Posted on 07/25/2021 12:38:19 PM PDT by billorites
I hope this is the last column I ever have to write about the state’s Panic snitch line and the mentally ill Karens who keep calling it.
Even the Karens’ cult leader, Gov. Charlie Baker, claims to be resisting their desperate pleas to re-impose his idiotic lockdowns and mask nonsense.
H.L. Mencken once defined Puritanism as “the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.”
That’s what the Department of Public Health’s snitch line is all about. The callers — and whatever their gender, they shall all be known as Karen – are obsessed.
What drives Karen crazy is the possibility that not everyone is overcome by the abject terror she feels over a seasonal virus that overwhelmingly kills only the morbidly obese and the very elderly.
Let’s go straight to the snitch line.
First stop, Cy Tenney Field in Peabody. It’s May 4 and adult softball season has started, and Karen knows what that means.
“Large gatherings after the game, no protection and close contact including sitting around the parking lot all hours of the night drinking alcohol beverages.”
All hours of the night? Doesn’t that sound like something your grandmother would say?
“All of this takes places in the same parking lot as Little Leaguers play and parents park their cars.”
Could some of those parents in Peabody actually be the same people who were tailgating the previous evening after their softball game?
Next stop, the Kennedy Middle School in Natick. It is May 11 — a day which will live in Karen infamy.
“Students are being instructed to cut holes in masks for indoor band practice. This procedure is prohibited by CDC guidelines and common sense.”
Because it’s obviously “common sense” to try to blow a horn while wearing a mask.
On May 17, Karen goes to Logan Airport and is absolutely shocked because it’s … a normal day.
“Hundreds of people crowded on top of one another. Kiosk areas packed with people. Security lines were a ¼ of a mile long — jam-packed. No orderly lines. NO SOCIAL DISTANCING. Absolute chaos … All breaching protocol and no one in charge/in control.”
Do you notice how triggered Karen gets in any situation where no one is “in charge/in control?”
Next stop, the North End in Boston. Karen visits a restaurant on Salem Street.
“Owner claims he can do whatever he wants. Go see his Instagram and see how blatant he is. He claims he is paying off everyone.”
I certainly would hope so. The hacks at City Hall have to make a living, too.
Karen turns the corner onto Hanover Street and grabs a table at another ristorante.
“They sat a group of 12 in front of my 16-year-old child. After I mentioned, they ignored.”
Even before the Panic, Karen didn’t get out very often. How else do you explain message on June 26 from Chelmsford?
“Caller states a large gathering at highway rest stop — no hand sanitizer available, no soap, and the porta-potty is overflowing, so people are moving into the woods.”
Karen, “people” who frequent rest areas in Chelmsford don’t usually care much about the hand sanitizer. I thought the state shut down these rather notorious gathering places, but apparently the new stops are just as, uh, unsanitary.
Next time you feel the need to pull over at a Chelmsford rest area, Karen, take the advice of Attorney General Maura Healey and just “hold it.”
Speaking of X-rated entertainment, Karen’s next stop is in Tyngsboro.
“This is a strip club. One of the workers recently traveled to Florida, didn’t use a mask and is planning to work Friday. Customers are also not regularly wearing masks.”
Not wearing masks at a strip club! Someone call “Dr.” Sudders.
In Medford, Karen is appalled to see an MBTA bus driver “not wearing mask per state law. Also letting passenger on without a mask per state law.”
Hey Karen, think of the driver — would you really want to mix it up with anybody who’s riding a bus these days?
Moving south, Karen stops at a country club in Canton and observes … a wedding.
“I don’t think a single person was wearing a mask. And it was a fairly large wedding with people of all ages.”
One good thing about these latest dispatches from the snitch line. There is now some pushback from oppressed citizens. A Haverhill resident wants to know why government buildings remain shut down. (Answer: because hacks like not working.)
Normal Americans this time sent in multiple complaints about the town of Brookline’s insistence on keeping the Panic going.
How typical is it, though, that Brookline would reject freedom? The town is full of liberals, who insist on dividing all human activity into two categories: mandated (masks) and outlawed (fun).
Hey Brookline, give up on getting the masks back and concentrate on stopping the return of those happy hours that your Gov. Mike Dukakis stamped out in the name of Puritanism.
Once you block happy hours, Brookline, you can go after just plain happy.
One final snitch report. Karen visits a lumber yard in Watertown on May 4 and notices that no one is wearing a mask.
“They continue to treat this like a joke.”
I can’t imagine why.
[[“the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.”]]
That describes liberalism- not necessarily puritanism
I know many will disagree but there really is a push back happening and it is growing.
DJ Trump was exactly right when he said they will go too far and something will snap.
I’d like to send these Karens to the southern border and report whats going on there.
Hillenbrand in Indiana is the #1 casket maker in the USA - buy their stock now! The Delta will kill millions! Bodies will be lined up and down streets in every city!
I think that the average Karen could annoy even Kim Il Sung’s family! Maybe someone should post a suggestion that each and everyone of them should “Go fly a kite!” The ‘War on Terror’ of “See something, Say something” has metastasized into “See anything, Say the sky is falling!”
PLANDEMIC Puritanism.
Plagued by the possibility of people partying.
EC Washington wrote: “Hillenbrand in Indiana is the #1 casket maker in the USA - buy their stock now! The Delta will kill millions! Bodies will be lined up and down streets in every city!”
Should read: “Hillenbrand in Indiana is the #1 casket maker in the USA - buy their stock now! The VACCINES are POISON and will kill millions! Bodies will be lined up and down streets in every city!”
I would like to send them past the southern border
permanently
Even better. If they got kidnapped by the cartel, the cartels would pay the families to take them back.
Which modern style of worship most closely resembles the Puritans? (Hint: I know the answer.)
I hope Americans stay away from snitch lines. That is as un-American as it can be. Shades of Soviet tyranny. It’s always better to speak to the person directly if it seems you can do that without making it worse.
Is Stewart the male version of Karen?
I will happily donate a sturdy plastic bag to Karen, for her to wear tightly sealed over her head.
I think it should be “Kyle’’.
I've already started snapping at these damn' Karens. I've had enough. The last one I started walking right towards violently coughing and making them RUN the other way. That was just for fun.
One Karen recently came to my front door after not liking how my flowers were planted in front of my home. They ran away when I answered the door with my HnK 45ACP. (Note: it is my standard practice to answer my door with a weapon on my hands when I'm not expecting anyone.)
Another complained that the music was too loud coming out of my garage as I was washing my car in my own driveway. The dingy b*tch must've not noticed I had a high-pressure hose in my hands until I turned it towards her, squeezed the trigger and doused her good sending her running away.
When the local police showed up and asked if I turned the hose on her, I said "Yes, I felt threatened by her as she came up on my property, flailing her arms in a threatening manner and started yelling at me."
When asked if I wanted to press charges, I said HELL YES. She was arrested, released on $2.500 bond (Illinois requires 10% or $250)and the court date is set for September 9th. I can't wait to teach that b*tch a lesson. I've had more than enough of these Karen's (both male and female) and I'm done ignoring them. I'm fighting back every way I can.
I had fun picturing this.
A long time ago, when I was on an extended assignment in our Boston office, one of the long-termers told me that the definition of a good time in Boston is when you wake up naked on a pool table in Peabody.
Nobody else disagreed. I guess nobody had a good time after I got there, because I never saw it actually happen. Still, .......
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