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Elizabeth Warren Leaves Brutal 1-Star Review For Ancestry.com (satire)
Babylon Bee ^ | March 12 2019

Posted on 03/14/2019 1:52:41 AM PDT by knighthawk

U.S.—Senator and presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren left a brutal 1-star review for Ancestry.com on a popular consumer review site, sources confirmed Tuesday.

Internet users noticed a particularly negative review of the site's DNA testing and family tree analysis services. They were then able to link the account, JefeWarren2020, to the presidential candidate's official email address.

"Site suggested I was only 1/1024th Native American, even though I have a lot of anecdotal family stories from my mama and my papa that suggest otherwise," she wrote in the bitter review. "Very bad services. I would not use them again."

"I even used my Native American heritage to get a leg up in life, and now some cheap website comes along and tells me it's all a lie? I don't think so, Buster!" the review continued. Warren then left a list of Native American words she knows as proof of her Indian heritage: teepee, maize, and buffalo.

"So as you can see, Ancestry.com is a huge scam!"


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: elizabethwarren

1 posted on 03/14/2019 1:52:41 AM PDT by knighthawk
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To: knighthawk
Warren then left a list of Native American words she knows as proof of her Indian heritage: teepee, maize, and buffalo.

Don't forget Powwow!

2 posted on 03/14/2019 2:06:11 AM PDT by LibWhacker
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To: LibWhacker

And How


3 posted on 03/14/2019 2:14:16 AM PDT by ASA Vet (Make American Intelligence Great Again.)
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To: knighthawk

Their dna test stupidly glossed over her cheek bones. ‘Why come’.


4 posted on 03/14/2019 3:35:56 AM PDT by Vaquero (Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you .)
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To: knighthawk

And don’t forget she used to bust out on the dance floor to “Apache” by the Sugarhill Gang. Further incontrovertible evidence of her Native American ancestry.


5 posted on 03/14/2019 4:10:50 AM PDT by Atticus
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To: knighthawk

I’m a pirate because I can say “Aarg” and “Aye, matey”. I can buy a parrot if I need further proof. Maybe an eye patch or a peg leg. Shouldn’t I be able to get benefits?


6 posted on 03/14/2019 4:27:54 AM PDT by Telepathic Intruder
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To: knighthawk

Bkmk


7 posted on 03/14/2019 4:32:42 AM PDT by sauropod (Yield to sin, and experience chastening and sorrow; yield to God, and experience joy and blessing.)
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To: knighthawk

Almost as good as her slamming those Rich, White people involved in the college entrance scams.


8 posted on 03/14/2019 4:41:15 AM PDT by windowdude
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To: knighthawk

1/1024th Native American, 100% Bitch


9 posted on 03/14/2019 4:57:47 AM PDT by tired&retired (Blessings)
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To: knighthawk

I recall that she used a private test done by a friend of her husband....


10 posted on 03/14/2019 4:59:03 AM PDT by tired&retired (Blessings)
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To: knighthawk

Mama and Papa taught her to use lies to get ahead.


11 posted on 03/14/2019 5:05:50 AM PDT by RouxStir
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To: knighthawk

DNA doesn’t lie, Lizzie. It just proved you to be the liar.


12 posted on 03/14/2019 5:49:41 AM PDT by 60Gunner (The price of apathy towards public affairs is to be ruled by evil men. - Plato)
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