Don't be so hard on yourself. {;^)
IMO, the historical record makes it clear the 2d enshrines a material element of the bargain by which "the people" ratified the Constitution. The people should be entitled to rely on such element as though it is a promise.
If the government sees fit to breach that promise by banning personal arms (as some states are doing with federal court blessing) then it is the government that is the bad actor, not you.
The government may cover its bad action by labeling you and others a criminal simply for owning a gun, but it is without authority to do so and it is a self-serving fiction.
Given the soft coup v Trump by the WH and our nation's highest government institutions (which yet may be in play), one could reasonably conclude we are in greater danger than we were in 1791. If our government or the Constitution fails, there will be chaos in the streets and our families will face substantial risks.
I realize this, but we now unfortunately have a rogue government, and it’s not just the federal judiciary.
And yes, they are the criminals.
This is going to come to a head at some point in the future.
Free people cannot coexist with tyrants.