[lee martell]

I can imagine Biden at one of those rare News Conferences talking to a reporter; “They won’t let me hold on to it”
......Hold on to what, Mr. Biden?
“The Football, the Nuclear Football! My assistants won’t even let me see it, let alone hold on to it. But Jill says I should worry about it, cause she knows where to find it!”

.....Suddenly Jen Psaki runs onstage, blocking the presidents view and shouts :This News Conference is OVER! The President has a scheduling conflict and APOLOGIZES!!”

[Thunder90]

Pelosi and Obama likely have the active footballs and biscuts.

[Delta 21]

The doomsday clock ticked a few times the night of the election but no one has noticed until now.