[real saxophonist]

I used to watch Jeopardy all the time, and did pretty good. People said I should audition, but I cuss too much on the rare occasion I'd get one wrong.

I don't watch it at all anymore, because it's all pop culture and dancing contestants.

[morphing libertarian]

I used to be good at jeopardy. Could answer a lot of questions before the contestants. Then auditioned for Ben Stein’s Money. Made the first cut acing the test. But then auditioned on camera. Didn’t smile enough. They probably didn’t like me saying, well do something funny.