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I think President Trump was a bit too guarded.

This is what I might have written SanFranNan:

Dear Nancy,

You swine, You vulgar little maggot. Don’t you know that you are pathetic? You worthless bag of filth, You are a canker. A sore that won’t go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious, and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid chomosmally aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasite pond scum and I wish you would go away.

You’re a putrescence mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a bick suck on a sour lemon. You are a bleating fool, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effulvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.

I will never get over the embarassment of belonging to the same species as you. You arw a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of the earth. And did I mention you smell?

If you aren’t an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating one. Try to edit your writing of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be accessed more easily.

You are weary, stale, flat. and unprofitable. You are grimy squalid, nasty, ans profane. You are foul and disgusting. You’re a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even Sheep won’t have sex with you.

You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of a snake? You are a waste of flesh. You have no rythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.

On a good day you’re a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasentness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.

I cannot believe how incredibally stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gone so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularly stupid. Blazinghot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be that of a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence so contaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I’m sorry. I can’t go on. This is the epiphany of stupid for me. After this you may not hear from me for a while. I don’t have enough strength to deride your ignorant questions and half-baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.

The only thing worse than your logic are your manners. I have snipped away most of what you ahev wrote because, well.....it didn’t really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True these are rudimentary skills that many of us “normal” people take for granted that everyone has an easy time mastering. But we sometimes forget about the “challenged” persons in this world who might find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case than I would have never read your post. It just wouldn’t have been “right” Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

P.S. You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaracious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, resrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystoptic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, and generally not good.