In May of 1968, my mom went to a get together of friends. She was 17. Her drink was spiked and she was raped by a friend of a friend. About a month later she found out she was pregnant. She took an older cousin with her to tell my grandmother, who ran a beer-joint and was not the most pleasant of women at the time.
Abortion was legal in Colorado and my grandmother was hell-bent on taking my mom to Colorado to have me aborted. My mother refused. She insisted on having me. She insisted that she would not make an innocent life pay for her failure of going to that party - but an even greater evil committed against her by an unknown man (she didn't even know his name). And so - my grandmother made her move in with that older cousin of her's and she took care of my mom until she gave birth to me.
About 6 months later, she met my dad. She was working in a restaurant and he came in. They fell in love and 6 weeks later they were married. About a year later, they went to a judge, lied to him about my parentage and had my birth certificate changed. And that is ALL I knew for 49 years of my life - that this man was my dad and mom was my mom. Dad died in 2005 and mom died in 2016 - with me none-the-wiser.
Fast forward to last year when I did an ancestry kit (because my mom had always done genealogy and I thought it would be cool to add that to our family tree) and low and behold I got a message from a first cousin with a last name I did not recognize. Well - DNA doesn't lie but I just naturally assumed it was because one of my dad's brothers had done the deed. As a first cousin, you share a common grandfather - so that was my thoughts - either that or my aunt had given this lady up for adoption.
But that was not what it was. As I dug - I found out the truth. My entire family knew the facts (except my two cousins on my dad's side).
6 months passed and finally one of the cousins actually called me. We talked. During that time I had found out I had two sisters and that my biological father was still alive. After I talked to my cousins, my sisters called. I found out that in the 50 years that transpired since my conception, my father had become a missionary, and I now had two sisters (after being an only child - because mom and dad were never able to have kids of their own) and 8 nieces and nephews.
I am married with three children. I pastor a network of several hundred churches in many countries. I am a 32 year military vet - retired. I am VERY thankful for my life. I was the apple of my moms eye.
DO NOT EVER ASSUME you know the outcome of rape or that you are in the position to play God. You are not. If you doubt this story, message me and I will provide you with enough contact information to keep you on the phone for a month - including the numbers to my sisters who did not know I existed two months ago. My father? Well, he's in Estonia right now on a mission trip....but I can certainly send you the email he sent me when the paternity test came back.
Why people think things are so black and white is beyond me. To think you or anyone can snuff out a life and it is meaningless blows my mind. I am looking at three beautiful kids, one of whom is married and starting a family of his own, who are thankful they are here...and had people such as you and my grandmother had their way - it would all never had happened.
Words in bills have consequences. I'm glad, as are all the people my life has touched and the children I have, that the words you wanted included didn't impact me.
Remarkable story, NELSON111. Thanks for sharing and God Bless you for the success in your life — and a welcoming attitude to life’s ups and downs and dealing with the cards we’re dealt. Very fine lesson there.
Beautiful.
Beautiful post!!
Not everyone has to be a perpetual “victim” in life. Many of us take unfortunate circumstances and use them for God’s glory.
I was pregnant before I married my husband. And I wasn’t a teenager. I was a young working woman with a promising career ahead of me. All the wisdom and advice of that time said abort — your career was too important! But I didn’t and was blessed with my wonderful husband a best friend at the time who were both Catholic and were not going to let me go down that road.
And I, like you, now sit back and look over a wonderful 32 year marriage, three beautiful children, one now married and us expecting our second beautiful grandchild.
To think that I could have given it all up in one afternoon at an abortion clinic makes me almost nauseous to think about. I pray constantly for the women who find themselves in these situations and that they too would have great people in their lives to guide them, love them, and enable them to make that choice.
We women always have the choice, but it doesn’t have to be the choice to abort.
Thank you for giving your witness here. ALL lives matter.
Thanks