Posted on 11/04/2018 10:51:33 PM PST by Kaslin
The midterms are tomorrow, and the Never Trump conservatives’ latest collective self-own is their insistence that we vote for Democrats because of … get this … conservatism. Well, “ahoy” to that, you cruise-pushing goofs.
Pardon me if I doubt the savvy political insights of the guys who told us, “You know who’d make a great candidate? Jeb!” I just can’t get my mind around anyone who thinks Jeb! is the answer to any question except, “What political superstar has three letters plus an exclamation point, blew a couple hundred million bucks for like one delegate, and will have ‘Low Energy’ carved on his tombstone?”
Here’s what I think happens Tuesday, and I could be totally wrong – though being wrong would entitle me to be an honorary Never Trumper. I think we take three or more seats in the Senate and keep the House. I think we keep power in Washington in the hands of the conservative party. And the Never Trump conservatives think this would be a terrible outcome.
They are the worst.
Shockingly, Never Trumpers are still a thing, at least in DC, New York and the nether regions of the internet, but no one is sure of why. It’s certainly not by popular demand; nobody likes them except weirdos, loser, mutations, and MSNBCNN bookers.
Of necessity, they have abandoned their old grift – “We are totally committed to winning victories for conservatism!” – in the wake of Trump singlehandedly fulfilling all the conservative fantasies that had previously graced the letters section of The Weekly Standard and its cruise-curious ilk: “I never thought it would happen to me, but then my president ditched the climate scam agreement and cut taxes! Hot!”
But Trump made our erotic right-wing dreams come true after decades of Fredocon teasing. And now no one calls the Never Trumpers anymore, and when they try their old pals, they get a text back: “New phone who dis?”
So now they have their new grift. They are the keepers of the conservaflame, the True Conservatives™ who plan to rescue us from the success of the Trump Era. And as part of that plan to get their principled conservatism on, they have stumbled onto a bold and innovative strategy: Help liberals win.
Im skeptical, but Chet thinks that’s a clever move. Chet is, of course, my unicorn.
Now, they have tried this bold gambit before. Remember how in 2016 we were instructed that real right-wingers must vote for Felonia Milhous von Pantsuit because…reasons? Here’s how that cunning stratagem was supposed to play out:
Vote for Hillary instead of Trump. Liberals finish their fundamental transformation of America into Venezuela del Norte. Hey look, a squirrel! Conservatism is victorious.
Shockingly, people seemed resistant to this kind of outside-the-envelope thinking. But that has not stopped the Resistance Right from going for round two.
At least Wile E. Coyote learned not to stand under the same Acme anvil twice.
So now the kept-cons on the pages of the New York Times and the tiresome trolls on Twitter are again demanding that tomorrow we vote against conservative candidates and in favor of liberal ones to somehow make conservatives win. Hmmmm. I have several questions, among them, “What the hell is wrong with you people?”
But hey – Libs eat up the Benedict Kristol act and the conservaquislings get plenty of TV hits from their pals in the media dumping on actual cons. Isn’t that the important thing?
Not to actual Republican voters, but then we were never really important to these clowns.
It’s so transparently dumb that you wonder if they actually expect anyone to fall for it. In what world is giving Claire McCaskill another term going to help conservatism? How, exactly, is that supposed to work? Is letting her and her pinko pals run rampant over our civil liberties and America’s standing in the world going to get us Republicans so motivated that we … wait for it … elect someone who will do all the conservative things that Donald Trump is currently doing?
I’m not sure they have thought this out. It’s like merely posing a conservatives is enough. Isn’t it kind of alarming to realize that a significant portion of the allegedly intellectual wing of conservatism has bought into the idea of ideological participation trophies, yet here we are.
Or worse, maybe they have thought this out and just don’t care. They used to sneer “But Gorsuch!” at us when we pointed to that huge victory, as if success in advancing conservatism was not the only metric that mattered. But what matters to these people, these more-conservative-than-thou dopes who somehow convinced themselves that you can actual win by losing, is their own puny stature.
Maybe they want us to be defeated because they figure that if the movement loses, like it used to, we will turn on Trump and cast him out, leaving a vacuum that needs to be filled. And who would they propose fill that void? Oh wait, I have a guess. They imagine we’ll trash our own party and come crawling back to them, begging them to take their rightful places again on the bow of the cruise ship S.S. Conservative, Inc., shouting “I’m the king of the world, or at least of my little corner of it here at my desk in the Center for Conservative Coalitions of Liberty ‘N Eagles ‘N Families!”
All we have to do is take their advice and lose.
Nah.
I’m not worried that our voters will take their advice, because as my new book Militant Normals: How Regular Americans Are Rebelling Against the Elite to Reclaim Our Democracy, explains we Normals are woke to this particular nonsense,. The failure of their failures to do anything but fail will not fail to ensure that they fail at talking us out of voting our self-interest, just like they’ve failed at everything else, except failing.
Yes.
Help President Trump to Make America Great Again and give him a Republican Congress.
The RINOs/Never-Trumpers are the Fifth Column of Conservative Movement and the Republican Party. Ignore them like you do Democrats and Liberals. I want them crying tomorrow like they did in 2016 and will in 2020.
I love it so true. The Bill Krystol/Glen Beck/Eric Erickson types try to sell us that the path to victory is defeat. They are losers in the truest sense of the word. They WANT to lose because winning makes them uncomfortable. They would be happy to lose and write books about it and give speeches in $X a plate ballrooms at the Hilton.
Who will be the next Walter Mondale?
If I were a Neocon I think I would be keeping my head down. Trump has done in 2 years what the Bush Family promised for 30 and failed at.
That’s the single biggest reason these @ssholes despise Trump. He walked into the White House without spending a single day in public office, and has exposed the entire political/media establishment as a bunch of useless hacks.
Well yeah. Kurt Schlichter spelled it out nicely. :^)
I honestly suspect that most of these Congresscritters are raging alcoholics so it is actually pretty easy for Trump to get ahead of them. Must be like taking candy from babies.
The political predator posture of never Trumpers and Rinos howling with democrats like antifa body snatchers is not at all the image of moderate compromising individuals they pretend to be
Vote Republican....as if your future depends on it....
Yeah. And never marry a liberal.
The GOP there "revised" the rules so that party leaders, not voters, determined who won the states 34 delegates. Even at the GOP convention nominating Trump, these delegate would not pledge for the President.
Donald Trump condemns Ted Cruz Colorado victory as 'crooked'
These people are bought and paid for, and they didn't just go away. They are waiting like cockroaches in the dark for their chance.
Correct. The RINOs have no ideas. They don't know how to run things. They only know how to b*tch and moan that it's a shame they themselves have no power because look what the demoncraps over there are doing.
The Trump Train left them at the station long ago.
The difference is that Trump actually meant it when he made his promises. The Bushes didn't.
What is the alternative to “Never Vote for a Lying RINO” if your #1 instruction is “Always Vote”?
If Nancy Pelosi wins tomorrow - shoot them!
I can take losing to liberals but I can’t stomach losing to fredocon poseurs,
Those are the last people on earth from whom I want to take advice.
Yeah, that’s my dilemma right now.
My RINO congresscreature has been endorsed by a shocking laundry list of leftist organizations and unions, including the Teamsters, AFSCME, AFGE, NEA, IBEW, American Unity LGBTQ Equality Fund, and Vote Courage (Gabby Giffords Gun Grabbers).
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