of lengthy trials by just offing the SOBs.

4. "4. Russia is to pay Ukraine 400 Billion dollars to help rebuild Ukraine."

   Not even close -- I think it's at least $1 trillion and counting.
   Russians will be generations paying off the insanity of their current leadership.

   By the way, annual payments on reparations of $1 trillion at 3% interest over 50 years work out to roughly $27 billion per year, which could easily be paid by Russians simply eliminating all corruption from their military budget.
   Russia's nominal GDP is circa $2.1 trillion/year, so annual reparations payments of $27 billion (= ~1%) would not necessarily need reductions in other legitimate government services, including national defense.

   And if they don't like that fate, they might talk to the Germans about what their other options are.

5. "5. Russia must accept Gay people and become woke to Western Values."

   Russian Gay Pride Parade:

   Here you're just babbling Russian propaganda nonsense.
   Nobody cares what Russia does inside Russia's borders -- witness Vlad the Invader's Second Chechan War from 1999 to 2009, which killed over 50,000 and nobody cared.

   Europeans would only remotely care if a reformed Russia applied for European Union membership.
   Then Russia would have to meet EU human rights standards, which does include fair treatment for LGBTs, but not necessarily same-sex marriage.

6. "6. Russia must give Ukraine free natural gas and oil for twenty years."

   I think Ukraine's 2013 borders include plenty of its own natural gas, however, Russia's total reparations to Ukraine, of whatever amount is settled on, can be paid in whatever commodities are agreed to, including gas, oil or any other of Russia's abundant raw materials.

7. "7. Russia must pay 100 million to Hunter Biden."

   So far as I can tell, that debt was already paid years ago -- how do you think "The Big Guy" Old Joe Biden got all those 81 million votes in 2020?
   So, this item is easily disposed of...

   Of course, what would be really useful is valid evidence from Russia's FSB files on how many Western politicians and "influencers" Russians have bought and paid for.
   Wouldn't that open some eyes?!

8. "Russia must disband her military and junk her Nuke forces so she will never be a danger to world peace."

   That's pretty bold, and I doubt if we'd see such a demand in any context other than a new reformed Russia applying for NATO membership.
   Then I'm pretty sure that NATO would want to be certain the lunatics and kleptocrats who run Russia's military today are 100% gone from authority.

imho, yrmv