I’m also a senior female who doesn’t have a lot of hand strength, so I have trouble racking our two 9mm handguns. I recently bought a Sig Sauer p365. It’s a great gun but again racking is difficult. This is because the little button you have to push up with your thumb while holding the gun correctly with the right hand and racking with the left is very stiff. I have given thought to buying a short shotgun.
Have you tried the Ruger EZ?
You should try one of the S&W EZ series pistols. They truly are light on the slide rack… particularly the 380. They also have a grip safety. Not perfect, but reliable, conveniently sized and easy to operate.