We the LGBTSHFDGNEYBSHBGFLKJSNBJ People (of ANY color, sex, gender, liberal political affilation, regardless of religion, age, or sexual preference) of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Soviet Collective, ignore Justice, insure domestic violence, ignore the common defence but give out lots of Welfare Money, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
Amendment I
Congress shall make no law allowing any religion, and all religion is banned, except Satanism (which is the official State Religion) ; or permitting the freedom of speech. All desired expression, be it press, on the internet, or in any broadcast media, must be approved by the Government. People are banned from peaceably assembling to petition the government for a redress of grievances, since the government is never wrong.
Amendment II
All guns, knives, ammunition, and metal of any kind, and hard plastics, and wood, and any chemical that can be used offensively, are strictly banned. Anyone who commits the crime of possession of any of these items shall be immediately put to death.
Amendment III
No personal property is permitted. Everything belongs to the government.
Amendment IV
You have no rights whatsoever for anything related to privacy (unless its about abortion), or any legal rights in criminal matters.
Amendment V
The government is allowed to kill you or imprison you for any reason, or no reason whatsoever.
Amendment VI
Screw you.
Amendment VII
No, we mean it. Screw you.
Amendment VIII
Why are you still reading? We’re going to kill you for that.
Amendment IX
That’s it. Yer going down, heretic.
Amendment X
We mean it.
Yikes!!