I didn’t have an alternate contact on my phone.
I did have my itunes active computer. It didn’t matter (even with my account being open).
I did have access to my email account associated with my phone. It didn’t matter.
I even had my number code to unlock my phone and the phone in my posession. It didn’t matter.
I made an in person visit to an apple store. It didn’t matter.
I made an online request to rest my account access and they sent a warning message to my email account saying that it would be handed over to the requesting alternate entity if I did nothing to stop it.
My brother’s contact was only provided well after this final step. With no verification that it was the phone owner making the request.
It sounds as if you got connected to the department of dirty tricks rather than the Fairy Godmother department. It doesn’t sound like Apple’s usual approach to service to me.