So he could actually bleed enough to earn just one of 5 purple hearts snagged in as many months.
The only award John “Ketchup Boy” Kerry could receive would be the Heinz 57 award. Why 57? Because 5 is his lucky number and 7 is his wife, Teresa’s, lucky number—all to keep in the Heinz family tradition. Why “Ketchup Boy?” It is suspect that Kerry sloshed ketchup on his minimal scratch from incoming gun fire to qualify for a Purple Heart. That Heinz 57 will always be his lucky number.
sarc/