Woman who shot and killed boyfriend on Indy's northeast side says she suffered years of abuse from him

WTHR.com ^ | January 6, 2024 | Chase Houle

[marktwain]

She just kept going back until she had to kill him. I learned early to refuse to try to "help" the people involved in these sort of situations. The person "helping" often gets caught in the "crossfire". It is a mutual dance of destruction.

[ansel12]

I’ve never had to kill a girlfriend to break up with her, which is a good thing, because I think men are expected to just walk away from relationships that aren’t working or that they no longer desire to be in.

[Melinda in TN]

In this day and time, why do women stay with men that abuse them? I told my husband from day one, 40 years ago, that if he ever hits me, we’re done. He never has. I was a hot-headed redhead in our younger years, and I think he might have been afraid for his life. LOL

I have mellowed out, a lot! Still, nobody has to die over it. Just walk away.

[mikelets456]

So I can start using this excuse for politicians?

[TermLimits4All]

Although it might temp you, I’d refrain from doing that. At least for now.

[SauronOfMordor]

In this day and time, why do women stay with men that abuse them? I told my husband from day one, 40 years ago, that if he ever hits me, we’re done

That's the reaction of most women. But not all.

There are some women who appear to be addicted to the adrenaline rush of being with an unpredictably violent man. They crave that excitement, like some men crave dangerous sports. That's why they keep going back

Erin Pizzy, founder of the UK's first battered women's shelter, made that observation decades ago, and got a lot of flack from feminists over the book she wrote, "Prone to Violence".

[ComputerGuy]

I once had a case where the potential defendant testified before the grand jury. Before expiring, her boyfriend told us that he regularly beat her up. She walked.

[yldstrk]

Yes. Leave. I have heard it all from these women. They don’t want to leave the microwave behind was the one that took the cake.

Get the kids from school and leave. Get your self a job and support yourself and leave.

Oh, another one was well, he makes over a hundred thousand a year. Good one. Great reason to exist as the bass turd’s punching bag.

These women are pathetic. I say that as a woman. Thank God one who who has been threatened but never hit.

[marktwain]

They crave that excitement, like some men crave dangerous sports. That's why they keep going back

I have heard people say the sex, when they make up, is fantastic...

[Gay State Conservative]

Having worked for years in a big city ER I can assure Freepers that there are women who are badly mistreated,badly abused. In fact I can assure Freepers that there are women who are murdered by their husband/boyfriend/ex husband/ex boyfriend. Of the many bad memories I have of my time there one of my most vivid is having a young woman wheeled right past me as she was on her way to "Trauma 2". She was face up on the stretcher (so I saw her clearly) and she had a neat little bullet hole right in the middle of her forehead...about an inch above the bridge of her nose.

If I was a juror in this case I'd want to see evidence of abuse before I decided what punishment,if any,she deserved. ER reports...police reports...unbiased witnesses,etc. I'd also want to see evidence regarding the dead guy. Police reports...prison time...drugs/alcohol use,etc.

Some women surely exaggerate things like this but,like I said,there are more than a few very,very,very nasty husbands/boyfriends out there.

[marktwain]

Some women surely exaggerate things like this but,like I said,there are more than a few very,very,very nasty husbands/boyfriends out there.

You are absolutely correct. Nothing I wrote disputes anything you wrote.

[Gay State Conservative]

OK...tell me this: are women expected to just “walk away” when the guy says “it’s over”?

[ansel12]

What do you mean?

[Gay State Conservative]

Maybe you'd want to re-word your post..because you seem to be suggesting that when the woman says "we're done" he's not obliged to accept that declaration. At least that's the way *I* interpret it.

Maybe I've misunderstood your point.

[ansel12]

You misread it.

When you don’t like the relationship you move on, and that should apply to women as well, you don’t stick around until you feel it is time to murder the other person by shooting them or tossing gasoline on them while they sleep, or kill them because you carried the game so far that the two of you are literally in a fight to the death and a coroner is required to haul away the loser.

[Theophilus]

I was a hot-headed redhead

FTFY

So is my wife. The thrill always overcomes the fear.

[Melinda in TN]

So, some women like ‘bad boys’. I know some like that.

My mom was a stay-at-home mom when we were little. Dad was verbally abusive but not physical (with her). He was with us. Still, when I got older, I asked her why she stayed. She said, “I have five kids”. Back then it wasn’t as common for women to work outside the home. Mom didn’t even learn to drive until she had to start taking us to school on days we couldn’t walk. Most didn’t have any skills except for raising kids. In a lot of ways, it was a better, more natural, way of life and better for the kids, as long as it wasn’t an abusive relationship. After we were grown, Mom did work outside the home. She eventually admitted to me that even though Dad never hit her, she was afraid of him. I decided early on that I wouldn’t live in that type of environment, but I can understand why women in the 50’s and 60’s did.

[Melinda in TN]

I was a hot-headed redhead
FTFY

So is my wife. The thrill always overcomes the fear.

******************

😁

[Theodore R.]

Keen observation, Melinda

[Melinda in TN]

I’m a firm believer in the two-parent home and wish all women could stay home and raise the kids. Still, I struggle with why modern women choose to marry or stay with physically abusive men that beat them and/or their kids. Maybe they should take longer to get to know these men before marriage and avoid the whole situation. I know abusive women too. It’s not all on the men. Abusive people are not spouse material regardless of the time in history. Get to know the people you plan to spend the rest of your life with. Nobody gets killed that way. I knew my husband six years before we got married.