Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Our Christmas Tree Is A Scraggly Fire Hazard, And We Love It
The Federalist ^ | December 23, 2020 | Rich Cromwell

Posted on 12/23/2020 9:17:15 AM PST by Kaslin

While this year’s Cromwell Family Tree may be dry, scraggly, under-lighted, and not that impressive in its current form, it is going to be something to behold when it goes up in flames


2020 hasn’t offered much to celebrate, to put it mildly. Sure, we’ve all found our escapes, things that offer respite from Zoom meetings, for those of us fortunate enough to be able to transition to life through Zoom. People slowed down, spent more time together, cooked more. But sources of joy have been a bit farther between this year.

This is particularly true as we head into a holiday season in which we’re not supposed to celebrate with friends, unless we’re governors. We’re supposed to stay isolated, apart. We can shop online. We can order take-and-bake meals from restaurants. One normal thing we can do, at least in theory, is decorate a Christmas tree.

Except that all the being at home we’ve been doing meant a tree shortage this year, especially for those of us who buy and decorate trees on a more normal schedule. This is super especially true for those of us who moved into a new house this year, closing on December 4 and spending that weekend moving only to get snowed out the following weekend.

Thus, I found myself on a mission on the morning of December 16. I dropped the kids off at school (we’re fortunate enough to have in-person — thanks, school choice!) and began my quest.

I started at Walmart. They had trees, but they were small and bedraggled. I tried another Walmart. That location had nothing. I tried a local garden center and there it was, a real beauty, shining at me from afar. I wouldn’t even have to dig it up with my own hands.

It had a “sold” tag on it.

Sam’s Club had wreaths and nothing else. Another local nursery also had only wreaths. The shopping center with “tree” in the title sadly had nothing to do with tree sales. I looked at a nice full pine of some sort outside a bank and considered stealing it, but that would have required me to dig it up with my own hands.

Not wanting to spend the season in jail, I began contemplating the bedraggled numbers I’d seen at the first Walmart I’d visited and started heading back in that direction. Before arriving, though, I made a fateful decision and stopped at Lowe’s.

And there it was, a real beauty—if your idea of a real beauty is a scraggly, dry fire hazard. It does not have a lot of sap. It is not full. It is, however, very, very tall, which was apparently my only requirement this year.

See, one of the Cromwell Family Christmas traditions is me getting a tree that is far too large for the space. It usually involves having to cut part of the top and part of the trunk off to even stand it upright. In our new home, we have the space for my ridiculous trees. Yet I was thwarted by the aforementioned shortage.

So I bought the tallest Charlie Brown tree ever. It is so dry and light that I was able to easily get it on top of the car by myself, even though it’s about 12 feet tall. Somehow a majority of the remaining needles survived the drive home, where I was easily able to get it into the house and into the stand by myself. This part of the journey is where all the needles that had valiantly held tight during the drive gave up the fight and hit the floor.

At this point I realized I needed a new ladder, so back to Lowe’s I went. Then I realized our hedging shears were also broken, so back out again. With that trip completed and the top of the tree snipped of errant branches, it was time to get the lights on.

Normally, I go for fat, old-school bulbs. The modern iterations don’t get hot like they did back in the day, but they do emit a little heat. The bigger consideration was that they’re heavy, so I went with the smaller bulbs, of which I was short a few strands. I considered going out again, but decided to just roll with it. It still is 2020, after all.

From there, the family decorated. This was not an exuberant decoration. All fragile ornaments were left put away as the branches were already overloaded with the weight of the lights and couldn’t really handle much more. Ornaments dropped to the floor while we were still decorating. Yet we persisted and, with a little effort, got the large piece of kindling masquerading as a Christmas tree decorated.

Much like many humans, it’s much more attractive in the dark, although my attempts at spreading the too-few strands of lights becomes more obvious in those circumstances. A neighbor told me it looks like our tree has mange. He was joking, but he wasn’t wrong.

Yet we love it. Much like Charlie Brown and his own scraggly number, this tree needed me. No one was going to walk into that area of Lowe’s, look across the selection, and think, “There it is.” We took it and gave it a temporary home. We made it as beautiful as possible, especially given its lack of branches and insufficient load-bearing capabilities.

This year, we often have to get creative about what brings us joy. We may be sick of Zooms, we may miss large gatherings, but we’ve got one another, we’ve got a home, and we’ve got a tree. More important, we’ve got a fire pit.

So, while this year’s Cromwell Family Tree may be dry, scraggly, under-lighted, and not that impressive in its current form, it is going to be something to behold when it goes up in flames. That may not be what Christmas is all about, but it is still 2020, after all.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
KEYWORDS: 2020; bloggers; christmas; christmastree; christmastrees; holidays

1 posted on 12/23/2020 9:17:15 AM PST by Kaslin
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Kaslin





2 posted on 12/23/2020 9:25:48 AM PST by Fiddlstix (Warning! This Is A Subliminal Tagline! Read it at your own risk!(Presented by TagLines R US))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

Might want to read about The Babbs Switch fire on December 24, 1924 down in Oklahoma.


3 posted on 12/23/2020 9:39:41 AM PST by Ruy Dias de Bivar (Democrats have declared us to be THE OBSOLETE MAN in the Twilight Zone.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

My county is sold out of trees. They are coming in now from PA.


4 posted on 12/23/2020 9:39:42 AM PST by cnsmom
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

Looks like the dog doesn’t want to hike his leg on it.


5 posted on 12/23/2020 9:47:26 AM PST by Cuttnhorse (Nothing dies harder than a lie that people want to believe)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

I can’t think of a better way to end one of the worst years of our lives than to see the tree go up in flames and burn the house down on New Years eve...........LOL!


6 posted on 12/23/2020 9:54:47 AM PST by Hot Tabasco
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

I had to borrow a little four foot fake tree from someone who doesn’t put it up anymore. Decorating is easy, only one box needed. Cats can’t climb it this year, but there is one napping under it with overthrow on her mind. Should have set on chicken wire instead of a fuzzy blanket.

Grandson has shown he can tip my daughter’s 9 foot tree, and he can’t even walk yet.

Guy wires, honey. There’s a reason your mom always has guy wires.


7 posted on 12/23/2020 10:03:42 AM PST by heartwood (Someone has to play devil's advocate other.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

My aunt (now deceased) was of the artsy-fartsy crowd and loved to do things “different”.

One year, her Christmas tree was a limb she found out behind her house. Brought it in, leaned it against the wall...and decorated it. It was actually very well done and pretty cool.


8 posted on 12/23/2020 10:06:26 AM PST by moovova
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Fiddlstix
That is a beautiful tree.

I have been cutting my own from Scotch pines in my yard. My wife has been telling me to get rid of them, and I tell her to wait, they will make great Christmas trees. I cut down the last one this year.

I have a couple acres out back, but those are mostly baby hemlocks, those grown under the white pines, and are pretty malnourished and scraggly.

9 posted on 12/23/2020 10:06:28 AM PST by Fido969 (,i.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

At the age of 15 I had a house fire caused by a dry old tree and some old bulbs (my father never threw anything away). And as someone who had to drag her crazed mother out of our house (”I have to go upstairs and get the important papers,” she said as black smoke billowed upwards), I can reassure this person that while it may be 2020, a house fire is not something you want. Ever.


10 posted on 12/23/2020 10:25:10 AM PST by proud American in Canada (In these trying times, "Give me Librerty or Give me Death!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

I feel this guy’s pain about shopping for a tree later in the season. One year we went to the nursery (“hunt your own”) and they had already closed (this was also about the 16th or so). Last year’s tree had zero needles left by the time it hit the curb. This happens when you have the tree up past Epiphany.


11 posted on 12/23/2020 10:26:01 AM PST by microgeek42
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Kaslin

12 posted on 12/23/2020 10:27:14 AM PST by ETL (REAL Russia collusion! DEMOCRAT-Russia collusion!! Click ETL...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: proud American in Canada
At the age of 15 I had a house fire caused by a dry old tree and some old bulbs (my father never threw anything away). And as someone who had to drag her crazed mother out of our house (”I have to go upstairs and get the important papers,” she said as black smoke billowed upwards), I can reassure this person that while it may be 2020, a house fire is not something you want. Ever.

___________________

Yesterday, Dec 22, 2020...

“I didn’t want my sister to die,” a 7-year-old Tennessee boy explained of rescuing his year-old sibling from a raging fire that destroyed their home on Tuesday.

Parents Nicole and Chris Davidson, two former firefighters, first smelled smoke in the middle of the night and quickly tried to get their three children out of their burning New Tazewell home, WVLT reported.

Nicole Davidson recalled the flames didn’t allow her to go to her 22-month-old daughters’ room.

That’s when little Eli Davidson came to the rescue.

After the family got out, Eli’s parents gave him a boost so he could enter his sister’s room through her window.

Once inside, he grabbed her from her crib and handed her to their father safely, before jumping back down again, according to WVLT.

Eli said he put his fears aside and solely focused on saving his baby sister.

“Dad busted the window and then I said, ‘I can’t do it,’ like two times, and then I said, ‘I got her dad,’” the boy told the outlet. “When we went down there I said, ‘I was scared but I didn’t want my sister to die.’”

https://nypost.com/2020/12/20/tennessee-boy-saves-baby-sister-from-raging-house-fire/
_________________________________________________________








13 posted on 12/23/2020 10:35:35 AM PST by ETL (REAL Russia collusion! DEMOCRAT-Russia collusion!! Click ETL...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: Ruy Dias de Bivar

It’s all about Jesus Christ !! Lord and savior. !

not a stupid Tree 🌲


14 posted on 12/23/2020 11:06:13 AM PST by Truthoverpower (The guv-mint you get is the Trump winning express ! Yea haw ! Trump Pence II! Save America again )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Hot Tabasco

Christmas Tree’s On Fire

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4qexogn7Ss


15 posted on 12/23/2020 11:36:59 AM PST by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion, or satire. Or both.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: ETL

There is a picture in my local paper of nursery school kids sitting around a Christmas tree only it wasn’t called a Christmas tree, it was called a “gifting tree”. So now it isn’t proper to call a Christmas tree a Christmas tree.

Have you seen this where you live?


16 posted on 12/23/2020 1:17:15 PM PST by cradle of freedom (ET TU FOX NEWS. TRUMP TV THE ANTIDOTE TO FOX NEWS.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: cradle of freedom
Have you seen this where you live?

I live in stinking liberal-infested New York City.

Although I'm sure that's going on here too, I haven't heard it directly. But that is probably because I make it a point not to be around or listen to the various weirdos and idiots here very much.

17 posted on 12/23/2020 1:46:09 PM PST by ETL (REAL Russia collusion! DEMOCRAT-Russia collusion!! Russia-CHINA collusion! Click ETL...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson