Mermaid Academies Are a Thing. Why You Should Be Afraid.

Weekly Standard ^ | January 16, 2018 | JOE QUEENAN

[PJ-Comix]

I'm trying to figure out the danger here. We were actually thinking of going to that Weeki Wachee mermaid auditions but just for fun since my niece, Genesis the Mermaid, is ten years too young to qualify. As to that Mermaid camp, it is way tooooo expensive. I got my niece a mermaid tail for just a little over $100 from Miami Beach Mermaids and taught her myself how to swim like a mermaid. Actually I also taught her how to swim at age six by emphasizing not to fear the water. It worked and a few weeks later I got her the mermaid tail. After a few quick tips on how to swim like a mermaid, you can see Genesis swimming as a mermaid for her first time at age 6 in this VIDEO.

[Spruce]

One of my saplings is a state champion synchronized swimmer. Total mermaid.

[Cats Pajamas]

Ancient folklore says they sing their siren song to drive men onto the rocks or to drag them down into the watery black depths, evil.

[Governor Dinwiddie]

#3: "Ancient folklore says they sing their siren song to drive men onto the rocks or to drag them down into the watery black depths, evil."

Are you talking about all women, or just mermaids?
 

[Calvin Locke]

One of the filler pieces on a local PBS station is on a mermaid school in Montreal. I think one of the girls said she paid over 2000, but fits as a second skin, and really moves through the water.

[PIF]

“... selling products or services that will be the first items struck off the shopping list once things go south. You know what I’m talking about. Fantasy Capo di Tutti Capi camps. Cribbage with the Stars. Falconry Schools for the Blind.”

—
Like Commercial Fishing for the Blind - featuring radar and compass navigation ...

[Cats Pajamas]

I guess probably all of us, except some freepers.

[Yaelle]

We have the mermaid tail snuggie here so our mermaid is couch bound for now. But she wants that swimming tail next summer! Viva Mermaids!

[Damifino]

Weeki Wachee's a few miles North of me. The place was once a top-tier Florida icon of tourist traps. It went the way of most of them; Marineland, Gatorland Zoo, Silver Springs... They're all still there but a shell of their haydays. The State took it over about a decade or so ago while it was in receivership.

I could have turned that place around :-) I would have marketed it as a Spring Break destination.
1) Expand the campground to pack in a thousand tents
2) Sell alcohol like Disney sells souvenirs
3) **IMPORTANT** Have the mermaid shows performed by the spring breakers!

Probably not a wholesome enterprise but it would be a heck of a venture. All fun and games until the giant clam malfunctions!

[Cvengr]

[blueunicorn6]

“Doing the Dolphin!!!”

It’s the new dance craze!

[ZULU]

Isn’t that maggot Billy Crystal involved with the Weakly Standard?

[Cats Pajamas]

Weirdorama. See I think that old drunk sailors were getting humped by dolphins and imagined they were beautiful woman with fish tales. Like that old Mickey Gilley song, the girls all get prettier at closing time.

[BradyLS]

How the mer made the maid.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

I don't see the danger either.

There is actually a job market, a small one and learning how to swim well is always a good idea.

Kids go to space camp that haven't a prayer of becoming an astronaut. Adults go to bush craft who would die if they actually were in a survival situation..

[P.O.E.]

Fond memories of taking my young daughter to Weeki-Watchee. Good clean fun for the very young.

[PJ-Comix]

The Spanish word for “Mermaid” is “Sirena.”

[PJ-Comix]

We have the mermaid tail snuggie here so our mermaid is couch bound for now. But she wants that swimming tail next summer! Viva Mermaids!

Check out MIAMI BEACH MERMAIDS.

[CrazyIvan]

“Weirdorama. See I think that old drunk sailors were getting humped by dolphins and imagined they were beautiful woman with fish tales. Like that old Mickey Gilley song, the girls all get prettier at closing time.”

Supposedly it was manatees that started the mermaid myth. Those salts were WAY overdue for shore leave.

[right way right]

WTH.