We don’t want the federal police. No way. But hey... If you have any federal disaster relief dollars, well, we could sure use that.
A few billion dollars would do. Seems some of our finest citizens rioted and looted. Orange Man Bad, ya know.
Just checked the federal treasury. It currently holds -$26,534,120,918,261.29 or -$80,412.22 per person in the United States of America. Notice the negative signs. Mayor, you certainly are welcome to such a supply of funds as would make that $0.00. Please consult
Attn Dept G
Bureau of the Fiscal Service
P. O. Box 2188
Parkersburg, WV 26106-2188
Thank you.