Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him. — 1 John 3:15
You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out his desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, refusing to uphold the truth, because there is no truth in him. — John 8:44
I suggest murder is turning away from God.
Repenting afterwards does not make the murder any different.
Whether you are beyond repentance, is another matter.
For if that first covenant had been faultless, then should no place have been sought for the second. For finding fault with them, he says, Behold, the days come, says the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah: Not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day when I took them by the hand to lead them out of the land of Egypt; because they continued not in my covenant, and I regarded them not, says the Lord.Heb. 8:7:13.For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the Lord; I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts: and I will be to them a God, and they shall be to me a people: And they shall not teach every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for all shall know me, from the least to the greatest.
For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more
. In that he says, A new covenant, he has made the first old. Now that which decays and waxes old is ready to vanish away.
Or this?
And all things are of God, who has reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and has given to us the ministry of reconciliation; To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and has committed unto us the word of reconciliation.2 Cor. 5:18-19.
You try to play God imputing people's sins to them not knowing the scripture or the power of God. You are of your Pharisee forefathers who Jesus said was of the devil.