Russia’s ‘Sausage King’ killed with crossbow while in sauna with woman

New York Post ^ | Nov. 2, 2020 | Yaron Steinbuch

[wildcard_redneck]

spell-check is my nemisis.

[Larry Lucido]

I didn’t realize being murdered with a crossbow is so funny to some people.

I take crossbow murders very seriously. I've investigated murders involving hammers, knives, pistols, rifles, cars, bats and other blunt instruments and then, of course, there are cross-bow murders of which I've investigaged - zero. I've investigated exactly zero crossbow murders. But I would have taken then very seriously. I told every one of my trainees to take them seriously. Now, if the murder involved a Russian sausage magnate killed by masked men in a sauna with a woman who escaped out the window to notify police, well, I can't help if maybe folks comment on the peculiarities of the matter. This could happen. But yes, I take all my cross-bow murders seriously.

[philman_36]

Was it an "assault crossbow" or the standard kind?

As weapons go, with the intent to leave behind as little evidence as possible
when committing a murder, it was a good choice of weapons.

[Yo-Yo]

[Churchjack]

The masked men attacked the meat magnate...I see.

[Texas Eagle]

At least they were conscientious enough to wear masks. Wouldn’t want the victim to catch the covid.

[pax_et_bonum]

Shouldn’t that be “seriesly”?

[al baby]

My first thought

[Larry Lucido]

That's Hugh!

[ResponseAbility]

****My back up of choice would be a muffler........****

I’ll take a battery and a couple of leads...

[FormerFRLurker]

Sometimes the jokes just write themselves. Only in Russia could this happen.

[BiteYourSelf]

It was probably a Stronginthearm bow. Be on the lookout for trolls.🤣

[Rebelbase]

Before he died I hope he was able to tell his assassins to stuff it.

[Joe 6-pack]

Abe was my first thought as well.

[Rebelbase]

The woman could be linked to the crime if she was casing the joint beforehand to provide info to the assassins but if she’s in hiding it might be a grind to find her.

[skr]

It was like shooting fish in a barrel, so no backup needed. Perhaps the second masked man brought a backup crossbow though.

[mass55th]

Why would they let the woman live? Sounds like she was in on it.

[vetvetdoug]

Gun control leads to crossbow use....

[robel]

Sounds like he never had a clue.

[NormsRevenge]

First the Ultimate James Bond succumbed, now the Sausage King and with a crossbow to boot? who next?

It ain’t easy being an oligarch or a legend these days.