Posted on 02/18/2019 11:48:58 AM PST by Oldeconomybuyer
Methane gas has increased 150% in the atmosphere since the mid 1700’s. (During the same time period, carbon dioxide has increased only 30 %.) A gram of methane gas has more than 25 times as much greenhouse gas impact as a gram carbon dioxide. As many know, flatulence, “farts,” are composed almost entirely of methane gas.
Therefore, Al Gore has developed a new program to combat this obviously increasing peril to our planet, and make a little money for himself at the same time.
It is called Fat Al’s Recycle Technology (F. A. R. T.).
Everyone will be required to wear a “F.A.R.T. meter,” (Cost $75, available only from Al Gore) which will record and automatically transmit to a new government agency (the Federal Automatic Recording Technology Department, The FART Dept.) the occasion of each fart and the volume thereof.
For an additional fee of $4,500, interested parties can purchase a fart capture device (available only from Al Gore). This 25 pound device can be conveniently worn under the special clothing available also from Al Gore in attractive shades of brown.
When full, the interested consumer can present his fart capture device to Al Gore’s recycling center, where for a fee of $0.10 per fart, the captured farts will be recycled into the US natural gas distribution system. Al Gore also will receive a modest fee of only $0.015 per fart for the energy content of the gas.
The interested consumer will also receive “fart credits” for the number of farts he recycles. These “fart credits” can be traded to other consumers, who elected not to purchase a fart capture device, through Al Gore’s Fart Trading Exchange. Al Gore will extract only a small commission of $0.01 per fart for each trade.
All Consumers will be required to be “fart neutral” by a “Cap and Trade” regulation, administered by the new FART Department.
Legislation is being developed as we speak, by the concerned Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi.
Get ahead of the mandated stampede to control this growing threat to our planet. Get you fart capture device now.
Saul Alinsky wants me to give up beef?
STEAK! Breakfast of Champions!
It’s the MEXICANS!
They’re producing too many beans!
There’s only one solution to save the planet....kill every person on earth.
The only actual statement meds was this:
“working collaboratively with farmers and ranchers in the United States to remove pollution and greenhouse gas emissions from the agricultural sector as much as is technologically feasible, including— (i) by supporting family farming; (ii) by investing in sustainable farming and land use practices that increase soil health; and (iii) by building a more sustainable food system that ensures universal access to healthy food.”
Which is pretty much what any smart farmer/rancher wants to do anyway. Increase efficiencies, reduce waste/pollution, provide a good product.
So, kind of a big nothing-burger.
Iguana farts in tub bump.
So ban Michael Moore from eating bean dip.
Problem solved.
Iguana farts in tub bump.
Reminds me of the old Japanese soap commercial they used to show on The Tonight Show with the schoolboys in the tub, and one boy lets loose in the tub.
The Mythology of Global Warming: Climate Change Fiction VS. Scientific Facts
Bruce Bunker is a retired scientist from Sandia National Labs, who earlier co-wrote this:
The Aqueous Chemistry of Oxides
Bruce C. Bunker and William H. Casey
https://global.oup.com/academic/product/the-aqueous-chemistry-of-oxides-9780199384259?cc=us&lang=en&;
They couldn't wait to get the 'natural gas to electricity plant' in there as a major cause of global turmoil. This beautiful, productive, safe, non polluting plant is in WVA.
So everyone made fun of Corey Booker and the Green New Deal wanting to abolish beef - and right on cue here is a methane alarm. Duh. And it’s based on the last 4 years? Nonsense.
Sorry. I’ll have to bear responsibility for this one.
These methane levels could be cut in half by cutting in half the number of politicians in Washington.
The best way to solve this whole mess is to find some way of blowing off the Earth’s atmosphere - presto problemo solvo
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